"I Hate That Women Have To Go Through This": Men Are Sharing The Subtle And Small Gestures They Do On A Daily Basis To Help Women Feel Safer

In an ideal and utopic world, women wouldn't need to be hyper-vigilant about their surroundings because we wouldn't need to worry about being in harm's way. Unfortunately, that's not the case. That said, I was curious and recently asked the men of the BuzzFeed Community to share the small or subtle things they do to help women feel safer in their daily lives, and the answers did not disappoint:

1."I do this to anyone I'm dropping off, but I especially take extra care to ensure my lady friends and female relatives are safely inside the house before driving off."

2."I won't get into an elevator alone with a woman. I know I'm not a threat, but she doesn't. I'm happy to wait another two or three minutes to make sure she feels safe."

—ohbiscuits

3."One of the main things I do is tell other men who are acting in misogynistic or objectifying ways that such behavior is unacceptable, and I refuse to back down if they say something like, 'It's not that serious' or 'It's just a joke.' And if they continue to push that behavior, I let them know that not only will I refuse to be friendly with them going forward, but I'll also be upfront with women in their lives about their actions (including family members). And while this may seem like it's less about safety, I also keep pads and tampons out on the counter in my guest bathroom, and I always have them in my work bag in case someone needs them."

4."When I see a woman walking alone, I will never put my hand in the pockets of whatever I wear. I let her see my hands so she knows I'm not carrying anything that might do her harm."

—Jeff, 61, Nevada

5."I finish work late and get off the train home at nearly half past midnight. If any women get off at the same station, I'll pretend to make a phone call as I leave the train, saying something like, 'Hey, I'm just getting off the train, so I'll be home in a few minutes. See you soon, love you!' I hope it makes them think I'm not trying to hide myself or sneak around."

6."At the gym, if I see a guy is plainly bothering a woman, I'll go up and act like I'm a good friend of hers. I won't say I'm her boyfriend, but I'll mention that she does have one."

—Ricky, 40, Missouri

7."Whenever I talk to a woman I don't know, I always stand at least 5–6 feet away from her. For example, I recently ran into a woman hiking by herself on a fairly remote trail. We stopped and exchanged pleasantries, and I made a conscious effort to give her enough space so she wouldn't feel threatened by me."

8."Whenever my friend would go meet a plug she didn't feel safe around or know well, I'd meet up with her a block or so away from their meeting place and hide in her trunk (she had a car with seats that would pop forward to allow access to the trunk). If the plug started getting handsy or aggressive, I'd pop out through the seat and persuade him to leave. It might be unorthodox, but my friend told me she always felt safe with a 'trunk goblin' on standby."

—thesettledpirate

9."Well, for one, I didn't vote for Trump."

10."It's not the sort of thing I can do for every woman, but I have access to my adult daughter's doorbell camera. If someone comes to her door, I'm the one who deals with them. We don't have a doorbell camera at our home, but I usually answer the door instead of my wife. I do the same thing if I'm over at any woman's house, even if I'm just a visitor."

—Albert, 59, Arizona

11."When walking the street at night while coming home from work, I make it noticeable that I'm listening to music while keeping a respectable distance away. If a woman walks slower than me, I give a wide enough berth as I pass by and say excuse me. Just be polite and move on."

12."I'm a college professor. I have no doubt that young women are hypersexualized, so I always go out of my way to make eye contact, listen carefully, and make sure my students know where to go in the university if they ever feel uncomfortable by anyone. This has created an environment where my female students (cis and trans) can be authentic and not worry if their male professor is objectifying them as they're learning. I hope that when they graduate, there will be men in their fields who will give them the same respect."

—K, 42

13."If there are other options, I never use the elliptical or treadmill directly next to a woman at the gym."

14."When I am walking on the sidewalk with a lady, I always ensure I'm on the side closer to the curb and traffic."

—modernghoul65

15."As a trans man who transitioned as a teen, I know what it feels like to be catcalled, harassed, and sexualized by strangers, family, friends, and whoever. So, I do my best to make the women I meet and am close to feel safe with me in many ways because I know how important it is. Among other things, I never, EVER touch a woman. I don't touch anyone without consent, but I don't even get close to touching a woman. And if we do have to be close, I always announce when I'm walking behind her, to the side, etc., like how you do in a restaurant kitchen. And if I do have to walk by them and we have to be close, I turn my body away from them — always. And if I happen to accidentally touch someone, I apologize and immediately put distance between us. That goes for anyone, man or woman, but especially women."

16."If it's nighttime and I see a woman walking alone, I take my hat off and put my hood down if I'm wearing one, just so that I'm easily identifiable and they can see who I am. I'm not trying to be a 'pick me,' but I hate that women have to go through this and think about this kind of stuff. It must be so exhausting all the time."

—Anonymous

17."I give plenty of space to women I do not know. As a tall and stocky man, I make it a point not to crowd a woman anywhere. If I'm out walking and encounter a woman, I go to the opposite side of the street well before the distance closes. When I'm pumping gas, if a woman is on the opposite side of the pump, I stand at the rear of my car. If I'm in an elevator with a woman alone, I stand close to the side so I don't appear to be blocking the way out. The list goes on. My measure is to give enough room so that she doesn't feel as if she is trapped in any space if she were to want to leave."

18.Lastly: "I believe women. I stand with women, no questions asked."

—Connell, 29, California

As someone who feels quite terrified whenever I find myself in an elevator alone with a man, I appreciate the dudes who stand off to the side or just wait for the next lift to come. If you're a man, what are some small or subtle things you do to help women feel safer on a daily basis? If you're a woman, what are some things men do that make you feel more at ease? Let me know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit using this form!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.