Men Are Sharing What They Think Is The Most Important Quality In A Woman, And I'm Curious What You Think Of Some Of These

Everyone has a list of qualities they look for in a friend or romantic partner. I came across this Reddit thread that asked men what they think are the most important qualities in a woman and a lot of these are deeper than I expected them to be. Here is what some guys had to say:

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity. 

1."My partner is the kindest, sweetest, most loving person I have ever met. She puts up with me, which is a big deal, and she does things to make me laugh daily. I wish I had met her earlier so we could have longer together — 22 years and counting."

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2."Compassion, loyalty, understanding. You can look the best in the world, but I wouldn't be interested if you didn't have these things. I need someone to treat me kindly, try to understand me, and point me in the right direction when I'm wrong; that's compassion and understanding. Then stick with me when it gets tough, that's loyalty. Love should automatically be there, but love needs support."


3."For me, she needs to appreciate little moments. The sound of the birds, passing conversation with a friendly stranger, a street musician, playful banter, fighting for the check at dinner, little things. If she can't appreciate that, if she's ALWAYS on her phone, never taking in the scenery but just operating from point A to point B like a robot, she won't be good company."


4."Empathy. There are a lot of good answers here, but all of them come from having a good sense of empathy."


5."The ability to actually speak her mind! Men are not mind readers. We may live on the same planet but we live in very different worlds."

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6."Someone who appreciates you for who you really are and doesn't try to change you."


7."Genuine love and care. Fake beauty fades. Sex is fun but not life. Just be my friend, love me, and keep me honest."


8."When women just take initiative. 'I'm ordering pizza, do you want some? Let's go out, wear something fancy/comfy. Let's watch a movie. Let's go to sleep.'"


9."To me, it's competence. It's very, very tiresome to be with women who are helpless, in constant need of rescue or aid."

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10."Enthusiasm. The thing I love about my wife is how enthusiastic she is about her interests, even the ones we don't share in common, even the ones that irritate me a little bit because theyre so far outside my understanding. She loves things intensely."


11."Actually and genuinely caring about men's emotions and their well-being. Too many still act like men have no feelings, can solve anything completely on their own, and don't need support at all. Too many relationships feel like a one-way street when it comes to supporting each other."

Two people sitting and talking intimately in an indoor setting
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12."Someone who wants to be with me and not the idea of me."


13."Maturity and tolerance. There is not a couple that doesn't argue at all; it's natural. However, it is important to sit and talk like two grown-ups, solve problems together, and not quit when it's hard. It is easy to quit when something bad happens, but being able to stay there for your partner when he or she is down is gold. You want to spend the rest of your life with that person."

Two people enjoying a conversation at a restaurant table.
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14."Conscientiousness. Relationships are hard and require effort. You have to accept that neither of you is perfect, and both of you will make mistakes in life. She has to be willing to admit she's capable of needing to work on certain things, same as you, and then also be willing actually to try to work on them — conscientiousness, essentially."


15."I think the top things that are vital to me is someone who is a compassionate, family-oriented homebody is what I look for."


16."Consistency. Saying what you mean and standing by it even when it isn't easy. Accepting the consequences of your actions and understanding that obligations are a part of living and not something to be negotiated. That is so incredibly important, and it's something I'm seeing less and less of. It frustrates me."


Is there anything that you can add to this list? If so, share it with me in the comments below!