I go on 'milestone' birthday trips with my 2 sisters. Our next is to honor what would have been our mother's 100th birthday.
Over 20 years ago, for my 50th birthday, my mom, two sisters, and I started taking trips together.
We travel for our "milestone" birthdays — any age ending in zero. We've taken 10 trips together.
Our mom died in 2021, and our next trip is to honor her 100th birthday.
A few months before my 50th birthday in 2002, I was in the hospital for five days. I had become suddenly and severely ill; doctors did numerous tests and ruled out anything serious aside from anemia. While in the hospital, my older sister Diane called and asked if I needed anything. My answer was, "Quality time with my sisters and Mom." Diane reminded me that my 50th birthday was coming up in June, and suggested we reunite to take a trip together. Hence, "The Schemes and Dreams Tour," as we have come to call it, was conceived.
Until then, the four of us — me, Diane, our younger sister Ilyse, and Mom, whose name is Rhoda, but who's affectionately called "Rho Rho" by everyone she knows — had only taken one short trip together a few years earlier, meeting in Miami and spending four days shopping, eating good food, going to arts events, and laughing a lot.
We are as close as four women can be, and that bond has grown infinitely stronger over the years. As kids, my sisters and I bickered as all siblings do, but we truly love, respect, and admire each other; we always say we'd choose each other as best friends even if we weren't related. Each of us aspires to be like our mother, an extraordinary woman who touched many lives and was adored by everyone who met her.
I knew I was going on a trip — but everything else was a surprise
The three of them decided that they would plan a surprise destination and various activities to celebrate my 50th birthday. I was not to find out where I was headed until the morning of my flight, the day before my birthday. I was sent a list of what to pack, and my sisters plotted with my husband to get me checked in for my flight the day before and to drive me to the airport. Unbeknownst to me, they arrived one day before I did so they could prepare our accommodations and put the finishing touches on their plans. They were all waiting for me at the airport when I got to baggage claim, and the fun began immediately.
The destination turned out to be Scottsdale, Arizona, where we stayed at the beautiful Boulders Resort & Spa in a two-bedroom casita. This was close to where I was born in 1952, at Luke Air Force Base where my dad, a general surgeon, was stationed during the Korean War. Upon our arrival, my sisters and mom whisked me away in a rental car to Afternoon Tea at The Phoenician.
While I'm more of a coffee drinker, I loved the light feast of tea and finger sandwiches, scones, and delicate pastries, and it put me into "relax" mode right away. We stayed up late that night watching the Tony Awards — my whole family loves theater and all the arts — and we laughed ourselves silly. Around midnight, Diane said we had to go to bed because we were getting an early start the next morning.
When she woke me before sunrise, at around 4:30 a.m., I asked jokingly if we were up so early because we were going to celebrate my exact birth time! She giggled and said, "You'll see!" We drove to the desert, where we met a guy with a hot-air balloon. None of us had ever been up in a balloon, and watching the sunrise over the Arizona landscape on my birthday was exhilarating. Our mom was 78 then and climbed in and out of the balloon with little assistance. When we landed, we were led to a beautifully laid table with fixings for mimosas, fresh fruit, and my favorite dessert, carrot cake.
Over the next few days, I was pampered, loved, and treated to gifts and cards throughout each day. There were so many surprises, I felt like the luckiest woman alive.
We've gone on nine more trips together since then
That trip was the first of 10 we have taken, eight of them with Mom. Each trip has become more elaborate; we travel for around six to 10 days and usually hit about two or three destinations within one trip. We call them "Zero Birthdays" because my sisters and I have each been treated to a trip on our 50th, 60th, and now 70th birthdays. We treated Mom to birthday trips every five years, starting with 80, then 85, then 90. Her 95th birthday was during the pandemic, so we couldn't celebrate with her as we would have liked.
Diane is a travel agent and was responsible for booking destinations and tours and coming up with a theme for each trip — except for when she was the "birthday girl," when I would take over. Ilyse is an expert at finding the best shopping and restaurant destinations, and I became our poet laureate, writing poems to go with each excursion, gift, or other aspect of the trip. We all gave our input on other things, such as museum trips, comedy shows, spa days, dance or theatre events, craft shows, and more.
Though the three planning the trip split the cost, Mom always insisted on paying for our meals. After the first several trips, Diane made beautifully crafted albums with photos and mementos, and I created a handmade album with the poems I had written. Diane and I each spent a fortune buying craft supplies for these projects!
Mom helped plan my last birthday trip
Though Mom wasn't able to travel as easily after Ilyse's 60th birthday trip — a weeklong cruise to Bermuda — we found ways to include her in Diane's 70th trip by stopping to see her in New Jersey in between our destinations of New York City and Brigantine, New Jersey. Mom died in October 2021, and we missed her dearly on our first trip after that, my 70th birthday in June 2022. But she had been in on the planning from the start, and we felt her presence with us the entire time.
That trip began with two days in Miami and then a five-day cruise to Costa Maya, Mexico, and Bimini, a chain of islands in the Bahamas east of Miami. Diane and Ilyse shared a cabin, and I had my own cabin with a special roommate: a large pillow with Mom's face on it! It felt like Mom was with me, and I giggled every time I walked into the room and saw her smiling face.
This coming April, Diane, Ilyse, and I will take a trip to Playa del Carmen in Mexico to celebrate Mom's 100th birthday. She will be with us in spirit, in our hearts, and in the form of the pillow — which I will be sure to bring with me!
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