Mom Leaves Teenage Stepdaughter Out of Disney Plans to Avoid Her 'Ruining the Trip with Complaints'

The woman's reasoning for not including the teen in the family trip sparked debate on Reddit

A mom-of-four is facing some scrutiny after deciding not to take her stepdaughter on a big Disney vacation.

In a post shared to Reddit's "Am I The A------?" subreddit earlier this week, a user who goes by the username D-Hearing228 opened up about the difficult relationship she has with her 16-year-old stepdaughter that caused her to leave the teen behind when she brought the rest of her kids on a Disney vacation.

According to the original poster (OP),she has one child from a previous relationship, two children from her husband's previous relationship and one child with her husband. She and her husband, both 41, have "always treated the children as equally as possible" when it comes to family vacations, she says.

The problem she has is with her teenage stepdaughter, who "doesn't really like anything that anyone else does. Or she will like it until someone else does."

For example, "She really wanted to go on a winter trip to Colorado for skiing. None of the other children were that excited, but seeing as it's hard to find things she likes, we went. She was excited until the other kids started enjoying it too, then she wanted to leave," the Reddit user writes.

"This is pretty much what happens when we went on trips to the zoo, museums, anything," she continues. "And if other people are already happy about it, she immediately hates the idea."

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According to the OP, her and her husband, as well as the 16-year-old's mom, have tried to connect with her better, have taken her to a counselor and tried to help her find activities that she truly enjoys to no avail.

"We thought maybe she just wanted time with each parent alone. So we did that with both her mom and dad. She still complained the whole time," she says. "Her counselor said maybe she wants activities with both parents to show they get along. They did that, but if they show any enjoyment at all, she hates whatever they are doing. We've done girl days with her mom and I and she hates it."

"We have found the less enthusiastic we are, the more she wants to do it," the user writes. "This applies to meals too. If someone else likes something, she finds ways to criticize it. It's like she can't let anyone else enjoy anything."

The user clarified that she and her husband have tried lots of solutions to help her stepdaughter better enjoy a trip, including letting her pick locations or telling her to bring a friend — but these strategies have yet to work.

"If she sees someone like something she chose, she complains and says it was her idea like no one else can enjoy it," the user writes.

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All of these struggles came to a head when the family decided to plan a trip to Disney. The choice was inspired by the OP's nephew, who has cancer and "has always wanted to go with us, because he has no siblings and not many friends because he's missed a lot of school."

"[My stepdaughter] said it was stupid as soon as everyone else wanted to go," she says, noting that her husband decided to stay back from the trip because he was caught up with work. "I made the reservations for myself, sister, nephew, and three of our children, deciding [my stepdaughter] can stay back with dad since she didn't want to go anyway."

She says she asked her stepdaughter multiple times if she wanted to join them on the trip so she could have the opportunity to change her mind.

Now, the user says her husband is accusing her of being cruel for leaving the teen behind.

"My husband says [I'm the a------] for not planning for her to come too, but I don't want her ruining the trip with complaints with my nephew there," she claims.

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Ultimately, the Reddit community almost unanimously declared the this mother-of-four wasn't "the a------" because of her decision to leave the 16-year-old behind, but many people shared in the replies that they were worried about the teen's mental health.

"NTA," one user wrote. "I'd only advise, you, your partner and the child's mother to focus more on her mental health treatment because this thing sounds very pathological to say the least."

The original poster replied: "We've had the same concerns and fortunately she participates in the counseling, though there hasn't been progress that we can see."

"It sounds like she is struggling to find her individuality," another user chimed in. "I wasn’t this extreme, but I definitely thought if I liked things people weren’t keen on or didn’t know about that I was unique and it was special. I didn’t want to like the same things as everyone else either. I’m glad to say I grew out of it when I wanted to enjoy things with others and share experiences."

"You’re doing a great job trying to help her figure it out, splitting time and activities with all parents," the reply continued. "I think not bringing her is the perfect solution for everyone, you deserve to enjoy any vacation but especially such a pricy one I wouldn’t risk an upset. My advice for when she starts grumping at places is to straight up ignore her. Keep having your fun and let her learn to join."