Mom sparks debate after organizing club night six days after giving birth
How soon is too soon to go for a night out on the town after giving birth? One woman posted this question in an online parenting forum after her friend sent a message to organize a club night just days after having a baby.
“A friend of mine has just become a first time mum and her LO (little one) is 6 days old,” wrote MrsG841 on Mumsnet. “She messaged a few us to organize going clubbing on the weekend. AIBU (am I being unreasonable) to think that she shouldn’t think about this at such an early stage?”
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The question instantly generated hundreds of responses. Quite a few mentioned that the new mom is entitled to have a night out, although some said they would secretly judge her.
“She’s probably looking forward to letting her hair down after the long haul of pregnancy. The reality of looking after a newborn may not truly have hit her. If you want to go, go. If not don’t,” wrote BikeRunSki.
“It’s entirely up to her when she chooses to go out…everyone’s different,” Ashkey234 commented.
“If she feels up to it then good for her!” AfunaMbatata stated.
“Yeah, I’d judge/find that odd. I wouldn’t say anything naturally, but it isn’t my bag either in terms of company or actions,” added Witsender.
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Some commented that they did something similar.
“She’s just had a baby, after 9 months of carrying it. If she wants a night out and feels up to it why shouldn’t she?” Wrote Greggers2017. “Baby will be well looked after. I went to a colleague’s leaving when my youngest was 10 days old, it was excellent bonding time for baby and daddy, and Daddy loved it.”
“What’s the acceptable age then? Do tell us, so we can be good mothers,” wrote Bast-rdGoDarkly. “My first was two weeks when I went out with my friends, my husband had him, what exactly is sh-t about it?”
Others were adamant that it was “bad parenting.”
According to FlandersRocks: “On Mumsnet, the majority will probably say it’s fine to leave your week old baby for a night on the town, or to jet off on holiday and leave your 5-week-old for a fortnight with the grandparents and the like. In reality it’s sh-t parenting and I’d judge her, as would most in real life.”
“Of course I would judge,” said coddiwomple. “Good for her if she is physically well, but who would want to drop your newborn to go clubbing? That’s just weird. If she is already bored of him at 6 days, it’s not looking good for the future. Most parents actually enjoy spending time with their babies. If the father has already left with the newborn now, I hope he’s not the kind to want to see his own mates, or you can imagine the endless arguments about having to stay with the child. I could just about understand wanting to meet for coffee or a drink, but clubbing? Blimey.”
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A user named Beelzebop has seen a friend do this before: “I would advise her not to go. Majorly changeable hormones, plus first (sip of) alcohol in ages and maybe lack of sleep equals trouble. My friend was insistent she wanted to go out, few drinks later she ended up in a fight.”
After receiving numerous responses , the original poster simply noted that she was worried about her friend: “Im not saying she cant let her hair down or go out, I just personally think it’s a bit soon. Also she has never been one to have a couple of drinks, she will go out and get completely hammered. I just feel that maybe give it a couple of weeks to settle in as a mom.”
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