'Good luck, buddy': Mom's hilarious parenting 'tips' for husband go viral
If you’re a parent, you know that every now and then, you need a little break.
But a break from the routine, especially when you’re the parent who spends a lot of time with your kids and their habits, can cause a spiral into havoc.
That’s why Meghan Maza Oeser left a thoughtful note for her husband before she jetted off with her girlfriends for a weekend trip.
In a Facebook post that has since gone viral, Oeser shared her “tips” in a letter addressed to her husband.
“Dearest Husband,” the letter starts. “I’m writing this to you out of love, not fear. I wanted to go over a few things with you before you embark on this weekend alone… with the others.”
Warning: Explicit language
“Nighttime, daytime, breakfast time, and somewhere around lunchtime can easily be mistaken for pure HELL, with Satan coming off as a My Little Pony in comparison.”
Yeah, it’s already easy to see why the post has been shared more than 50,000 times.
“Upon arriving home after work, things won’t seem so bad. The others will hug, jump, and for the most part, be pretty excited to see you. This will be short lived…I promise. School season or not…this is also known as hell hour. The others will fight about anything and everything, with Quinn and Penny being the biggest instigators. It’s most likely that Quinn will be pissed off about Penny wearing her Elsa dress, and Penny equally pissed off because Quinn will ONLY refer to her as Anna. Penny will also be fighting sleep, which I’ll get to later.”
Dinner doesn’t get better.
“Dinner will suck. Bailey will want pizza, while Harper will ask for hotdogs. Quinn will cry when you say the word hotdog, and will insist on Mac n cheese (but not the orange kind or the white kind, but the purple kind).”
But bedtime is the real problem.
“Bedtime…Good. F——. Luck, buddy.”
“Pajamas. F— pajamas. Don’t even ATTEMPT anything but a nightgown for Penny. And if you cannot find a nightgown for Penny, keep f—— looking. She’ll ask for her Minnie Mouse nightgown, but once you put it on, she’ll scream in agony because the sleeves are CLEARLY ripping her f—— arms off. Just find her Elsa one. Chances are, it’s dirty as s—, but so what…so is she. I can’t remember the last time I put soap to that one.”
And if her husband thinks that surviving the night was the ultimate feat, he’s wrong.
“Breakfast. Ha! Just as fun as dinner…if not worse. Get coffee. LOTS of coffee.”
And she ends the note with a poignant message: “Oh, also…just incase you wanted to get ANYTHING done this weekend…good f—— luck. Quinn cries basically every 5 minutes, and you would think that Penny’s esophagus was on certain fire every 4.5 seconds. She’ll need constant refills, which leads to more potty breaks. Sometimes she can go by herself, and sometimes she’s completely useless and will whine about everything. Including, but not limited to, her underwears feeling funny. Have backup underwears. Oh, and since you made me get rid of most every sippy cup, leaving me with 2…she’ll lose those.”
Ah, the joys of parenting.
What do you think of this mom’s viral letter? Let us know by tweeting @YahooStyleCA.
