Mother-in-Law Refuses to Visit Newborn After Mom-to-Be Sets Some Boundaries

A pregnant woman is feeling stuck after her mother-in-law pushed back on her 'no overnight visitors' rule

Ashley Vega
·3 min read
Flashpop/Getty Stock photo of pregnant woman

Flashpop/Getty

Stock photo of pregnant woman

A mom-to-be is seeking advice from Reddit users after butting heads with her mother-in-law over postpartum boundaries.

“I recently told my husband I didn’t want anyone staying overnight at our house for the first few days after birth,” the woman writes in the Reddit post. Though her husband was initially surprised, he ultimately supported her decision.

Together, they informed both sides of the family about their plans. The mom-to-be clarified that family members are welcome to visit throughout the day but emphasized the importance of having a quiet, uninterrupted first few nights to bond with their newborn and adjust to their new roles as parents.

Getty Stock photo of man and pregnant woman

Getty

Stock photo of man and pregnant woman

"I suspect it might be hard having people over all day when I am that tired and emotionally vulnerable right after giving birth, but I understand grandparents wanting to be around the baby right away and having some time to ourselves at night felt like a good compromise,” the expectant mother notes.

Related: Woman Says Her Mother-in-Law Kept Showing Up Uninvited to ‘Redecorate’ the Nursery. Then She Went Too Far

While the woman’s mother understood her daughter, her mother-in-law responded with unexpected resistance, which shocked the mom-to-be. “When my husband explained this to his mom, she became upset and said if she couldn’t stay with us, she wouldn’t come at all," she writes.

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The woman offered her mother-in-law to stay at her mom’s nearby home, which has a comfortable guest room, or at a hostel, with all expenses covered by the couple. However, the alternatives didn’t sit right with her.

“This response threw me off,” the woman admits. “We’ve always hosted her before, even though having guests makes me anxious. I’ve never said no because she’s family, but I feel the first few days after birth are different.”

Her husband understood and was supportive of his wife, but she knows he’d want his mother there. “I want that too—for her to meet her grandchild and for my husband’s sake," she shares.

Getty Stock photo of woman holding baby

Getty

Stock photo of woman holding baby

But the woman notes the mother-in-law’s response has left her feeling anxious. She feels if she gives in, she'll end up overwhelmed and it’ll affect her overall experience leading up to the baby’s birth. However, she worries if she doesn’t let the woman stay with her, it’ll cause a strain on the relationship between the couple and the mother-in-law.

Related: Mother-in-Law Offers to Pay for Grandchild's Nursery, but Mom-to-Be Shuts Her Down

Many users have sided with the poster. “You have every right to make the decision that is best for you, especially when you are going through such a major life event like having a baby,” writes one user.

Another believes the stress shouldn’t be put on the mom-to-be and the husband should handle the situation with his mother.

“Your husband needs to handle his mother as the stress this is causing you is incredibly dangerous for you and the baby," they write. "Ignore her and focus on getting ready for motherhood. Nothing else matters.”

Read the original article on People

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