"Nobody Ever Told Them That Vital Bit Of Info": People Who Took DNA Tests Are Sharing The Completely Shocking Truths They Have Discovered About Themselves
Chances are you know someone who took a DNA test only to find out something they weren't expecting. But what happens when that DNA test comes back with information that could potentially change a person's entire life?
Well, over on Quora people have been answering the question, "Has anyone ever taken a DNA test and found something completely shocking?" Here are the stories from the individuals who responded in threads like this one and this one.
1."I am a member of Tall Clubs International, a group for people above average height. I stand at 6’4” and am one of the shortest members of the group. One of my friends is from a family of short(er) people. He is 7’2”. His parents were 5’3" & under 5 feet tall, and his sister is 5’5”. He heard all the jokes about 'mailman,' 'milkman,' etc... so one year for Christmas his younger sister got one of the ancestor DNA kits and they both took them..."
"Their parents had passed away several years earlier. The results came back, and he and his sister have NO common DNA factors. They asked around their other family members, and an old cousin told them, 'Oh yes, your parents adopted both of you when you were just babies.” In over 30 years, nobody ever told either one of them that vital bit of info. Now both of them are searching for where they actually came from."
2."A friend of mine was born using a sperm donor in the '80s. She had two wonderful mothers and a great extended family, but part of her always wondered about the biological father no one had ever known. When she was in her mid-thirties, she decided to do 23andMe to see if she could get any information about the side of her family she did not know. She got the results back and found out her dad was most likely of Western European descent and that she had three half-siblings. This was far beyond what she ever thought she would find..."
"...She thought these must be the kids from her father's marriage! She sent them all messages, hoping to meet this other family and maybe even her biological dad. Except none of them knew him either. Turns out they were all the product of the same sperm donor, and two of them had no idea until my friend had reached out to them that they weren't the biological children of both of their parents. There was, of course, some family drama left and right. When the dust cleared, though, they all decided to band together and find their real dad. And they did! Turns out that in the '80s he had been a poor college kid trying to make a little extra money donating to a sperm bank, and he still lived in the same area. Not only did they all meet him, but now he's dating one of their moms, who, again, is the mother of one of his children, though they didn't meet until over 30 years after the fact. Life is crazy."
3."I had long had a suspicion that my father was not my biological father. We looked nothing alike. It never bothered me, but he was a 5'4" Egyptian man, and I'm a 5'9" very white woman. At some point, my sister's MIL gave her an AncestryDNA kit for her birthday. Sure enough, it came back that she was 0% Egyptian. Both our parents have been deceased for several decades so we couldn't ask them. At that point, I figured I should just go ahead and take the DNA test myself."
"...Sure enough, I got the same results. I told my sister that I had heard a rumor from my mother’s best friend that our parents had fertility problems. I had quietly assumed that we had been a product of a sperm donor for years. My sister and I appear to be half-sisters. She’s three years younger than I am, so it makes sense. Fast forward six weeks after my results came in, and I got an alert from Ancestry that I had a match. I opened the email, and the first line was like, 'John Smith (not real name) is your father.' I was ready to acknowledge that I was not biologically my father's daughter, but for some reason, it startled me that I was about to find out who my actual father really was. I didn’t contact him. I was in my forties at the time, and I imagine when he donated sperm that many years ago anonymously, it never occurred to him I’d show up. But a couple of weeks later, he contacted me. After a few back-and-forth messages, it turns out he was a sperm donor, a retired OB/GYN (not my mother’s), and was indeed my biological father. On top of that, I have three other half-sisters, the youngest of whom is three months older than I am. Of course, there may be more of us out there. I’ve met the family multiple times. They’re a very nice group of people, and my biological father calls me his fourth daughter. I look a lot like my biological sisters. As crazy as all of this sounds, it didn’t really cause any identity crisis. I was in my 40’s. I knew who I was at that point and who my 'real' father was, the one who had raised me. On top of that, I had fertility issues myself and had used a donor egg and sperm for my daughter. I discovered all of this after my child was born. It would never occur to me that my daughter wasn’t my 'real' daughter. I gave birth to that girl and raised her, and I’ve been honest with her about all of it (in an age-appropriate way, of course). My mother died when I was eight, so my Egyptian father was a single parent raising two girls. I still feel half-Egyptian. As far as I’m concerned, I just have more nice people in my life."
4."When I was 17 years old I was taken to court for a paternity suit by my ex-girlfriend. She claimed I was the father of her child. She and I were sexually active and did not use effective birth control. Ultimately, I pleaded no contest and started paying child support monthly. I supported the girl for 19 years with no visitation rights. Certain times were hard, and she took me to court to have the support payments increased by 300%. Again, I was ordered by the judge to pay the increase as my income increased. Fast forward to today, the girl (who now has a daughter of her own) messaged me. She said, 'I look at photos of your children, and I don’t see any resemblance to myself. I would like to pay to have a DNA test done. Would you agree to this?'"
"... I had nothing to lose so I agreed. We got the results back, and it was determined I was NOT her father. She and I went through so many emotions. Anger, relief, sadness, and more. I have messaged the mother with no reply. I feel bad for the girl because now she never knew her biological father and probably never will. I have no recourse to collect the support payments as Canada has no statute. I will just live with the fact I helped support a child that turned out good."
5."I took a DNA test about five years ago, and it confirmed what little information I already knew. I have almost no living relatives except for my children, but this is where the shocking part comes into play. All three of my kids had 23andMe DNA tests taken at the end of 2023. They are all in their 30s now. The tests showed that they are all only half-siblings, and each one has a different biological fathers (spoiler alert: not me). My ex (their mother) passed away ten years ago from cancer, so the mystery of who their biological fathers are went to the grave with her. This definitely has been an adjustment for our family, as we all felt betrayed. At 65, to find out you have no biological children was very shocking. To make it worse, I am the last male descendant in my family."
6."Many years ago, one of my brothers was accidentally killed. He had a girlfriend. For years, my mom lamented that he didn't have at least one child so she would still have a part of him here. Well, a few years ago we all did an AncestryDNA test to see if we could find any relatives from my maternal grandmother’s side. She was a refugee from Germany who came to the US with an American family for safety during World War II. She never reconnected with any of her family again. A cousin and I had gone to Germany to research, but the village that she grew up in had been completely annihilated during the war..."
"...We met with the Red Cross there and many other officials. Nothing could be found as to what had happened to them. We know they existed; she had brought many pictures of her with her family from the time she was a baby up to her teen years, holiday gatherings, birthdays, etc. So we were hoping to find someone who remained from her family. A few months went by, and my mom got a notification that a close match had been found for a child or grandchild. I also got one that said a niece or cousin had been identified. We were certain this was a mistake because we could account for every single person in our family. To make a long story short, my brother’s girlfriend moved back to the East Coast after he died. None of us thought anything of it. She was grieving and wanted to be close to her mother. But apparently, after a couple of months, she found that she was pregnant. Keep in mind, this was the very early '80s when OTC pregnancy tests were not a thing. By the time pregnancy was confirmed at three months, she had lost all contact with our family on the West Coast. This was also before cell phones. Also, she had been seeing another man while she and my brother were dating. Anyway, we were able to get in touch with this mystery relative via Ancestry. When we met in person, I almost fainted. She was a female replica of my late brother, and she had two kids of her own, the youngest of whom looked just like my brother’s twin. My Mom got her wish, after all, a child of the child she lost. But we never did find any of my Grandma’s family."
7."A month ago, I looked at my Ancestry account and saw two messages from a woman who had a 50% DNA match with me. I surrendered my daughter in 1966 when I was 18. At the time, I was living with my alcoholic, abusive mother, a wonderful stepfather, and a totally spoiled half-sister. I had suicidal thoughts almost daily, and I knew I wouldn't survive if I didn't get out. It turns out this woman who contacted me is, in fact, my 58-year-old daughter. We connected and talked. I gave her life but couldn't raise her. I know it was a good thing, in hindsight. She has now withdrawn from me, which is her understandable choice. I let her know I am here for her when she is ready."
8."A friend of mine and her siblings took the DNA Ancestry test just for fun, and they were shocked to learn their father had an entire family before he married their mom and had them. Their parents had passed, so there was no one to ask about it. They were curious, so they hesitantly contacted the other family, who were indeed their half-siblings, and their mom was also deceased. My friend and siblings were about ten years younger than the children in their father's 'other family.' It turns out that the father's first family knew all about his second family from when they were kids. They apparently accepted he had a new family. Their parents were still a couple, but they spent limited time together because the father stayed most with his new wife and growing family."
"My friend said the newly discovered half siblings were excited to meet them finally. They had promised to keep their father's secret and not contact the younger siblings, but when the younger siblings found them on their own, they felt that they could finally reveal themselves.
I asked my friend if she thought her mom knew that her husband had another family and if his' business trips' were visits to see them. She said that's what she and her full siblings struggled with the most. They think she wouldn't have accepted the situation from the start, so she couldn't have known.
But it still would have been a relief to ask her and know for sure."
9."I saw a picture of my birth mother for the very first time after wondering for 35 years what she might have looked like. I'm adopted, and my adoption happened 'behind closed doors' back in the 80's. There was no letter from my birth parents, pictures, or even a name. When I was 12, I had to do a school assignment where I made a pie chart of my ethnicity, and I made it all up. I started to get really curious about my background. I always wanted to see a picture of my birth parents. I was not seeking a relationship with them or to meet them. I only wanted to know a little bit more and to have a picture in my mind..."
"...My parents knew the doctor who arranged the adoption, so I wrote him a letter to find out what he knew or remembered. While he remembered some details, he didn't know much, and it didn't satisfy my curiosity. This was when the internet was in its infancy, so I moved on.
Fast-forward 20 years to when 23andMe came out. I was first in line to do a DNA test to learn my ethnicity. I learned I had mostly Southern Italian blood. I thought this was cool to know, closed the app, and never thought twice about it. But then, the real shock…
A few years later, I'm sitting around a table with a bunch of friends, and one of them says, 'Has anyone ever done 23andMe before? It's so cool — you can see other relatives who have also taken the test!' I never thought to use it to get this sort of information, so again I was curious. I reopened the app for the first time in years and clicked the 'relatives' section. Sure enough, I had a close cousin who was available to message.
I messaged her, and she was very confused. She essentially didn't believe we were related. I convinced her to have a phone call, and on the call, it all finally made sense to her. My birth mother kept her pregnancy with me a secret from the family. No one knew, and so when I told her what I knew about my birth mother, she realized that we were, in fact, related, but no one knew my birth mother ever had another kid (aka me)!
Long story short, my birth mother died when I was very young in an accident, but I learned her name for the first time. I resisted googling it and slept on it. The next day, I was sitting at work and typed her name into Google and hit images; despite there being a ton of images of different people that popped up, I knew right away which one was my birth mother. She looked so much like me, and finally after 35 years of having a made up image in my head…I saw her. Such a surreal and amazing feeling! Needless to say, I was shocked at so many of the things I learned thanks to the DNA test. Thank you, technology!"
10."I found out I had a half-sister who had been born in a small town in Switzerland! I was born and adopted in San Francisco. My birth certificate has my father as unknown. So does my half-sister's. Through genetic genealogy, we determined who he was. He was a grain dealer who worked for a subsidiary of Nestlé, which is based in Switzerland. That explains why he had fathered me in California and my half-sister is in Switzerland. His obituary also said he was a big fan of Dixieland Jazz, and there was an English band in Merzligen nine months before my half-sister was born. That he was listed as unknown on both of our birth certificates indicates that he had, at best, a one-night stand with our mothers."
11."A close friend did one of those well-known AncestryDNA tests. And the result was shocking, to say the least. It showed that he had a half-sister. But there was no way. His father had been married for decades and swore to him that he had never been unfaithful. My friend couldn’t let it rest. He went on a mission to figure out what was going on. Was it a mistake by the DNA service? Was his dad lying? He had to find out."
"...And so he tried to contact his supposed half-sister. He found out that this woman was in her 40s and living in Canada. He eventually emailed her. He was in his early 30s and lived on the East Coast. Neither of them had ever heard of the other, but she was curious and so she agreed to talk to him over the phone. As it turned out, my friend’s father had a brief relationship with a woman before he got married, and she got pregnant but hid it from him. They broke up before there were any visual signs and she never told him and then moved to Canada. For over 40 years, he had no clue he had a daughter! And he’d still have no clue if it weren't for the unlikely event that his daughter and son took a DNA test using the same service and opted to have their results compared to other people. By the way, my friend and his newly found half-sister ended up meeting each other and now have regular contact."
12."My mum was 79 when a lady who grew up in the same small town as she did made contact and started chatting with her. My mum didn't know who this person was, but it seemed that this stranger knew her. Eventually, this lady told her that they were half-sisters. They organized a DNA test, and there was shown to be a 'high probability' that they were half-sisters. AncestryDNA has also shown that I am related to my mum's half-sister. So, after 79 years, her whole ancestry has changed. The backstory, as we discovered, is that Mum's father was unable to have children while her mother really wanted one. The father of this other woman was permitted to have a child with my Nan, that child being my mother. Apparently, the other family was aware of what had happened but kept it under wraps until my mum was 79 years old when her half-sister decided to introduce herself to her."
13."A good friend of mine had quite the shock. At 70 years old and single, he found out that he actually had a child. The mother was a high school girlfriend whom he impregnated, and he never knew about the pregnancy or that she had given the child up for adoption. He met his daughter 50 years later when she did a DNA test. My friend’s brother, coincidentally, had also taken a DNA test. This is how she found her uncle and soon after, her biological father. My single friend became a great-grandfather overnight and is delighted to have this new family in his life."
14."I always thought I was Italian because of my last name, but then I found out my dad was really adopted and never told me about it (I think because of the family trauma he went through as a kid). I found out that my father's maternal grandfather escaped Nazi Germany, and I have also found a second cousin, once removed, who tells me all sorts of wild story’s from my father's side of the family. I absolutely love looking at all the old documents from newspapers like marriage announcements or draft papers, and reading articles about my family makes me feel like I know them or have a better understanding of who I am."
Do you have a story to add? What is something shocking you (or someone you know) learned by taking a DNA test? Tell us in the comments or in this anonymous form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
