Not so holly jolly: A quarter of American parents use Christmas-related threats to manage their kids’ misbehavior

A quarter of American parents reported using Christmas-related threats to discipline their misbehaving children, according to a new survey.

They may say that Santa will skip their house or threaten to take away toys or not give their kids presents this year.

Parents of children who were between the ages of three and five were most likely to say they utilize this tactic, the University of Michigan Health C.S. Mott Children’s Hospital National Poll found.

Many also threatened to leave an activity or place or to not get dessert, and nearly half of parents used bribes.

“Discipline helps young children learn what behaviors are safe and appropriate and can play a crucial role in helping them learn the difference between right and wrong,” Dr. Susan Woolford, the poll’s co-director and a pediatrician for Mott, said in a statement.

“Empty threats, however, undermine trust and credibility and aren’t usually effective. Positive reinforcement and consistent discipline are more likely to shape long term behavior.”

The survey was conducted in August and is based on 725 responses from parents with at least one child between the ages of one and five years old.

Many parents admitted they have trouble consistently disciplining their children, the report said. Nearly a quarter of parents said they may become too irritated, are too tired, or react before remembering their strategies.

“It’s important for parents to plan ahead and be on the same page with discipline strategies to provide a foundation for understanding expectations and prevent sending mixed signals about boundaries,” said Woolford.

About two-fifths of parents said their disciplining strategies worked and three in five believed they were somewhat effective.

One in eight parents say they haven’t thought about their strategies and less than a fifth have discussed discipline with a healthcare provider.

Woolford stressed that strategies should be appropriate for the child based on their age and developmental level. For children between the ages of one and two, distraction and redirection are often most effective. After age two, parents should deploy logical and immediate consequences.

“Parents should avoid the temptation to rely on tactics that might yield short-term compliance but have negative effects later on,” she said, noting that response to discipline may require parents to adapt their strategies.

An estimated 558,899 US children were the victims of abuse and neglect in 2022, according to the National Children’s Alliance.