"This Has Made Me Rethink Life": People Over 40 Are Sharing The Toughest Life Lessons They've Learned
Life has a way of teaching us lessons that only time and experience can reveal. This is why, by the time we get into our late 30s and early 40s, we can look back at challenges and setbacks that we faced in our younger years and see how they became opportunities for personal growth and how they changed our perspectives on things.
Recently, redditor Fantastic-Point6265 was interested in the life lessons older people had learned when they asked: "People who are 40 years old and over, what are the harshest life lessons you have learnt?"
The thread got over 2.8K responses. Below are the top, best, and most-often repeated life lessons people over 40 wanted to share:
1."That no matter how comfortable you feel you are financially, make sure you have savings because life can just turn around and fuck you up."
"That's for sure. A good friend passed away recently. Left behind his wife and kids. Whatever money they had is now gone because of his funeral. She's going to lose the house, the cars, her way of life because it wasn't enough.This has made me rethink life. I am not going to put my family in that position if something happens to me. He was only 34."
2."Take care of your body. You only get one."
"That's why you care for your health, even when you're younger. I was already diagnosed with high cholesterol and mild obesity at 37. My mom's side of the family has a history of early-onset heart disease. It took a while, but I was finally able to kick my ass into gear recently by eating healthier and quitting cigarettes and alcohol by 43. And forcing myself to power walk two miles a day. Too many early deaths in the family, and I'll be damned if I end up on that list."
3."There is no job security. Keep your resume up to date, and keep current personal and professional references. Trust nobody at work with any personal details or opinions. It is just a job. Work smart, not hard."
4."If you wait too long to make a choice/decision, it'll often be made for you. Defaulted decisions aren't a good way to go through life."
"Big time. That is why I no longer believe in fate. Fate is just other people making decisions for you, and you going along willingly because 'I guess it’s fate!'"
5."Take care of your mental health early on so you can be healthy and meet other healthy people. You think you're 40, and you've had your fair share of life experiences, but you haven't. They're still coming, and some hit you unexpectedly because you're not where you need to be mentally in life. Don't say, 'That'll never happen to you,' because bad people do exist, and they don't discriminate."
6."Never let a boyfriend or girlfriend influence decisions you want to make in your life. If they’re meant to be with you, they won’t hold you back or stop you from achieving your goals. If they do, move on. I gave up so many wonderful opportunities for past boyfriends that I still regret to this day."
7."Very few people actually follow through on what they say they'll do. It can be for any number of reasons, from 'I don't want to hurt their feelings' to 'I want to look good in front of others' or 'I want to please everyone,' and that's just for starters. When you find people who DO, cherish them. That's why I always post, 'Look at the person's patterns of actions, not their words, to see their true feelings.'"
8."Live in the present, not the past. The past is never coming back, no matter how much we want it to (especially with relationships)."
9."Just because you like kids doesn’t mean you should necessarily have your own. It doesn’t mean you’re cut out for parenting."
10."Sometimes the problem is you."
"And you don't get points for 'wanting to do better.' If trying hard doesn't work, sometimes you have to try differently."
11."Tomorrow is never promised. Don't ignore those phone calls or texts from loved ones when you're busy because you might not have a chance to return them later. Always tell them you love them when you say goodbye."
"I'm 41 and lost my father unexpectedly four months ago at 66. It has completely wrecked my world. He was my best friend, had just retired, and I had so many plans for the future with him. He loved his grandkids, and now all of those moments I wanted him to be present for just won't work out that way. All of the firsts for our youngest child are so bittersweet now.We take people's presence in our lives for granted so often because we're optimistic. They're a fixture in our lives, and we can't really imagine things without them. Having them suddenly removed is so shocking and traumatic, and it leaves us having to reframe our entire reality."
12."If you have a gut feeling about a particular person or situation DO NOT fight it. Follow your instincts."
13."Knowing when to say 'no.' Doing that is more important than saying 'yes.'"
"Work out what your nonnegotiables are: family, time, self-care, etc. The NOs will have more authority."
14."You can do everything right and still fail, while some people who just fucking coast through life never work a day in their lives just have everything handed to them. Life is absolutely fucking unfair, and the sooner you stop comparing yourself to people who had a 50,000-mile headstart from birth, the sooner you can ACTUALLY start to live."
15."Your partner is the most important decision you make and reversing that shit is incredibly hard. Choose wisely."
16."Don't tie your identity to your job. Don't get invested in office politics. Do your job to the best of your ability, log off, go home, and forget about work."
17."A lot of people who are successful in business and seem really friendly will absolutely fuck you at the slightest chance of making some extra money."
"Had this happened to me this year, it's heartbreaking and a harsh lesson to go through when you just try to be a good person."
18."Not everyone will like you, and that's okay. Also, to quote Schitt's Creek: 'People don’t think about you the way you think people are thinking about you.'"
You can read the original thread on Reddit.
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
