People Are Revealing Examples Of "Pretty Privilege" And "Thin Privilege," And It's A Real Thing
Reddit user Routine_Astronaut182 asked, "What's something attractive people can do, that ugly people can't?" and it's a great rundown of "pretty privilege": aka, the idea that "pretty" people have more opportunities and easier lives than people who are not "pretty."
In case you're doubtful "pretty privilege" or "thin privilege" exist, read on to hear people's examples!
1."Anyone can ask, but attractive people are so much more likely to get help from strangers. Just a sad little twisted fact of life."
"I once missed a flight to NY and I knew it before I went to the ticket kiosks. I walked right up to a worker and all I told them was that I do not have the time to catch my flight. They asked me where I was headed and walked me to a desk a few paces away. Without discussing anything further, I was being handed a ticket on a different flight landing in the same airport that starts boarding in 30 minutes."
"I am not a pretty woman, just tbh. My car battery died in a parking lot of a Starbucks and I had no phone and no way to call for a jump. I went into the Starbucks and asked for some help from several men, and they all said no, they don't have cables, and one guy just said, 'No, I don't give people jumps.' Okay, defeated. I go back to the parking lot and ask a woman (who happens to be really pretty) if she can jump me.
She says she would, but she doesn't have cables. Let's go ask in Starbucks. I let her know no one did, but she looked at me reassuringly, saying, 'Let's try.' She walks in and asks the guy who bold-faced told me he doesn't give jumps. He instantly says yes, then when he saw me behind her, he looked so unhappy. I'll never forget the feeling. Got my car jumped, though. Beautiful lady saved the day!"
2."Haggling for price reductions on anything. I seriously had a friend who got discounted gas at the gas station from the owner's son. She was hot with an annoying baby voice and played dumb even with her PhD and it almost always worked."
3.People paying for stuff for you: "Years before [my wife and I] dated, she had gone to the local casino with her friend for that friend’s birthday, and some dudes just…paid for their whole evening. Gave them money to gamble with them. No strings attached. No expectations. My wife and her friend didn’t hook up with the dudes or even so much as kiss them… just hung out while rolling thousands of dollars and the two guys said they could keep whatever they won."
"She somehow didn’t think that was uncommon for people…to just…you know…randomly ask you and your friend to help them go spend piles of money.
I replied, 'yeah, that means you’re hot. They wanted to feel like big time rollers and that they had two fine pieces of arm candy to walk the floor with like you see in casino movies.' She seemed skeptical still."
4.Or just straight-up getting given items for free: "Friend shared a story. His very attractive coworker came in to work with a new phone and tablet. The guy at the store was just so super nice that he gave her that tablet for free when upgrading her phone and even put his number in her phone if she had any problems. ... She thought this was totally normal."
5."Singer/artist. Even though looks have nothing to do with talent. Makes me wonder how many amazing voices are not being heard because the record company ... dudes don't think the artist is hot."
"Watch Susan Boyle’s performance on Britain’s Got Talent. She’s basically dismissed right away. She tries to tell a joke and the judges just roll their eyes. She says she wants to be a singer and the audience rolls their eyes. Says she wants to be as famous as Elaine Paige and the entire audience laughs at her. As if someone who they think is ugly couldn’t possibly be good at something or have an incredible talent. Then she starts singing an incredible rendition of 'I Dreamed a Dream' and everyone instantly changes their tune."
6."I think for men, interacting with children in a completely normal way. If an ugly guy tries to interact with a child they're seen as a creepy pedo."
"Divorced dad here. When my kids were very young, I would often take them to parks on weekday mornings during my visitation (my ex would never allow me in whatever house she was living in, due to distance it wasn't just weekends) to play because they usually weren't very full or overcrowded.
The first year I would often, but not always, get the stink-eye or otherwise be watched closely by other moms that were there, which was uncomfortable. I hit the gym and diet and lost over 40 pounds and gained a four-pack that winter as part of channeling my post-divorce energies into something productive. The next summer, the reactions I got taking my kids to the parks was much better. Not perfect, but noticeably more favorable."
7."Get conversation without much effort. If an unattractive person is at a venue and doesn't know anybody it can be a lonely experience. If you are attractive, people will try to make conversation with you all the time. I know plenty of attractive people who are not at all interesting but have tons of friends because everyone wants a good-looking person around them."
"I was overweight for most of my life until I got cancer and lost about 90 pounds. I never had the experience of being chatted up by a stranger, in general not just in a flirty way, though I went to bars alone often (was a big fan of dive bars with live music). After I went into remission, I started trying to live my life again. The very first thing I noticed is how much strangers suddenly wanted to talk to me.
It actually made me nervous at first. I almost thought people were mocking me because it was just such a switch-flip. Nothing about me other than my weight changed. My personality and sense of style didn't change. I'm skinnier, but knowing what I looked like before, I also look more sickly. It's not like I got hot, I just got thin.
Meanwhile, one of my closest best friends was always skinny — she started taking antidepressants and gained weight, and she had the exact opposite experience I did. Suddenly nobody wanted to talk to her. Before, when we went to bars together she'd get hit on and I'd get ignored. Now it's the opposite. It all strikes me as very unfair. She wasn't just skinnier than me; she's also more sociable and way funnier, but it doesn't matter because I almost died and that made my body smaller, and apparently that's more valuable somehow.
I guess i should be glad that people want to talk to me now, but there's something humiliating about knowing people are only doing so because the worst experience in your life made an arbitrary physical change to your body."
8."Complain. When I was thinner and good-looking, if there was any kind of issue at a store or restaurant or whatever, I could gently mention something. Now ... I could be as sweet as pie and just try to say something as innocuous as 'you charged me twice for this cereal. I’m so sorry. Maybe it was my mistake...' and say all the sweetest things to soften the blow of me and my 'complaints' and I’m immediately a Karen."
9."Get good tips as a waitress/waiter without REALLY trying."
"I'm a male server. And I'm actually decent looking myself. I've been serving for 20 years and I'm damn good at it. I work really hard, connect with people, charm them, and consistently get massive compliments and positive reviews. I make the same amount of tips as my co-worker who is a model and is an absolutely rubbish server."
"I had a friend for a while who was completely oblivious to this fact (she was an attractive waitress/bartender). And her entire world effectively revolved around 'if you work hard you will make out really well'. So if someone was complaining about tips being bad, well they didn't work hard. If someone was complaining about how it was to get a good job making enough to live on...well, you didn't work hard enough. She could walk into work and pull in $300 in under the table tips each night. In the middle of the week. She said one guy would regulatory give her a $100 tip and offer to take her on trips...Had no idea that others didn't have it as easy."
10."Getting hired is a HUGE one no one talks about."
"I had a group partner for a marketing class in college...Guy looks like an Abercrombie model...all of the material he submitted was at a 5th-grade level. I'm talking about mixing up 'are' and 'our.' I found him on LinkedIn and there were a couple of companies who hired that dumb bell."
11.And also..."Getting hired and then not doing work. My coworker disappeared from work for a couple hours recently, turned out he went shopping and didn't say anything. But people fawn over him and let him get away with murder because 'he's so cool, and you can't be mad at a guy like that.'"
12.Or otherwise making mistakes, and people at their job not caring. "My friend got yelled at at her job for sending a shipment of mail to the wrong zip code. When she explained that it wasn't her, but her pretty coworker Vanessa that did it, the supervisor's mood immediately changed, and said, 'oh, she must have just not known.' Infuriating."
13.And also..."Getting noticed quickly and hence promotions quickly — I've realized its easier to climb the corporate ladder being attractive and lazy than ugly and hardworking."
"When I was younger, I was a pretty attractive guy and after a series of serious injuries, I'm extremely overweight and walk with a limp.
Employment perks are the biggest difference imo. Before I gained weight, I was promoted at every job I've ever held and I had a bunch of "mentors" above me that were constantly assisting me in climbing the ladder higher.
After I had a spinal injury, I had to find a new job after a long time out of the workforce and the only places that would hire me are entry level warehouse/factory jobs. Despite the fact I'm pretty weak, the fact that I'm big and tall means I'm only qualified for manual labor. I've been at the factory I currently work at for three years and I've been passed up without consideration for any promotion I've applied for."
14."Pretty" people also have an easy time getting into positions of power, even if they're underqualified. "I distinctly remember the first time [my dad] showed up for PTA meeting. ... My classmate said, 'Is that your dad? Can I be his wife?' Literal fourteen year old trying to throw herself to an old man. He simply walked into the meeting and immediately voted as chairman. He later kept getting reelected until my youngest brother left school. I heard the entire board audibly gasped when he announced he couldn't be there anymore. My dad literally did nothing under his reign except showed up for meetings."
15."Be eccentric. Attractive person has weird interests, mannerisms, or hobbies? 'Oh, they're quirky!' Ugly person does it: 'Are they unbalanced?'"
"I (M) went to a party and there was this really hot girl (already cuffed so I was just being friendly) and after a few drinks and balling up, someone mentions that she’d really like me because I like anime (I keep it quiet cuz it used to be social suicide growing up) and she goes full weeb. I like talking anime but she started imitating characters (like yelling 'Sasuke!' as Naruto) and it baffled me that it’s seen as quirky but if anyone else does it, they’re never invited to the party again."
"If you're ugly and into anime you're a 'weirdo freak.' But if you're hot and into Anime: 'OMG you like anime? That's so cool, you're so artsy and edgy.'"
16."Dressing bad. Attractive people can wear literal rags and look good. Ugly people have to dress to the nines just to have a chance."
"I have a friend who legit absurdly attractive. 6’3”, ripped, war vet. When we were in our 20s I remember being out at the bar with him. He was so drunk he could barely stand, was wearing dirty clothes that he mowed the lawn with that day, yet had a literal line of women waiting to talk to him."
17."Always having dating options. Not actively seeking out potential partners. Potential partners seek them out."
"I remember once speaking to a model friend of a friend at a party. Like a 10/10 beautiful girl. She was complaining cause her dating life was 'a bit slow' recently and she didn't understand what she was doing wrong. It turns out there were 'only' about five or six guys actively courting her at that time. Five or six dudes were literally texting, or calling her to hang out and she just wasn't into any of them, so that meant her dating life was bad. I tried to explain to her that when a regular person's dating life was bad, it meant NOBODY was calling or texting. Literally nobody. She truly did not understand how that was possible. I also told her that I once didn't have sex for a whole year cause I couldn't find anyone who would go out with me and she literally gasped and covered her mouth in shock like she's witnessed a murder. I gave her a shrug and the 'it's just another Tuesday for me' look."
"I know a guy in this twenties. He's very traditionally good looking, in good physical shape, and has a personality that's like a playful dumb puppy. Women trip over themselves to get with him. Despite the fact that he keeps cheating on his girlfriends and even fucked his brother's wife while the brother was deployed in the military. Also, he's also something of a loser because he blows all his money, avoids as much responsibility as possible, and can't even be bothered to buy a shitty beater car. But, regardless, he has a constant line of very attractive women all ready to get with him because of his looks and charm."
18.And more specifically, let's face it...more access to sex.
"I once had a colleague who was Ronaldo/Robbie Williams type good looking. A girl showed up to our house for him, but he was already in his room with another girl, we told her expecting her to be upset but she said, 'I know, I'll wait with you until they're done.'"
"A girl just drove three hours to fuck my roommate. They never really spoke or met before this. Blew my mind."
19."Flirt without cringe backlash."
"I was going to say this; flirting in general is just seen as charming and playful whether the person is in to it or not."
20."Or give a genuine compliment without backlash, you don't even have to be flirting. 'Hey, I like your boots.' 'Who the fuck asked you?'"
"Just graduated high school this month, anyway I overheard a conversation in my English class earlier in the year. This girl has been at a concert and had been complimented by some random dude there. I heard her say, 'it was almost a compliment, except he was ugly so it wasn't.'"
21."In my experience, just taking a photo or video themselves. If you took the most hideous man in the world and posted a photo of him reading a book in the park, the comments would be filled with just vicious insults about how ugly and stupid he is, that he should go back inside, whatever. If you took Henry Cavill and dressed him in the same clothes, with the same book, in the same location, all the comments would be different. There's so many instances out there of people just attacking random-ass photos of ugly people just for living their lives while being ugly."
22."Get away with things. Once I realized I purchased the wrong type of ticket for a train along with another dude in front of me in the line. He got away with it, I got a fine. A few days ago I saw a staff warning a lady in mini skirt that she’s not allowed to bring a beer can to the tube, but then he said 'go ahead' and allowed her to get away with it. I used to be the one getting away with things when I was younger and prettier now that I realize that I don’t have that sort of privilege anymore."
"I was attractive once. I could get away with anything. Literally. I shoplifted from a store once and a lady officer saw me, followed me outside, questioned me, we bullshitted for a while. I joked that I was terrible at crime. She laughed and let me go with a warning."
"I dated a girl that was a nine easily. She actually had very little idea about her life being unusual. To her, it's normal to get free everything. She could go anywhere with zero problems. Police often didn't give her tickets. She loved to speed and litter! Seriously, we once got pulled over three times in one day. No ticket."
23.People will just be straight-up nicer to you. "I work for my local university, so I'm in a few university Facebook groups. One girl once made a post about how nice everyone was to her since she got to campus and how everyone was going way out of their way to be friendly to her. I clicked on her profile and she basically looked like a model. She definitely had a different experience than I did in school."
"It was so weird, people in my town got way nicer after I lost 80 lbs. Surely just a coincidence. I still hold my arm out to catch the closing door. Men hold it open for me now but this changed even faster than my muscle memory."
24.And finally, just overall..."Coast through life with very little effort. I say this as a six foot tall, handsome, white, straight man who has put in very, very little effort to get ahead and now has more net worth than my 70-year-old parents who scrimped and saved their whole lives."
"My sister was voted most attractive in a huge high school in CA. She went into sales, and made her first million. She then parlayed that into her own company. So many doors were opened to her since childhood because of the way she looked."
What are examples of "pretty privilege" or "thin privilege" you've seen IRL? Let us know in the comments!
Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.
