People Are Sharing Their Family's Reaction To Them Getting Divorced, And I'm Shocked At How Many Of These Went Well
I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to tell me their family's reaction to the news of you getting a divorce. Here are some of the shared reactions:
1."My parents were more supportive than I could have imagined. They obviously weren't happy that I was hurt, but they were so glad I finally unshackled myself from a man who had done nothing but hold me back. My parents and I haven't always had the best relationship, but they truly stepped up and comforted me that as one relationship died, another got a chance to grow."
2."I had a son who had Down Syndrome and autism, the light of my life. When I told my mom that I was getting a divorce, she said, 'Who is ever going to want you?!.' I responded, 'I don’t care!' After my husband and I split (he was a raging alcoholic), my parents didn’t speak with me for over a year. It was a bad time."
3."Mine said, 'It's about damn time!' when I filed for divorce 😆."
4."I got the same reaction when I told them I was getting married. They said, 'OK. Cool. 👍'"
5."My family was very happy for me! They knew how I had suffered during my marriage — so much mental health damage! I was finally free to live in more peace and quiet! No more awful raging in my home. I finally wasn't connected to my former spouse in dire financial circumstances! I'm poor but so much happier! I stayed married for years to protect my young children from severe mental abuse; they were affected anyway."
"If I was in the home, he'd stay away longer. I couldn't leave them alone with him; joint custody would have been even more damaging. They will always struggle with having an out-of-control father and a terrible role model in their lives. He became a very different person than the man I married! If I'd only known..."
6."My father and stepmom were supportive. They knew it was a hard decision and not one I took lightly. My mother and stepdad, on the other hand, blamed me 100%. I shouldn't have done x or should have done y. My mother hides behind her 'faith' to say that divorce is wrong and all of that; though she was divorced (her choice) from my dad, she was *young* though, so for some reason that changes things."
7."My mother said she was ashamed that I left my husband and abandoned my kids (who were going to join me once I got settled) and that she couldn’t show her face in the FL city where she lived. Mind you, I have never been there and know no one."
8."My parents were relieved, thankful, and completely supportive. Although they never said anything or interfered in my marriage, I know they were always hoping my husband and I would separate. Their only concern was for my and their grandchildren's safety, as my husband could be violent."
9."My dad immediately went to the bank, opened a new account in his name, handed me the bank card and pin, and told me to stash as much money as I could in it...so I guess he was pretty on board with me not being the cash machine any longer."
10."My ex and I were never married but were together for almost two decades; when I left him, my Mom would tell people:"
"'She finally left him''How’s she holding up?''I don’t know, I have to wait for her to stop celebrating before I can ask her!' 😂
Love you, Mom 🥰"
11."My family at first were not supportive at all — in fact, they'd been wrapped around my ex's finger and believed I was a terrible spouse. However, once I told them the extent of the physical, emotional, and sexual abuse I'd been subjected to, they apologized and started to help me."
12."They jumped for joy. They had wanted me to get a divorce for years. Years prior, they offered to pay for the divorce and provide me with some money to move out and get my own place. I should've taken the original offer, but I decided to try and work it out."
13."My uber-conservative parents held a secret meeting with my brother and sister-in-law to discuss ways to talk me into returning to my emotionally abusive (now ex) husband. My father, who is a retired pastor, was physically and emotionally abusive and had multiple affairs. I reasoned that if my mother managed to put up with/stay with him, I should be able to make it work with the ex. My brother and sister-in-law told my father (he was the one mostly leading this discussion) in no short terms that I made the best decision for myself and my daughter."
—Anonymous, 46
14."My family wasn't surprised at all. They were incredibly relieved and proud of me for not sticking around and trying to make it work for appearances' sake. I live in the South, and society can still be a little judgmental of divorced young women. I got married at 28, and we had only been together for 14 months before getting married. Before getting married, my ex-husband was a gentleman and extremely generous and kind. Our wedding was gorgeous, and it was even featured in a magazine. However, at the wedding, my ex ended up doing drugs and blacking out, which I didn't know at the time."
"Things changed very quickly from then on. He ended up being emotionally abusive, having addiction problems to substances ranging from porn to alcohol and drugs, and lost two jobs in our year-and-a-half marriage. He also got fake numbers and tried to isolate me from friends and family. I still consider myself lucky I got out of that relationship without children, shared debt, or owning a home together."
—Anonymous, 33
15."I called my mom to tell her first, and I started the conversation with, "I know none of you liked him to begin with, and I don't want any comments or snark from anyone; I don't care if it's my own Grandmother. But we're getting divorced, and eventually, I'll tell you more when I can." To say they were happy was an understatement; they never liked him (because of his skin color), and I'm sure they talked to each other incessantly, but I stopped myself from having to hear the comments."
—Anonymous, 29
16."I called my Dad in tears, and his response was, 'Oh? History repeating itself.' My husband had been cheating on me, and he had blindsided me by telling me he was moving out that same night. He ended up marrying the other woman. My Dad did the same thing to my Mom 36 years earlier. Thanks for the talk, Dad."
—Anonymous, 39
17."My ex called my mom and brothers before I could. He made sure he destroyed my relationship with the little family I had by making sure that he had, up until this point, ignored and deemed not as important as his family. He told them all about my affair, which I own. What he didn’t tell them about was his own affair and the verbal, emotional, financial, and sometimes physical abuse that I went through. I thought if I had an affair and got caught, he would finally let go. He didn’t. He’s continued to make my life a living hell, and they’ve supported him. Thank God for my girlfriends and their husbands who got me out."
—Anonymous, 44
18."My mother struggled with it for a long time. She was worried that I would no longer have a man to take care of me, which surprised me because I thought of my mother as independent-minded. But I guess I didn't realize how sheltered she had really become in her marriage to my stepfather. She earned the right to it, though — my father was abusive, mentally and physically. I was also surprised because they didn't want me to marry my ex in the first place. They wanted me to stay single and independent. But that was over 20 years ago.
"The hardest part to get through to her, though, was that only the marriage was ending, and I still had his support. Over the years, my ex and I became more like brothers and sisters. I wanted more in a partnership, so I chose to end the marriage. But he and I did not end our love and affection for each other. We are successfully co-parenting our 11-year-old son and still enjoy each other's company. Next summer, we will all be relocating to a new state together. We will continue maintaining our own households but are determined to remain a family. Any new man in my life, the right man, will need to respect this and become part of that family. For various reasons, I recently ended a relationship with a man who respected my choices, which was extremely gratifying. Oh, and my mom finally came around — after we proved that she didn't have to 'lose her son-in-law.' And now she's excited about me dating!"
—Anonymous, 52
19."I also have a non-supportive mother. She told me I should’ve stayed with my abusive ex (he was military) because of the benefits. Then she went on to tell me how her father used to hit her mother, that it’s normal when you’re married, and that God made him pass early so her mother could enjoy the rest of her life in peace... Needless to say, I recently went no contact with my mother due to other things on top of that."
20."They wanted to know why, and I couldn't really give them a good answer other than 'we just didn't work out.' I think they suspect that it's my fault on some level. I guess it is, in some respects, but it takes two to tango."
21."My family: 'Hallelujah!' His family: 'God will smite you, and you will burn in hell.'"
—Anonymous, 63 (36 at time of divorce)
H/T to r/Divorce.
How did your family react to the news of divorce? Comment below!
