"My First Match Was My Ex": 19 Dating App Horror Stories That'll Make You Want To Throw Your Phone Across The Room
To swipe left or swipe right? That's always the question that comes to mind when a potential match pops up on a dating app. I recently asked the BuzzFeed Community to vent about their dating app horror stories. Here are their cautionary tales:
Note: Some submissions are from this post, this post, and this Reddit thread.
Warning: This post contains mentions of abuse.
1."Are you ready for this one? I matched with my therapist on a dating app and didn't realize until our first date. Needless to say, it was a very awkward session the following week."
2."I knew this guy was a bit older than me (I was around 21 at the time), but it was fine. We went with his dog around town and had an interesting chat about everything. It was a nice evening, and all was good until he pointed and said, 'Ah look. My wife is over there.' Like, what? What wife?"
"But instead of asking him, or jumping into the nearest bush or whatever, I stood there as she crossed the street and said, 'Hi, nice to meet you. I've heard so much about you.' I was so stunned by the fact that I didn't know he had a wife. I ended up eating dinner with them until I came to my senses and awkwardly left."
3."I matched with a guy who seemed OK. I read his profile and there was nothing that stuck out as a red flag. However, his first message to me was, 'I can tell a woman's bra size just by looking at a photo.' Then, he said what mine was. He was completely wrong and I blocked him."
4."Went through a bad breakup, got on eHarmony a few months later, and my first match was my ex."
5."I met this guy on the apps and he seemed nice enough. Our first date was at an arcade. Cool, I love games. Flash forward 20 minutes, we get our game cards and start walking around. We're talking and I'm telling him stories and the only response he would give was, 'That's facts.' Then he started playing this fishing game for 45 minutes and didn't even talk to me."
"At the end of the night, he walked me to my car. The mall the arcade was in was closed so the doors were locked after we'd left. Mind you, his car was in an entirely other parking lot, and I appreciate the kind gesture of walking me to my car but it was also pouring rain. We got to my car, said our goodbyes, and he asked for a hug. I thought this was fine. Nope. As soon as I came in for a hug, he went in for a kiss, and I SWERVED and hugged him and then said, 'OK, this was fun. I'll text you later.' I got in my car and left."
6."I had pictures posted on my Yahoo Personals profile about 16 years ago. He asked me for a selfie before our date that night. I didn't want to because I worked in a steel shop and wanted to shower first. He insisted, so I did. He said I looked nothing like my profile. He then canceled the date saying his mother had fallen. Whatever."
"Two weeks later, he texted out of the blue after I'd deleted his number. He proceeded to ask me for 'consensual sex.' When I said no, he told me the classic, 'You can't handle what I've got.' Whatever. He then called me ugly. When I asked why he wanted to have sex with me if I was ugly, he didn't have an answer."
7."I went on a date with someone I met on a dating app. We made a date to meet at Panera for coffee. I don't eat at Panera, so I asked him what kind of coffee he recommended, and he asked if I would be OK with getting breakfast there and going back to his house for coffee. He said he needed help writing a cover letter for jobs, which I didn't mind helping with."
"When we get to his place, he makes the coffee and then sits at his computer and applies for jobs! I was so bored I texted my friend and asked her to call me and make up an excuse to get me out."
8."I matched with a cool, nice-looking guy, and we hit it off. We had a lot of similar interests and we had a great conversation. After talking pretty much nonstop for an entire day, he drops the bomb — he's in a relationship. I was devastated."
"He had the gall to be all sad puppy dog-like and say, 'Well, I guess you're not interested in me anymore.' No, I'm not interested anymore. What the hell are you doing on a dating app if you're in a relationship? Just grow a pair and break up already. I'm not about to be a homewrecker."
9."My daughter went on a date with a guy she met on a dating app. During dessert, he started talking about his ex. He went from ranting and raving about what a horrible person she was to full-on crying about how much he missed her. When my daughter asked how long they'd been together, he said three weeks. Then he immediately dried his tears and asked if they could at least sleep together, for 'sympathy.'"
10."I met up with a guy from the apps, and it seemed to be going OK. We went back to his apartment for drinks, and he excused himself for a moment. Then, he returned to the living room naked. Full-on naked. I ran back to my car and met up with a friend at a bar. I ended up meeting the guy I've been with for the past five years from running out of that apartment and meeting up with my friend, so it didn't end all bad."
11."I'm a lesbian for context. On a dating app, I agreed to be someone's Valentine because they seemed interested in me. Fast forward a few days, and I hit it off with a girl I like on a different app. After about a week into the talking phase, I realized that the person from the first app was her ex!"
12."I matched with a guy who proceeded to point out I was fat. The guy just matched with everyone just to roast them. Bastard."
13."I was talking to a guy once, and it was going well until he confessed to me that he was expecting a baby with his ex, and he needed me to be OK with that, which I was not. I didn't know him, so to take on such a responsibility so early in a potential relationship was not going to work for me. I wished him the best and moved on."
"Plot twist: my now-husband was expecting a child with his ex when we started dating. I didn't find out until a month before she was born! We have been together for eight years, married almost four, and his little girl is my princess!"
14."A guy came over to watch a movie and we ended up in the bedroom. I went to the bathroom to do my post-sex pee. He asked through the door where the glasses were, so I told him. I came out, and he had vanished. I went to message him, but he deleted and blocked me on Tinder and Snapchat. He wasn't that great anyway, so I shrugged and went to bed."
15."I matched with a guy and he said he didn't want a girlfriend at the moment, and I was cool with it. We planned to have a lunch date to meet. He was at work and wanted to skip but needed a doctor's note, so he went to the dentist and stood me up. A couple of days later, he apologized and explained to me he didn't plan it well. I listened and gave him a second chance. We made plans to grab dinner but he stood me up again with no explanation. A couple of days later, he offered to buy me an Uber and go to his place. I declined for safety reasons, and because he stood me up twice. I explained to him that I couldn't trust his word. Fast forward three hours, and he is not taking no for an answer. He's convincing me to come over to his place. When he finally figured out that wouldn't work, he started calling me profanities and insulting me."
"He bombarded my phone to the point I couldn't use it (i.e. calling, texting, Facebook messaging me, and sending messages on Tinder). This lasted all night from 9 p.m. to 8 a.m. I turned my phone off so I could sleep. I turned my phone on to find hundreds of messages just calling me names, voicemails of threats, and name-calling. His last text was an apology for his outbursts, saying he wanted to see me. I blocked him on Facebook, blocked his phone number, and reported him on Tinder for abusive behavior. Fast forward a month, and I was going on a date with my now-partner, and this guy called me from a new number. He explained he had changed phone numbers so he could call me. He did this twice!It was the most unhinged match I ever had. He was terrifying."
16."I took a girl out to dinner and a movie. We had a great time at dinner and I paid for her and everything. Well, at the movies she gets up to 'go to the bathroom' during the previews. About 10 minutes later I checked my phone to see if she messaged me to find out that I was blocked. I don't want to be with someone who lets looks (I presume) be a dealbreaker, but still, that hurt."
17."I had a message from a guy on a dating app so I replied then jumped in the shower. I returned 10 minutes later to multiple messages, the last one calling me rude for not immediately replying. For some reason, I continued to give this guy the time of day for a couple more messages. Then, he wanted to meet up that day. I said I already had plans, as I was going to see my new baby nephew for the first time. He replied, 'Not all day, you're not,' then proceeded to call me lazy and hurl abuse at me. I reported him and deleted the app."
18."A guy showed up to our date with his mom, not even kidding. He wanted her opinion since 'she knows best.' They proceeded to interview me about my cooking skills, family values, and whether I'd be willing to move in with them. Blocked him before I even got home."
19.And finally, "I met this girl eight years ago and it was the worst. Fast forward to today and she's moved into my house and insists we share a bed and I call her wife. She even forces me to wear a ring on my finger. Definitely never getting on another dating app."
Do you have a dating app horror story? Share yours in the comments!
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
