People Are Sharing Their Unhinged, Absolutely NSFW Work Stories, And I'm Reading In Horror
Sometimes, workplaces are farrrrr from professional. As a matter of fact, a lot of "not safe for work," or NSFW, stuff happens while people are on the clock. With this in mind, redditor u/JustSarahtheMechanic recently asked the r/AskReddit community, "What's the most (nonsexual) NSFW thing that's happened to you or a coworker while at work?" The responses were shocking — and pretty gross — to say the least. Here's what people revealed:
1."I worked retail in college, and someone peed in a dressing room. They used the dress they tried on to wipe it up, then they hung the dress back up and left it there."
2."One of my coworkers went into labor at my office job. They had to clear a conference room and got her on the table to be checked by one of my managers, who also happened to be a nurse. The ambulance got there before she gave birth, thankfully. But it was extremely awkward to have the entire office basically trying to pretend nothing was going on and peeking over the walls to see if anything else was happening. It was pretty stressful for all of us, but I was glad it turned out okay. She was a temp worker and got into an altercation later on and was let go, but she left us with that bit of drama to remember her by."
3."I work as a legal advisor for a porn company. Occasionally, I will go to a shooting location to see if it's a safe workplace. One time, I visited a shooting location and went to see if the bed was structurally sound. I barely sat on it before the whole thing collapsed. I bruised my knee badly and couldn't walk properly for a few weeks. I can only imagine what would've happened during filming."
4."I cursed out the last ramp agent who serviced the lavatory on one of our jets. Somehow, this 'genius' managed to screw up to the point where the lavatory dumped while in-flight, covering the entire empennage (and lavatory service panel) of a Phenom 300 private jet in human feces. Guess whose job it was to clean all of that up? By hand! The airport wouldn't let us take it outside to simply pressure wash it off. Guess how many F-bombs were directed towards that guy?"
5."My buddy and I worked the third shift at a fast food restaurant in a small Midwest town the summer we turned 18. Things always got interesting around the time nearby bars closed. One night, two drunk guys in their 40s came in with no money and were hungry. One of them told us he was an amazing high school athlete and could easily hurdle the counter. We were interested, so we offered free burgers if he could clear the counter. The guys got maybe two feet in the air, flipped, and went headfirst into the back counter. He got up, bloody, and yelled, 'Nailed it.' We were amused, so we gave them burgers, and they left. I think about that guy from time to time."
6."I worked at a kid's play place. Someone shit on the slide, and it trickled down. My coworker and I played 'rock, paper, scissors' to see who had to clean it. I won, and while he was cleaning it, he slid down the slide, and all the shit got on his back."
7."I used to manage a local Dunkin' Donuts overnight shift for two years, and I have a bunch of stories, but the craziest thing was that I would keep finding massive amounts of blood and rotten teeth in the men's room. It would force me to close the lobby, bleach the whole thing, and shut down the bathroom for a few hours. It was super annoying. This started happening about once a week. I was on Facebook one day when I came across this guy who called himself the 'street dentist.' Suddenly, it finally clicked. This guy had people who couldn't afford dental meet him at my store, and he would yank their teeth for a small fee."
"So, I told my shift partner the next night, and we planned to watch for him since we couldn't lock the door (the store itself didn't have a key). A few days later, this guy in his 40s and a young guy in his 20s walked in and sat down, and we watched them go into the bathroom. My coworker held the door shut, and we called the police. They arrested the dude, and we called the kid an ambulance because he couldn't stop bleeding. The guy was using a spoon and a dirty set of plyers to rip the teeth out."
8."I used to work as a housekeeper. One night, a guy checked in and completely destroyed one of our hotel rooms by shitting literally everywhere. The beds, the couch, the chairs, the table, all over the carpet…EVERYWHERE. Luckily, my boss was competent and knew it was a literal biohazard, so he needed to bring in other people to clean it. He played a little joke on me by showing me the pictures of the room and telling me, 'Good luck. I know you're strong.' LOL."
9."A lady came in with 8x12 blown-up copies of nudes that one of our sales guys texted to her. She gave one to the sales managers, and one of the sales guys ran after her to ask for the other one, then shared it with the whole sales team."
10."I used to work at a gas station. Usually, it wasn't too bad, but sometimes people really wrecked the bathroom. I still haven't quite figured out how this guy managed to get poop all over the walls. Was it explosive diarrhea, or did he use his hands? I'll never know. I want to say there was some on the ceiling, but it's been long enough that I'm not confident about that part."
11."I got run over by a Ford F150 at work. I broke eight ribs, had my skull banged off the pavement, suffered from internal bleeding (my liver and kidney were lacerated), and one of my lungs collapsed. I worked at a gas station and set out several safety cones to block off the area I was working in. I was also wearing a bright yellow safety jacket. I was crouching down to dry some water left in the spill bucket from the rain where the gas trucks hook up to refill the station (our gas station was poorly built), and the woman in the truck NEVER saw the cones, apparently. She just peeled out from her pump and ran me over, stopped, then reversed over me. She didn't stop until a bunch of customers came over screaming, 'Stop, stop! You're killing someone!'"
"She claimed she thought she ran over a safety cone, which was in direct contrast to her saying she didn't see anything, but whatever. She wasn't charged, but I won $500,000 in the lawsuit. A lot of customers were traumatized that day."
12."This was about two years ago. I was working the front desk of a hotel. A guy had several suites under his name; young guys would come and go from them daily. One day, this man's reservation ended, and before he booked another one to stay over, the housekeeper went into his room since it showed up in the system as vacant. The housekeeper found poppers, sex toys, guns, coke, crack, weed, pipes, and needles. I had to put it all in bags and ban him."
13."Had a coworker get his leg caught between his standup forklift and a concrete wall. He hit the wall, his equipment locked up, and he couldn't reach the keypad to make an emergency move. It was a holiday weekend, so only a volunteer skeleton crew was working. He was in the back of the warehouse, and his cell had no service; he was in the freezer at -5 degrees Fahrenheit. Three hours later, the other guys found him when he didn't show up for break time. He survived and still has his leg, but now that company requires all equipment operators to carry a radio and use a buddy system, so if one guy leaves to warm up, so does the other guy. Absolutely no one can be alone in the freezers."
14."In our office, the lack of soundproofing has turned everyday trips to the restroom into a public broadcast of unintentional comedy. Every flush and fizz is amplified, echoing off the walls and into our workspace, where everyone becomes an unwitting audience to these symphonies of nature. The sounds of someone releasing their pent-up stress or the cascading waterfall of a flush are met with a mixture of stifled giggles and empathetic cringes. We share knowing glances, a silent communion in the face of awkward acoustics, creating a strange sense of camaraderie. After all, when nature calls with such clarity, who can keep a straight face?"
15."There was once a grown man who used the family restroom at the theater I worked in. All the employees used this specific restroom because it was closest to the management office and the concessions, where we all worked. My manager was the first person to enter the bathroom after this guy and was greeted with a one-foot-tall mound of shit in the middle of the bathroom floor. Later, we went back on all the cameras to find the culprit and watched as he entered the bathroom, defiled it, walked out, got tickets, watched a movie, and left. All while we ran around in chaos about the supersized shit he left for us."
16."There was a guy who peed in the changing rooms in one of the retail stores and filled a bottle with his urine, then sprinkled it everywhere. It was a nightmare."
17."A guy came in and asked to use our work toilet; it was a retail job at a very small business. I said yeah, as he looked desperate, and I felt bad for him. This guy shit everywhere in the toilet and rubbed it into the walls as well. Everything was covered in shit. It was like a horror movie, and it smelled so bad — worse than you can imagine. It was an absolute nightmare, and I felt obligated to clean it as I let him use it. Never again."
18."I was fueling up a truck when the hose near the handle blew up in my face. I couldn't see anything to hit the fuel shutoff on the pump, so when I dropped the hose, it was like a sprinkler. Diesel fuel went everywhere. I was soaked. One of the other drivers basically grabbed my hand and shoulder and marched me inside the terminal downstairs to where the showers were, then launched me inside and started the water. He got me a spare set of clothes from his truck to change into. But yeah, being completely showered in diesel head to toe is not safe for work."
19."A supervisor thought someone was shoplifting, followed the shoplifter into the bathroom, then the supervisor popped his head over the stall and yelled 'busted!' at a guy who was pooping."
20."During the height of the pandemic, a customer was upset about how long it took to deliver his pizzas. So, he decided to drive to the store the next day and cough directly into my face. Thankfully, I didn't catch anything, but he was banned, and my boss had his number disabled for the company entirely. Sadly, no police action."
21."Someone had diarrhea and left a trail along the hallway to the women's bathroom. Luckily, my job wasn't maintenance."
22."This is from when I worked at an upscale adult store. The bachelorette parties loved to stop by while they were out on the town, and one group came by late one evening. They must’ve been drunk and had Mexican food for dinner. We kept our bathrooms locked, and you had to get a staff member for the key, so one of them threw up guacamole-colored puke all in the water fountain."
23."This guy came into an interview wearing overalls, clogged the toilet, and then just ran out before it was his turn to interview."
24.And: "I used to work in retail. Someone didn't make it to the bathroom in time, and we found a pile of shit on the carpeted floors. They used clothing we sold to wipe themselves. They then went to the restroom and went to the bathroom on the floor some more. They wrapped it in toilet paper and left it in the corner."
Well, that was disgusting. So. Much. Poop. What the heck is going on with people?! Anyway, if you have a wild NSFW work story you'd like to share with us, tell us in the comments or submit your story anonymously using this form.
Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.
