Pomp and circumstance: Are we taking too many steps down graduation paths these days?
I’ve got what I’m sure is going to be an unpopular opinion. But honestly that’s my favorite kind of opinion. Also — is it even an opinion if people don’t disagree with it? As in, would the absence of argument render an opinion a fact?
Well, yay for me because I’ve just given myself a headache with that deep thought, so let’s just move on to my current unpopular opinion which is (drum roll please) that there are way too many graduation ceremonies. As in, the popularization of graduation ceremonies for almost grade level has cheapened the commencement ceremony experience.
Back in the day (which has become my favorite day), one experienced only two graduations in life: high school and college. Now it’s a graduation palooza.
As a parent, you can count on your child having a preschool graduation, kindergarten, end of elementary school and middle school commencements along with the high school graduation. In some schools, every grade level has a grad event.
When I had the opportunity to bemoan the graduation proliferation to a group of strangers, their responses were interesting. The reason I took an opinion test drive on people I didn’t know instead of family or friends is that I’m all about having an unbiased data set.
OK, not really. The real reason is because friends, and most definitely my family, quit listening to me a long time ago. So, I guess what I’m saying is I needed people who had no preconceived notions that I’m crazy.
The most probing question I was asked after I shared my graduation opinion was, what commencement ceremonies did I think should be cut?
My knee-jerk reaction was to be a curmudgeon and say all of them except high school. But then I remembered my son’s kindergarten graduation and to this day it was one of the cutest things I’ve ever witnessed.
All the kids had on cherry red graduation robes with mortar boards delightfully askew on their heads and they were beyond adorable.
So, since there’s nothing adorable about middle school, maybe that should be cut — and elementary school graduation should perhaps be downgraded to a picnic.
Based on my history with elementary school graduation, I knew this statement might rile up some people. When one of my children was in sixth grade, a group of parents started a petition to have a graduation and got almost every mom in the grade to sign it. I even caved to the peer pressure, even though I was firmly, albeit secretly, opposed.
These petition-wielding moms were fierce and I was a little scared of the retaliation headed my way if I didn’t acquiesce to their demands. Forget about being shunned: I can handle that. It’s kind of my go-to lifestyle. I was more worried about my car getting keyed.
Fortunately, the principal of the school remained valiant and there was no graduation. The fact that he was transferred to another school soon after wasn’t a coincidence. These moms got their retribution.
Another question that was thrown at me was why do I care about graduation ceremonies, since my children were adults? I explained that things that no longer personally affect me can still annoy me. This prompted someone to say I needed to get a life.
Sure, I could have argued that statement but it would have been a wasted effort.
Because it’s hard for a lot of people to understand that being annoyed can be energizing and even encourages profound thinking. Like: Can an uncontested opinion morph into a fact? And just why does a third-grader need a graduation ceremony?
Reach Sherry Kuehl at snarkyinthesuburbs@gmail.com, on Facebook at Snarky in the Suburbs, on Twitter at @snarkynsuburbs on Instagram @snarky.in.the.suburbs, and snarkyinthesuburbs.com.
