This is how many relationships it takes before you find 'The One'

Going through a few relationships before you find the right person to settle down with is something most people can relate to. (Getty Images)
Going through a few relationships before you find the right person to settle down with is something most people can relate to. (Getty Images)

In the dating game, there is a popular saying that goes: “You have to kiss a lot of frogs before you find your prince (or princess).” A new survey has revealed the exact number of frogs you might have to kiss before finding the right person to settle down with.

It takes precisely 3.7 relationships before you find ‘The One’, according to research by lingerie brand Pour Moi. In a survey with more than 2,000 participants in relationships, the company found that, on average, people go through 3.7 partners before finding their true love.

However, the research also revealed that more than one in four (26%) have to kiss a few more frogs - going through nearly eight relationships before they find their person.

A separate study found that Gen Z singletons are more likely to worry about settling for the wrong person compared to the generations ahead of them. Research by comparison site Top10 showed that one in five adults between 18 to 29 said this was their biggest fear about committing to a serious relationship.

In contrast, majority of adults over 30 said they had no fears about committing to a relationship, with baby boomers being the least worried about settling down. This cohort were also more likely to engage in ‘situationships’, which is defined in the survey as “an ongoing sexual relationship with an undefined future”.

Happy mature couple enjoying drink in restaurant
Relationships can be tricky and finding someone to settle down with isn't straightforward for everyone. (Getty Images)

The Top10 survey revealed that 45% of baby boomers said they have experienced a situationship in the past, compared to 41% of Gen X, 35% of Millennials and 32% of Gen Z.

Relationships expert Marina Lazaris, who is the author of Men Need Love Too, tells Yahoo UK that many people feel pressure to find 'The One' because "society sees 'success' as being in a relationship.

She adds: "Really, there is no 'one' as everyone is your soulmate and no-one is your soulmate. Rather, relationships should be seen as a path to growth and not a destination."

While we may worry about going through a number of romances, Lazaris says that changing the way we view our relationships could be key to leading happier lives.

"Holding the perspective that everyone we meet is a soulmate actually creates freedom," she says. "There is no 'one' person for everything, all relationships are equally important.

"We need friendships, community and family. Placing one relationship above all else creates a huge burden and an unrealistic expectation on someone. This expectation leads to unfulfilled relationships, with lack of gratitude for what is in front of us."

Divorce mediators Joe and Cheryl Dillon, from Equitable Mediation, also agree that the idea of finding 'The One' is an old-fashioned notion - however, they remain surprised at the number of people who still feel this pressure from an early age.

"That pressure can come from a multitude of different avenues," they tell Yahoo UK. "Perhaps someone has parents, grandparents, or other close family members who’ve been happily married for decades, and they idealise this ‘picture perfect’ union as something they should be striving to achieve in their own life.

"Many people of a certain age, usually around the late twenties to early thirties mark will start to see their friends settle down, purchase homes, get married, and have kids. This shift in perspective can make those who were previously content in their single life feel like they are falling behind when it comes to hitting life’s expected milestones.

"This can be even more prevalent for females who hope to one day start families, as this is also the age where conversations around fertility and reproduction can start weighing heavy on the mind."

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When and how a person finds someone they want to spend the rest of their lives with differs for every single person, they add.

"Some couples will meet in high school or college and have happy marriages that last a lifetime, yet others will enjoy decades of casual dating before finding the person they are ready to settle down with.

"Some may argue that a lot of experience within different relationships will help individuals determine the qualities and non-negotiable traits they are looking for in their life partner. Yet others are of the opinion that love can grow, evolve, and strengthen over time with the right person.

"The chances are that people are worrying about the opposite of the path they’ve chosen when it comes to finding their ‘one’. Those who’ve kissed a lot of frogs to find their prince or princess may be worried that they’ve taken too long or been too fussy about finding the right person for them, whereas those who have found a long-term partner relatively early on in life may be worried that they’ve missed out on certain dating experiences."

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