I started my period aged nine and suffered in silence at school

Dr Milli Raizada, 40, is a GP who lives near Manchester with her husband, Andrew, and two children. As new research shows many girls and women put up with period problems for years, here Milli reveals her own isolating struggle.

Taking a break from my PE lesson at primary school, I was horrified to see blood in my knickers when I went to the toilet. Shocked, I had no idea what was going on. I was only nine and sex education lessons at school had not even started, let alone covered menstruation.

None of my friends had talked about periods and no one at home had ever mentioned the word. Looking back, I wonder if my parents were too embarrassed or perhaps they thought it was too soon to discuss it with me. Grabbing some toilet paper, I shoved it down my knickers and changed my clothes without saying a word.

A teacher must have noticed though. Because that afternoon, I remember her grabbing my mum at home-time and having a 'quiet word' while I stood in the corner. I was mortified. I knew it must be about the bleeding.

Mum rushed me home and although I don’t remember any embarrassing ‘chat’, she must have told me what it all meant and that I’d have to make a note of when I was bleeding. I had a Forever Friends diary and would mark down the bleeding days in that.

Heavy bleeding and irregular periods

That was only the start of years of trouble with my cycle yet little was spoken about it. I’d suffer heavy bleeding and irregular periods to the point where I felt out of control. I was a fit, young girl but couldn’t bear the thought of accidentally bleeding through my clothes so I stopped ballet dancing and swimming, two activities I loved.

I put on weight and developed acne, which was partly down to polycystic ovarian syndrome, something I discovered later in life. I went on the contraceptive pill when I was about 15 to help with all my symptoms but I’ve never forgotten the stigma in those early years. A decade later, when I came off the Pill to try and get pregnant, my periods never really became ‘normal’ and I suffered three heartbreaking miscarriages before having a daughter, now 12, and a son, now nine, with my first husband.

Putting up with period problems

Learning this week – over 30 years on – that women and girls are still ‘suffering in silence’ with menstrual problems was shocking.

It comes as a charity, Wellbeing of Women, has launched a period symptom checker to help women and girls understand more about their cycle. It’s a wonderful idea. Anything that can help educate and empower girls and women has to be a good thing. Because even now I see patients who have spent years going to their GP with period problems and have never had any answers. They’re exhausted, confused and frustrated by what is happening to their body.

Normalising periods

I knew that when I had my own daughter that things were going to be different. The average age most girls start their periods in the UK is 12. When my daughter started her periods at 10 years old I'd already told her what to expect – that things might be irregular for a while but that when her period settled down it was normal to have bleeding for two to seven days and that she would need to change her pad every three to four hours.

I even prepared her with ‘period packs’ of pads, spare knickers and, now, period pants – a wonderful invention.

But women – and even some doctors – are not always certain what is normal in terms of menstruation. For instance, if you’re changing your tampon or pad every one or two hours, that indicates a very heavy flow and there might be some underlying problem such as endometriosis or fibroids. It can lead to extreme fatigue, iron deficiency, anaemia and hair loss – all reasons to visit your GP.

Last year, a hard-hitting report from The Women and Equalities Committee of MPs said that 'medical misogyny' is leading to women living with unnecessary pain for years as reproductive conditions go undiagnosed. As a GP in the NHS and now private, I can completely understand this.

Many women and girls feel they are 'dismissed' with painkillers and they simply have to 'get on with it' even if they’re suffering with dreadful pain and cramps that painkillers won’t help.

This can have an enormous effect on them both physically and psychologically. Some feel that they shouldn’t bother their GP because the pressures and demands on GPs are huge now. But underlying problems should always be investigated. It can take around nine years for a condition like endometriosis to be diagnosed and that really shouldn’t be the case.

As a GP who specialises in hormones and lifestyle medicine, I now run a private clinic where I have more time to dig into what may have caused women’s health problems – it might be their weight, a past trauma, they may be insulin-resistant or it could be genetic. All these factors need to be taken into account for a more holistic approach.

My biggest advice for anyone is to get used to what feels normal for you. If you’re in pain and your life is being impacted by your periods, don’t be a martyr. Lifestyle changes to exercise, diet, drinking and sleep can be hugely transformative in conjunction with medical management if needed, and can make a big difference.

You don’t need to suffer in silence.

Read more on periods:

• New period checker could 'open discussions' about problems (PA Media, 3-min read)

• What you need to know about menstrual cups, as doctors issue warning (Yahoo Life UK, 7-min read)

• Women being misdiagnosed as health issues ‘not taken seriously’ (Yahoo Life UK, 5-min read)