These funny AF Valentine’s Day cards will make your partner smile
Valentine’s Day cards aren’t just for the soppy and romantic, trust us. If you and your partner (or you and your FWB, BFF, or whoever you want to share the love with!) are more into making each other laugh than sweeping declarations of devotion, it’s time to invest in a funny Valentine’s card.
Guaranteed to crack them up, or at least bring a smile to their face, these cards show you that a sense of humour really is a timeless gift.
So, without further ado, here’s our pick of the funniest (and, okay, cheesiest) Valentine’s cards money can buy.
You are probably my favourite husband
Remind him where he comes in the rankings.
Card size: 105 x 148.5 mm, 148 x 210 mm, 210 x 297 mm, or 420 x 297 mm
Envelope included
I’ll show you my boobies
Who doesn’t love a bird pun?
Card size: 105 x 148.5 mm, 148 x 210 mm, 210 x 297 mm, or 420 x 297 mm
Envelope included
You’ll do
To make them feel truly loved <3
Card size: 150 x 150 mm
Envelope included
Happy Valentine’s Gay
There’s nothing us queer people love more than reminding our partners we’re gay.
Card size: 148 x 210 mm or 210 x 297 mm
Envelope included
I was going to send you something sexy
The ideal card for if you’re sexy (and you know it).
Card size: 148 x 210 mm or 210 x 297 mm
Envelope included
From the best decision you ever made
Another reminder of the joy you bring to your partner’s life.
Card size: 105 x 148 mm
Envelope included
£3.16 at notonthehighstreet.com
Cact-us
Cacti might be prickly, but they can also help you spell out the language of love.
Card size: 148 x 210 mm or 210 x 297 mm
Envelope included
No one else I’d rather have snoring beside me
If you love your snoring significant other (and don’t mind a gentle joke at their expense), we’ve found the card for you.
Card size: 150mm x 150mm
Envelope included
Fork me now, spoon me later
If you’re feeling a bit on the raunchier side, try this saucy take on cutlery.
Card size: 105 x 148.5 mm, 148 x 210 mm, 210 x 297 mm, or 420 x 297 mm
Envelope included
You are on fire, hot stuff
If your partner is hotter than a Scotch bonnet, we’ve found just the card for you. You can personalise the images on the front of the card, as well as who it’s to.
Card size: 132 x 185 mm, 205 x 290 mm, or 293 x 419 mm
Envelope included
You steam up my specs
Any glasses wearers will be familiar with their specs steaming up in hot rooms, clubs, and when faced with their crush. Let your special someone know the effect they have on you (and your eyewear) with this humorous card.
Card size: 115 x 155 1mm
Envelope included
I just really puggin’ love you
Pugs... not only are they cute, they’re the perfect addition to your V-Day card.
Card size: 149 x 229 mm
Envelope included
I’m yours, no refunds
Keep it sweet and tongue-in-cheek with this ‘no refunds’ card.
Card size: 148 x 210 mm
Envelope included
I would find you sooner so I could annoy you for longer
Let your partner know that you’ve only got eyes for them — even in a parallel universe — with this cheeky card.
Card size: 148 x 210 mm
Envelope included
Favourite human bean
Because everyone knows Heinz Meanz Love.
Card size: 105 x 148.5 mm, 148 x 210 mm, 210 x 297 mm, or 420 x 297 mm
Envelope included
Swede carrot lime
In case you didn’t get the reference, this card’s making a nod to “Sweet Caroline”. Genius, we know.
Card size: 148 x 148 mm
Envelope included
From the bottom of my heart
This cards puts a more saucy spin on the phrase ‘from the bottom of my heart’.
Card size: 148 x 210 mm
Envelope included
This is the cheesiest card I could find
Not for the lactose intolerant, this card gives new meaning to the concept of cheesy Valentine’s Day cards.
Card size: 145 x 145 mm
Envelope included
You’re a hot-tea
A good way to remind your partner just how hot they are.
Card size: 132 x 185 mm, 205 x 290 mm, or 293 x 419 mm
Envelope included
Thanks for keeping my abnormally cold feet warm
You know what they say, ‘cold hands, warm heart’. This card suggests that the same could be said for cold feet, and makes us thinking of snuggling in bed with our S/O.
Card size: 120 x 170 mm
Envelope included
From my head to-ma-toes
The last of our food-themed cards, this one features a cute tomato spin on the phrase, ‘I love you from my head, to my toes’. Adorable.
Card Size: 148 x 210 mm
Envelope included
You are my BOO
Who said funny cards couldn’t also be cute? Get a load of this adorable ‘boo’ card.
Card size: 148 x 148 mm
Envelope included
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