Veterans and their families are bound together by experiences shared, stories never told | Column
We were packing for yet another move when I heard my Navy veteran son yell “Hey, Shipmate” at a USPS driver and dash out the front door to clap the fellow on the back because the driver was wearing a cap emblazoned with the name of the aircraft carrier Abraham Lincoln.
Sure enough, on the 5,000-person floating city, these two veterans had been shipmates.
In our family, we take Veteran’s Day seriously. A member of my father’s family fought beside George Washington in the Revolutionary War and received an award from the great man himself. At least one family member has fought in every war since then. Apparently, we can’t get along with anybody.
For a military family, Veteran’s Day isn’t just a note on the calendar like National Metal Day or National Sundae Day, also observed on Nov. 11. Like the other 17 million veterans in the U.S., we have our experiences that hold us together as part of the same community, stories we share, and stories that can never be told.
As part of the family of three veterans, I consider myself a veteran also, although I never wore a uniform. Mothers like me kept things going at home. Long before that sailor served on the Abraham Lincoln, he was a scared 5-year-old and I was the one who tucked his father’s jacket around him at night and whispered to him that when Daddy came home, he’d hug his little boy just like this.
Our boy did grow up to follow his Dad with years of service but also with his heart. I’ll never forget his cry of anguish for “all my sailors” when the USS Cole was attacked almost exactly 24 years ago. Seventeen sailors were lost but they were all part of the family.
People often kindly come up to a service man or woman to say “Thank you for your service,” and to tell the truth, I’ve never liked the gesture because I always think, “You just don’t know.”
But my son says, “No, Mom, it’s a nice gesture.” He says, “I always respond, ‘And thank you for paying for my jet fuel with your taxes.’”
When, Ross, all grown up, left for Annapolis, his baby sister, age 5, was proud enough to burst and she vowed that at the first possible minute she, too, would be going to “Rosses-Apolis.” That was her goal until the year when we traveled to the Naval Academy for her brother’s graduation.
When we came home, she came to me and said solemnly, “I’m not going to Rosses-Apolis.” No? “No. They tell you what to do there,” she declared. “Nobody is going to tell me what to do.”
The military life is not for everyone.
An amazing number of veterans volunteer and perform community service after they return to civilian life, according to the publication Military Life. Veterans are more likely than non-military civilians to volunteer in their communities and interact with neighbors but often aren’t recognized for that involvement, according to a civic health survey of veterans.
Stephanie Blomberg, activities director at Panorama in Lacey, shared how much she was influenced by her father, Sgt. John T. Pogue, who coordinated memorial funeral services for veterans for more than a decade after he left the Air Force. Like too many veterans, he ultimately died of ALS, attributed to his exposure to Agent Orange.
She credits her own extensive volunteer work to his example. “We all have value,” she says. “I learned from my Dad that service to your community doesn’t stop because you’re no longer wearing a uniform. Your community is who you are.”
Several hundred residents of Oak Harbor turned out with lighted candles last Monday night to honor fallen Aviator Lt. Serena Wileman, and light her way home. My young husband and I shared a similar candlelight vigil in Taipei, across the world and across the years, when John F. Kennedy was assassinated in 1963. In a way, we’re all shipmates.
For a veteran’s family, the day finally comes when you have to say goodbye, standing together proudly near your loved one’s grave as the rifle salute sounds and the trifold flag is pressed into your hands. “From a grateful country,” the young officer says as he drops to a knee for the presentation.
”We’re not broken,” one son says.
“We’re not suckers and losers,” says the other.
But they are veterans and they are proud. Thank you for your service.
Where to find Dorothy in November
2 p.m. Nov. 24 — Legacy, Legends and Outright Lies: At the Dupont History Museum. Dorothy and Tumwater pioneer family member Don Trosper present Puget Sound history. The museum is at 207 Barksdale Ave, DuPont. Call 253-820-3656 for more information.
Contact Dorothy at Dorothy@itsnevertoolate.com/ Find her syndicated podcast, Swimming Upstream Radio Show, at itsnevertoolate.com, with a new show every Monday.
