Why discovering your 'priorities' is key to a happier life
We're nearing the end of January (finally!), but if you've kept to your resolutions yet are still feeling unfulfilled or stuck in a rut, it could be because you're not living a life that aligns with your priorities.
"Our priorities are the foundation of everything," says life coach Lily Silverton. "Who and what we deem important ultimately dictates how we live our life, so the clearer we can become on our priorities, the more direction, purpose, meaning and joy we can bring to life."
Why are priorities important?
On the importance of knowing our priorities, Lily adds: "What you prioritise in your day-to-day becomes the sum of your entire life. Once you appreciate that, you begin to look at your priorities and life in a different light."
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She explains that our priorities act as a guide for our decisions, thoughts and behaviour. "Once you know your priorities, you'll better know what to say yes and no to."
Once you're clear on your priorities, it's easier to make changes in your life to guide yourself to a happier place.
"For example, if you find yourself doom scrolling on social media, you can say to yourself, 'I am prioritising my phone and other people's lives' and you may find that's a powerful enough message to make you put your phone down."
Goals v priorities
You might think your goals are there to guide you in life, and they are to an extent, but priorities are also crucial.
"While goals are helpful in life, if you don't have your priorities and values aligned then it's hard to set the right goals and/or achieve the ones you set out to," Lily says.
"Our priorities help us define our own version of success and carve the right path for ourselves, even if it doesn't look like everyone else's.
"Knowing my priorities has changed my life in so many ways – from using the concept to stop some of my more stress-inducing thoughts, to ensuring that I make the time to prioritise the things in life that are actually important to me. Once you know your priorities, I think it becomes harder to not live a life aligned with them."
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Lily's priorities
"My constant priorities are health, compassion, family and contributing value.
"I keep my priorities central to my life by using my journal/planner, because it helps me track that my daily actions and habits actually align with the bigger picture of what's important to me.
"I also note my priorities on my phone or sticky notes. Having them somewhere accessible and visible means I'm much more likely to remember them."
Lily is realistic that we can't always live by our priorities, lamenting: "Life in general can be challenging for keeping on top of our priorities. The multi-faceted demands, choices and options of modern living make it hard to stay aligned with what’s important to us.
"As does social media – that constant window into other people’s lives that can so easily make us question our own choices, decisions and life.
"Life will sometimes be chaotic and challenging, and you won't necessarily be able to focus on all of your priorities all at once, so it's about being realistic and kind to yourself and seeing how you can arrange your life to support what’s important to you.
"In order to focus on our priorities, sometimes we need to de-prioritise and declutter our lives and learn to say an external 'no' because an internal 'yes' is more important."
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How to find your priorities
Think deeply about what is meaningful to you – what brings purpose and joy to your life? Do you have a bigger why?
Consider who and what you truly care about, as well as who and what you couldn't care less about.
Think about how you want your life to feel/look like in one to three years' time, what are the things/people/activities/behaviours/thoughts that you need to prioritise to get you to that place for yourself?
