Woman drops out of sister’s destination wedding after discovering $22k family loan covered groom’s relatives’ travel
A woman refused to attend her sister’s destination wedding after discovering that her family’s $22,000 loan to the bride was actually spent on the groom’s family.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole?” Reddit forum, a woman asked if she was in the wrong for dropping out of her sister Katie’s and her fiancé Chris’s wedding in Dubai. She said her sister has “always wanted an extravagant wedding,” and it is happening over four days.
The woman, who was the maid-of-honor, explained that there would be 70 guests, including her husband and her parents. Everyone was expected to stay at the same hotel as the wedding party. With the hotel and flight to Dubai, guests are paying about £2900 ($3,740) each.
The groom’s family includes his parents, two brothers, and nephew — all of whom are staying at the hotel. According to the Reddit user, “they are well off”; however, the pair still asked the bride’s family to borrow money.
“Six months ago, Chris and Katie came to us and asked to borrow £17,000 [$21,900],” the woman wrote.
She continued: “They stressed it would be a loan paid over time, and said the venue had increased the price, Dubai law was different blah blah blah — they paid this money or they lost the lot.”
The former maid-of-honor offered her sister £7,000 ($9,028) while her parents lent them the remaining £10,000 ($12,898).
However, the woman learned through the grapevine that the loan wasn’t for the venue; it was actually for Chris’s family to fly to Dubai. She said that once his family saw the cost of the wedding, they refused to go.
When the Reddit user confronted her sister about her lie, she said: “She got very defensive and said this was the fairest way she could think of doing it, it’s hard enough planning a wedding, etc.
“But when I asked, if you genuinely thought this was the fairest way to do it, why did you lie about what the 17k was for and say it was a venue issue? She couldn’t answer.”
While the bride’s parents “are very disappointed” about Katie and Chris’s lie, they still plan to attend the wedding. However, her sister said that she has “backed out” of the event.
“To me it feels like my parents are being taken advantage of — and if they couldn’t afford to pay for both our and Chris’s parents and his brothers and nephew then they shouldn’t have just paid for the four parents or no one at all,” she wrote about the bride and groom. “And they especially shouldn’t have lied about it.”
She noted that Katie and Chris have been calling her since she backed out, urging her to attend the wedding and accusing her of “ruining their day.”
In an edit to the post, she made a few clarifications, noting that she has a repayment plan for the loan in a contract drawn up by her husband’s brother. According to the contract, the bride and groom have to pay her and her parents back within 12 months of the wedding.
She noted that despite what happened, asking for her money back now felt “like a step too far,” since she didn’t want to “actively try to ruin” the wedding a few weeks before the big day.
The Reddit post has quickly gained traction, with more than 6,700 upvotes. In the comments, many people defended the bride’s sister as they questioned the couple for having such an expensive wedding in Dubai in the first place.
“If it was important to have the families there, then why are they doing this extravagant wedding…four days!!…in Dubai, of all places? Why not someplace closer and less expensive for travel,” one wrote.
“It's unfortunate that they felt the need to have such an extravagant destination wedding when a local, or closer, wedding could be just as lovely. And it's hard to have fun and celebrate when a huge loan is hanging over your head,” another added.
Many people also criticized the couple for lying about why they needed the loan.
“They lied to get money from you and your parents, and not a small sum, thousands of pounds. It's super shady of them to do that, technically it's fraud. They're the ones who put a damper on their wedding by being liars,” one wrote.
“I would take a similar stand against the lie they told you and your parents. [Katie and Chris] essentially extorted money from you under false pretenses, to subsidize her in-law’s travel. That’s not right and it sets a terrible tone for the start of the marriage,” another advised.
