Woman Says Her Ex Asked Her to Skip Housewarming Party for a Mutual Friend Because of His Fiancée
“He said his fiancée feels uncomfortable that I would be anywhere close to him,” the Reddit user wrote in a post
One woman said that her ex-boyfriend contacted her and asked her not to come to a mutual friend’s housewarming party. The reason? His new fiancée “will feel uncomfortable.”
In a recent post on Reddit's “Am I the A------?” forum, the 26-year-old woman opened up about the situation, first explaining to users that she and her 27-year-old boyfriend have been split for two years.
She described the breakup as “pretty amicable,” but admitted that she felt there was no real reason to remain friends with him anymore, and completely cut him off to avoid any future “problems."
However, due to the close-knit community, she remained cordial and would engage in “small chat” with his parents during occasional run-ins. She also remained friendly with his friends, sharing that she even runs into her ex "once or twice every couple of months."
As of present, he now has a fiancée — something she didn’t think would be an issue — and even said, "I am happy for them.” So far, no friction.
But things took a turn when their mutual friend, Peter, invited them both to a housewarming party.
“One of his closest friends, Peter, just bought a house. I am friends with his girlfriend,” the woman explained on Reddit. “And we are both invited to the housewarming. I didn't think any of it, however, my ex texted me yesterday, after like a year? Albeit, very politely, that maybe I could skip the housewarming, as he was bringing his [fiancée], and she will feel uncomfortable.”
Baffled by the text, she went on to explain that she was “weirded out by his wording” and decided to give him a call to clear things up. That’s when he made a rather bold accusation.
“He said his [fiancée] feels uncomfortable that I would be anywhere close to him,” she recalled. “And the fact that they both feel like I sometimes 'intrude' into their social gatherings, just to prove I'm better than her to his friends.”
Angered by his words, she fired back and reminded him that she “stopped hanging out with his friends” the moment they broke up “to not make things difficult for him.” Which begged her next question: “How was it my fault?"
After her ex-boyfriend ranted about how none of his friends respected his new girlfriend, some calling her an “airhead,” the woman pushed back by calling him “spineless,” saying that their relationship troubles aren't her problem.
She also made one thing crystal clear to him: she was indeed attending that housewarming party, regardless of how he and the new insecure fiancée might feel.
“I told my ex strongly that both Peter and his gf are my friends and I would be going to their housewarming, and his relationship issues are not my problem,” the woman shared on Reddit.
She added, “I have blocked him now, and his [fiancée] sent a long text on how she was sorry, but now I was apparently being vindictive, and how did it matter if I didn't go to a housewarming? She asked me to not make any drama and please respect her. I didn't reply and blocked her.”
“My friends are pissed at my ex and I haven't told my friend or Peter any of it yet. I think maybe I could have handled it any other way. AITAH?” the woman concluded.
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The majority of Reddit commenters sided with the woman, saying that the ex-boyfriend’s insecurities with his new fiancée are not her problem.
“You were invited to the party, and your ex's [fiancée’s] discomfort isn’t your responsibility,” said one user. “As long as you’re respectful and not causing drama, you have every right to be there.”
“You’re just tryna vibe with your friends, not your ex. His [fiancée’s] insecurities ain’t your responsibility,” chimed in another Redditor, echoing some of the same points as previous commenters. “You’ve been respectful, stepped back, and it’s not your fault their circle overlaps. Blocking them was smart — drama’s not your problem. Go to that party, it’s about your friends, not them.”
Many other commenters insisted that the woman go to the housewarming party. One of the points many commenters agreed on is that the ex was overstepping his boundaries.
“Honestly your ex and his [fiancée] are overstepping by trying to control your actions,” replied another commenter. “It's housewarming, not their personal territory and you’re not obligated to avoid things just to make them comfortable.”
Others chimed in with simple advice directed to the ex-boyfriend, suggesting saying that the ex and his new fiancée who should take their own advice and not go to the party.
“If your ex and your [fiancée] have an issue, they shouldn't go. As long as you have been invited, you have every right to go,” said one user. “Your attendance has nothing to do with them. And I doubt you even knew they were attending. They need to get over themselves.”
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