Woman Says Man 'Reacted Very Badly' After Discovering He Unknowingly 'Mansplained' Her Own Research to Her
A lawyer and researcher wrote on Reddit that a friend of a friend "started explaining my work to me, but in a completely wrong way and missed all of my points"
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Stock photo of man talking to a woman at a barA woman is asking for the internet's take after a friend of a friend "mansplained" her own research to her during a night out — without realizing that she was the author of the findings until she told him herself.
In a post on Reddit's “Am I the A------?” forum, the woman wrote that the man, who works in the same "technical, specific, male-dominated field," started talking with her about work.
After graduating nine years ago and now working as a lawyer and researcher, the Reddit user wrote that she's since "published some work here and there but nothing too major, and no one outside of that field knows my work."
But, while out with her friends, she realized the one man was indeed familiar with her work — just not as familiar with her being the one behind it.
As she explained, her pals introduced her to "one of their friends who works in the same field as me" as a legal advisor, but doesn't "exactly do the same thing," given she's a lawyer.
"At one point we were discussing a point on which we had different opinions, so I explained mine to him and he replied by saying that my opinion was based on nothing while his was based on the work of a professional (you guessed it, me)," the Reddit user wrote. "He basically started explaining my work to me, but in a completely wrong way and missed all of my points."
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Stock image of two people arguing"I asked him if he was sure that that was what the author meant and he said that he was because it was 'pretty simple actually.' For another good 20 minutes he explained all of it to me in details, like I was a first-year law student," she added. "I didn't say anything because it was pretty funny to watch him say things that were completely wrong with so much confidence."
At the end of the night, the lawyer decided to break the news to the man that she was "actually the person that wrote the work he had quoted, and he hadn't really understood it."
"He reacted very badly and got angry, and he told me that I had manipulated him to humiliate him," the woman wrote. "He yelled at me for not saying it was my work at the beginning. I simply replied that he had embarrassed himself and left."
"I woke up this morning to texts from my friends saying I was wrong for causing drama and tension and that I could've been nicer to their friend. I'm not sure if I'm in the wrong there," she added. "I mean yes, I could've told him right away, but is it that big of a deal that I didn't? I'm not exactly sure."
After asking if she was in the wrong in the situation, the woman clarified that "both conversations happened only between the two of us."
"So it's not like I publicly humiliated him," the lawyer wrote. "The only thing 'embarrassing' for him here is that a woman seemed smarter than him, and I think that's what he had an issue with."
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Underneath the woman's post, the consensus was that she was not in the wrong for how she handled the "mansplainer," with the thread's top comment reading, "Kudos to you for being so calm when he mansplained your own research."
Another user wrote that the story was as good "as that man on Twitter that tried to tell Margaret Atwood which religious doctrine the Handmaid's Tale was a critique of," with another writing that "a decent person would just laugh and apologize."
"He f----- around, found out," one other comment read. "He's just pissed as a small man that realized he was outclassed and potentially made some massive career errors. Being plain wrong, to start with, and then being enough of a misogynist to behave like that without realizing you were the author. You took the trash out. He probably behaves like this in the office too, so taking him down a peg probably hit too hard."
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