Women Are Revealing The WILDLY Incorrect Assumptions Men Typically Make About Them, And I, A Fellow Woman, Feel SEEN
It's the 21st century, and sadly (but unsurprisingly), men are still making harmful assumptions about women. Whether it's our anatomy, emotions, or preferences, many men still contribute to the notion that women are from another planet. However, one of the easiest ways to eliminate these misconceptions is by asking women themselves...
This is exactly what u/HeadGullible7082 did when they asked their fellow Redditors, "What's an assumption about women that most men get wrong?" Women were more than happy to clear up men's most common myths about them. From dating and sex to friendship and feelings, here are a few of the most enlightening responses:
1."Men think becoming 'a childless cat lady' is the worst possible thing that could happen to a woman and, therefore, love to use it as an insult; however, most women are not insulted by this because it’s not an insult to us. The peace and freedom of that lifestyle actually sound pretty awesome."
"In reality, that phrase only makes the accuser look bad. The accusation is that women should lower their standards or else.
But here’s the deal, we looked at everything you brought to the table; your personality, your values, and how you treat us, and when we compare that to being alone forever with a cat — we chose to shovel poop nuggets out of a sandbox for the rest of our lives than be with you.
All you had to be was be more appealing and less troublesome than cat sh*t — and yet, you couldn't. You lost to cat turds. We don’t need to lower our standards; you need to become less chaotic."
2."That taking birth control is always a safe option for women."
"It's not! Birth control can have serious effects on our hormones and cause blood clots. IUDs are painful to get put in and removed. Pills can lead to hormone withdrawals that cause major migraines and uncontrollable mood fluctuations.
There is a dangerous side to taking birth control."
3."That feminists hate men or anything 'masculine' is absolutely wrong, and I'm a staunch feminist! The difference between toxic masculinity and normal masculinity is who it does or doesn't harm."
"If you're out here being brave, competitive, sexual, into monster trucks or whatever else you've deemed 'masculine,' no one cares. All that matters is whether or not anyone — including you — is getting harmed in the process of you being 'masculine.'"
4."That the body magically returns to normal after giving birth. News flash: it doesn't."
"Your partner just had a human ripped out of her body that had been growing and stealing resources for nine months. Don't you realize that causes both temporary and lifetime damage? We're talking about more than just stretchmarks, too — osteoporosis, an elevated chance of high blood pressure, a higher risk of diabetes, rectal and anal incontinence, and so much more.
Not to mention all the wild stuff hormones do that leads to mental health issues like postpartum depression — which can become a lifelong battle. So yeah, don't think everything is magical after a woman gives birth because it's oftentimes not. That's why it's her body and her choice."
5."It isn't that all men are violent. It's that we cannot tell which men are violent and which are not when we first meet them."
"And if they prove to be violent, it's already too late.
Men shouldn't combat this by chanting, 'Not all men!' to every woman who is scared and suspicious.
Hold your fellow men accountable when they objectify and demean women."
6."In my experience, men often think that when a woman tells him about something that upset her that day — at work problem, a family member, etc. — it becomes his job to provide her with a solution."
"As in, 'That's easy, just do this, and your problem will get solved. I'm glad I could help — there is no need to thank me.'
In reality, women can and will solve the problem themselves; they just want an empathetic ear to listen and provide support or encouragement. Sometimes, it's a way for them to work out the solution in their minds by talking it out with you. Trying to immediately solve the problem for them is not listening."
7."That dating is easy for us — it's not. It's terrifying to have to tell friends where you are every time you go on a date due to the fear of being assaulted or worse. We receive unsolicited dick pics and sexual threats. We must choose clothes that look nice but not 'cheap' or too 'revealing,' lest someone say that we were 'asking for it.' We deal with men who don't take no for an answer and think we enjoy the 'chase.' It's f*cking hard."
"My boyfriend was so confused when I told him I had shared my location with a friend before our first date. He thought that was only what women did in big cities (like NYC or LA, not a small town in the Midwest). He was unaware that not only did I share my location, but I also sent my friend his full name, phone number, address, and a picture of his house."
8."Men (not all men, of course) want to see boobs and vaginas. So they think the thing we want to see most is their penis — this kind of man often sends unsolicited dick pics. Any man who sends an unsolicited dick pic is trying to say, 'You'd make my day if you sent me back some boobies.'"
"Women (not all of us, of course) generally work the opposite. If we like you, your face, your voice, your personality, we'll like your penis. You have to let us work from the outside in. It's much harder to find a man with an acceptable personality than it is to find a man with an acceptable penis. Your dick isn't a sales pitch to us. If you want to wow a woman, send her a picture of your emotional intelligence."
9."Men seem to think that all women are dishonest."
"Anytime I speak to a man about women, they always think that any interest she shows in them is an ulterior motive. Once, I read a post about women trying to step up and be more emotionally supportive of their male partners because of 'male isolation issues,' but the entire thread became a bunch of men saying the women in their lives were only checking in on them for transactional or performative reasons.
My brother is a 28-year-old virgin. I once asked him why he never puts himself out there, and he told me he wanted to 'keep his money and freedom.' He's never had a girlfriend in his whole life, but all the red-pilled media he consumes have convinced him that a relationship automatically means a woman is manipulating him."
10."Most women are not 'playing hard to get.' We don't want you, we don't need you, we don't like you, we don't want your number, and we don't want to give you ours either; we don't want to talk to you. Sometimes, we don't even want to look at you."
"Calling us horrible names, stalking us, threatening to hurt or kill us because we say 'No, thank you' just makes us dislike you and men in general even more. You are your own worst enemy.
Most women want to be left alone in peace, quiet, and drama-free happiness. We don't appreciate you invading our space and trying to make us acknowledge your existence — which we care nothing about. There are women on this planet who don't want your penis, don't want to date you, live with you, marry you, or have your babies.
We don't hate men as a whole; we're just not interested in YOU in particular. And please stop touching us if we have headphones on, are reading a book, or just not giving you the attention you think you deserve. You have no right to put your hands on anyone.
Women should be able to go outside without running survival scenarios in our heads and carrying weapons."
11."That we're hairless. Most, if not all, of us have hair — EVERYWHERE. Yes, hairy women exist. We're not dirty, single, or feral — we're literally humans. I don't understand how men pick on women for having peach fuzz or hair on their backs, butts, etc. Many men think women are supposed to look like pornstars."
"Yeah, I had an ex fully try to convince me that he had zero control over the skid marks on his underwear because 'men grow hair back there, and that makes being clean difficult.' I told him I kept clean even when I had hair there, and he informed me that I was making it up because women didn't grow hair back there unless they had a hormone problem. Boy, he was shocked when I told him almost every woman had some degree of hair back there — many women just remove it."
12."I see so many posts about 'women are disgusted and repulsed by my ugliness/baldness/height etc.' I have never looked at ANYONE and felt disgusted or repulsed unless they did something disgusting, like kicking kittens, pooping on the sidewalk, or committing heinous crimes."
"Otherwise, people are just people, and I view them with the same consideration as any other stranger. Their attractiveness level isn't important unless I'm actively deciding who to date."
13."That expressing strong emotions means we're incapable of rational thought and should, therefore, be ignored."
"Yes, I'm crying. I'm crying because I'm upset, but I'll still be able to tell you why my feelings are hurt.
When some men see tears, it's as if a loud, authoritative voice booms in their heads that says: 'She's emotional. Nothing she says makes sense from this moment on.' On the flip side, if we force down our feelings and speak calmly, those same men will hear another voice saying: 'Well, she doesn't look all that bothered, so this probably doesn't matter much.'"
14."Men think women are as visual as they are. We're not."
"I saw a video a while back with a very stereotypical 'cowboy' dancing with his lady, holding her tenderly, spinning her round gently, and looking so in love. Of course, the comment section was filled with women saying they wished they had a man like that — only for tons of men to upload videos of themselves dressed as cowboys in response.
We didn't like the video because the man was dressed like a cowboy — we liked the video because of how sweet and tender he was."
15."That women must somehow KNOW we are in a disadvantaged place in society. Believe it or not, we walk around the world feeling like full-fledged human beings."
"We feel smart, talented, and able to accomplish anything that needs to be done. We assume everyone knows this because we do. We feel our own power every day.
So it’s baffling when you read something derogatory about women, or someone makes a comment insinuating that you are a specific breed of human (aka not the 'norm'). You want to say, 'Where did you get these bizarre views?' You struggle for the right words to let these folks know that they are wrong, that they absorbed some strange ideas, and that better days are ahead for them IF they correct their view of women in the world."
16."That my female friends are a threat to a romantic relationship. Men assume we spend our 'girl time' talking about the ways they suck — unless they truly suck, we don't."
"During a girl's weekend, we usually only mention our partners if we ask each other what their S.O. is up to this weekend. Then the conversation shifts to that girl from high school who started a rumor about us and now can't stop posting her ugly kids on Facebook. We discuss the new insoles we discovered or a TikTok trend that seems exhausting. We don't talk about y'all — UNLESS you suck.
In that case, we'll spend the entire time talking about you. In fact, we probably planned the whole weekend to convince our friend she is better than your BS. BUT NORMALLY, we don't need to talk about you because it doesn't have to be said when we genuinely like our man."
17."That by nature of specifically being 'not male,' we are intrinsically a particular way — we're still people. We all have the same feelings, impulses, struggles, etc."
"This is the one that's plagued me my entire life. I was born, and my body became what it became. Now, you want to give me different rules because my body went in one direction instead of the other.
I'm still just a person. I like what I like and act how I act, the same as literally everyone.
F*ck your little rules."
Did any of these misconceptions shock you? Women, what are surprising assumptions men have made about you? Let us know in the comments! (Or if you prefer to remain anonymous, you can use this Google Form).
Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.
The National Alliance on Mental Illness helpline is 1-800-950-6264 (NAMI) and provides information and referral services; GoodTherapy.org is an association of mental health professionals from more than 25 countries who support efforts to reduce harm in therapy.
