"You're Setting Them Up For Disappointment": People With Kids Are Sharing The Modern Parenting Trends They 100% Disagree With

"You're Setting Them Up For Disappointment": People With Kids Are Sharing The Modern Parenting Trends They 100% Disagree With

Maybe you have kids of your own, maybe you're thinking about having them somewhere down the line, or perhaps you're pretty set on never having kids. In any case, you're probably well aware that there are a whole lot of parenting trends and philosophies around raising children, and like all things parenting, people have some strong opinions. So Redditor u/The_WhiteMantis asked, "What parenting ‘trend’ do you disagree with?" Here's what people said.

1."I can't stand how people put so much pressure on kids to play sports. Exposing your kid to sports is one thing; if they enjoy it, you let them keep doing it. It is completely different when you see kids in elementary school playing in every league they can be enrolled in and even doing training camps. Sure, it's great if they are really good and you give them the tools to excel, but if your kid is mediocre at best, you are setting them up for disappointment."

Children in baseball uniforms sitting on a bench, legs dangling, wearing cleats
Matimix / Getty Images

2."Parents not watching their own behavior when it comes to screen time, frustration tolerance, discipline, etc. You’ve got to dig deep and figure out how to model the behaviors you want your kids to do. If you are on your phone 24/7 and throw a fit every time the slightest thing inconveniences you, your kids will pick up these same behaviors."


3."Breaking the bank for your kid's birthday party by spending on expensive dessert tables, decorations, balloon backdrops, etc. Whatever happened to a simple barbecue, balloons, and a grocery store cake? People go way overboard on parties now, and it feels like it's some way to show off on social media."

Child smashing hand into a pink frosted cake during a cake smash photo session
Jena Ardell / Getty Images

4."The trend of oversharing kids' lives on social media. It's like turning your kid's childhood into a reality TV show."


5."Shaming other moms for how they choose to feed their kids."

Infant being bottle-fed by a caregiver, close-up view, baby's eyes gazing upward
Solstock / Getty Images

6."Not apologizing when you slip. Sometimes I don't respond in the best way to my kids (at home or in my classroom) or set the best example. When that happens, I own up to it, apologize, and work to do better."


7."Making your child's entire identity revolve around their extracurricular activities. Let them be kids, not robotic machines for your bragging rights."

Child's hands on piano keys, practicing
Sam Edwards / Getty Images

8."Never saying 'no' to your child. A big part of parenting is purely getting your kids to do important things, whether they like them or not."


9."The sad beige mom trend. If you want to make the rest of your home beige, that's up to you. But please let your child's nursery have some color for their development and well-being."

Colorful nursery room with a crib, storage shelves, and a rainbow-striped rug. No persons present
Katarzynabialasiewicz / Getty Images/iStockphoto

10."The amount of surveillance and tracking apps that more and more parents use on their kids. It gets really sad when these kids hit college, and they are looking for ways to detach from their parents who know what and where they are up to 24/7."


11."Not allowing children to be bored sometimes. We're trying very hard to teach our seven- and four-year-olds that it's OK (and even good) not to be entertained every second of the day. We finally had the strength to do a three-hour car ride with no electronics."

Child looking out car window, landscape visible, sunlight coming through
Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

12."Not teaching children proper manners and behavior. Please and thank you go a long way in this life."


13."Soft parenting. I don't necessarily disagree with soft parenting itself, but I think many parents who practice it don't fully understand it. These people just end up allowing their kids to do whatever they want with little to no discipline."

Two toddlers engaging in creative play with paint and paper on the floor
Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

14."I’ve seen a small-yet-growing trend of homeschooled kids where the parents completely neglect actual education and basically let the kid do whatever they want. They don’t follow a standardized curriculum for the sake of 'letting kids be kids.' If your kid can barely read at 10 years old, you’re setting them up to fail as an adult."


15."Letting them spend too much time on tablets. It’s crazy how many parents try to defend this. 'What am I supposed to do? My 3-year-old screams in the restaurant, and then I get looks and judgment.' You’re supposed to do what every parent has done prior to 2010 or so. You talk to your kids. You distract them. You comfort them. And if none of that works, you take them outside. Think about how bad too much screen time must be for a developing brain."

Child seated on sofa, looking at a tablet screen, indicative of technology's role in modern parenting
Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

16."Technology isn't helping kids with conversation skills. A conversation usually goes back and forth with no phones involved."


17."Pushing academics on young kids. I know that’s more of a societal expectation than a parenting trend, but it’s actually totally fine if your five-year-old isn’t reading yet. And your baby doesn’t need flash cards."

Child's hands turning page in a book with "HELLO!" and "WOOF!" text
Catherine Falls Commercial / Getty Images

18."Helicopter parenting. As a child that was sheltered, my parents would always intervene, and I became way too reliant on them. It wasn’t until my mid-20s that someone helped me realize what was happening, and I had to relearn how to live on my own. Sure, my parents did what they thought was best, but it backfired on me later in life. I’m still in the process of figuring out what it means to be independent and how to fight for myself."


19."I hate when people dress up their baby girls in outfits meant for grown women. I see little girls' outfits that are adorable and clearly meant for little girls. But no little girl should wear a body suit, ripped jeans, or a crop top and low-rise bellbottoms. It gives me the creeps."

Children's clothes on hangers, with various patterns and a blue sock hanging on one
Alexandradabija / Getty Images/iStockphoto

20."I'm all for gentle parenting, but never permissive parenting. There's a big difference. Gentle parenting means you treat your child with respect. Permissive parenting means you don't discipline your child ever, which makes them unable to deal with consequences in the future."


What's a parenting trend you dislike or just isn't for you? Or, what's a parenting method or hack that you totally embrace? Tell us in the comments or drop your thoughts into this Google form if you'd prefer to stay anonymous.

Note: Submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.