Breastfeeding is a full-time job—and this viral TikTok gets it

Sara Goldstein
·5 min read
A mom talking about breastfeeding
Tiktok / @danaschwartzzz

When I watched Dana Schwartz’s viral TikTok about the relentless demands of breastfeeding (which has 2.9 million views and counting), it felt like looking into a time machine. As someone who operated as a 24/7 milk production facility for two babies for two and a half years each, I know exactly what she means about feeling like you do nothing else. Because, well, you don’t.

She’s absolutely right—breastfeeding is a full-time job. That mythical “two to three hour” break between feeds? It’s more like an hour when you factor in the actual feeding time, burping, changing, and getting your baby settled. The American Academy of Pediatrics (AAP) notes that newborns typically feed 8-12 times per day in the early weeks, which often means breastfeeding takes up the majority of a parent’s time.

And let me tell you, when your tiny human decides to treat each meal like a five-course dining experience (at 3 AM, no less), that hour disappears faster than your hot coffee turns into sad, forgotten, ice-cold coffee for the fifth time today.

Related: This is breastfeeding: Living your life in 3-hour increments

With my first baby, I didn’t leave him overnight for two whole years. Sure, I attempted to pump in hopes of achieving longer stretches of freedom, but he snubbed bottles with the determination of someone who just announced they’re going gluten-free at an Italian restaurant. The trade-off? I was constantly tethered. A girls’ night out felt like being Cinderella, except instead of my coach turning into a pumpkin at midnight, it was my boobs turning into hot, heavy geysers demanding immediate attention.

But here’s where I need to gently disagree with one point from the TikTok: you don’t always need to wake your baby for feeds. While it’s true that some newborns, especially those working on regaining birth weight, may need to be woken to eat, this isn’t a universal rule.

Many new parents hear that they must wake their baby for every feeding—but according to the Mayo Clinic, this actually depends on the baby’s age, weight, and overall health. In the first few days after birth, most newborns lose weight, and until they regain it—usually within one to two weeks—it’s important to feed them frequently, sometimes requiring waking for feedings, especially if they sleep for more than four hours at a time. However, once a newborn establishes a pattern of weight gain and reaches their birth weight, it is generally safe to follow their hunger cues and let them wake naturally for feedings.

Related: 70% of women have breastfeeding challenges. Can we stop pretending it’s easy?

As @whos.rachel444 wisely commented, “My doctor told me the baby will wake up when she’s hungry and I called panicked that ‘I missed 2 feedings’. She’s 13 now she did not starve.” (Spoiler alert: babies are remarkably good at letting you know when they need something.)

@Rachel

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adds, “as long as your newborn isn’t sleeping past 5 hours hun you dont need to wake them up.”

The first time my oldest slept for a six-hour stretch and I did too, I woke up so desperate to nurse I could have extinguished a house fire with my boobs. That’s something they definitely don’t cover in the parenting books.

You’d think by baby number two I’d have had it all figured out. Oh, how wrong I was. Despite my veteran status, I ended up with mastitis that knocked me flat worse than any flu I’d ever experienced. Mastitis is an inflammation of breast tissue that sometimes involves infection, often linked to clogged milk ducts, engorgement, or incomplete drainage of the breast.

According to the Mayo Clinic, symptoms include breast pain, warmth, swelling, skin redness (which may appear in a wedge-shaped pattern), fever of 101°F (38.3°C) or higher, and a general feeling of being unwell. Some people also experience thickening of breast tissue, a lump, or a burning sensation, either constantly or while breastfeeding. If you ever feel flu-like symptoms along with painful, red breasts, don’t wait it out—reach out to your doctor. A little proactive care can save you from a world of hurt (and a potential infection).

Every baby is different, and it’s like learning to ride a bike all over again—except the bike is constantly moving, and you’re trying to do it while sleeping three hours a night.

So yes, breastfeeding is a full-time job. Yes, it can feel overwhelming. And yes, sometimes you feel more like a farm animal than a human being. But you don’t need to make it harder than it already is. If your baby is healthy and gaining weight appropriately, let them sleep. Trust their hunger cues—and when in doubt, check in with your pediatrician or a lactation consultant for reassurance.

And for all the new moms out there feeling like you’ve been transformed into a 24/7 dairy operation: this phase won’t last forever, even though it absolutely feels like it will. You’re doing amazing, and it’s okay if your journey looks different from someone else’s—even a viral TikTok creator’s. Just remember to keep a towel handy for those overnight engorgement surprises. Consider it your superhero cape for this particular adventure in motherhood.

Sources:

  1. Mastitis. Mayo Clinic. Mastitis.

  2. Newborn and Infant Breastfeeding. American Academy of Pediatrics. Newborn and Infant Breastfeeding.

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