Bride defended for telling her mother-in-law not to come to her wedding over her outfit
A bride-to-be has been defended after she nearly disinvited her future mother-in-law from her wedding over her outfit choice.
In a recent post shared to the popular “Am I The A**hole” Reddit forum, the soon-to-be newlywed described how she offered to take her future mother-in-law shopping for the wedding. She noted that as her fiancé’s mother only has sons, she “thought this would be a fun thing to experience together.” However, the woman turned the idea down and decided to go shopping with a friend instead.
The Reddit poster explained that before the shopping trip, she and her future mother-in-law discussed what kind of outfits would be appropriate for guests at the wedding and had been in contact during the shopping spree. “We had multiple conversations about what kind of outfit she would end up with, and specifically spoke about how I wasn’t OK with guests wearing white or ivory, as in my eyes this is something that should be reserved for the bride,” the bride-to-be explained. “She went shopping for her outfit yesterday, and sent me photographs of so many beautiful outfits that she tried on while she was still in the store.”
She noted that none of the outfits in the photos were white or ivory, and later checked in with the groom’s mother to see if she was “successful” in picking an outfit. However, her future mother-in-law had ultimately picked out a white dress for the wedding and sent the bride a photo of the outfit.
The Reddit poster explained that the white dress couldn’t be returned because the store didn’t accept refunds, before describing how angry she and the groom were over the situation.
“I was FURIOUS. I spoke with my fiancé and he agreed with me that it seemed she had purposefully been deceitful because the dress was white. We agreed that the dress is lovely but that the color is crossing a line,” she wrote. “I haven’t responded to MIL yet as I don’t really know what to say.”
While she didn’t want to be a “bridezilla,” the woman explained how she had stressed to her mother-in-law that she couldn’t buy a white dress for the wedding.
She concluded her post by sharing her fiancé’s conversation with his mother, before asking if she would be in the wrong for telling her mother-in-law that she couldn’t wear white to the wedding. “My fiancé has spoken to MIL, he hasn’t mentioned my feelings about the dress but she has told him that she doesn’t think I like it. When he asked her why she thought that, she stopped answering,” the bride-to-be wrote.
The Reddit post has quickly gone viral, with more than 7,900 upvotes. In the comments, multiple people defended the bride, while encouraging her fiancé to tell his mother that she cannot wear the outfit. Other people gave her advice on how she could explain to the groom’s mother that the dress wasn’t appropriate for the wedding.
“What your fiancé needs to do is ask to see the dress and HE tells her it’s inappropriate to wear white. His mom, his issue. He can be a big boy and take care of this for you,” one user responded.
“Seriously, this could not be more simple. Your fiancé tells his mother, ‘No white, period,’” another agreed. “I imagine she clearly knows this already but is seeking attention.”
“Tell her that any guest wearing white is such a HUGE social etiquette blunder but for the mother of the groom it’s so much worse of a faux pax that you feel all of the guests will be talking about her poor manners and social backwardness. Tell her you were clear about the dress NOT being white or off white – and ask her directly why she intentionally picked a dress that would be so embarrassing for her son’s wedding,” a third person wrote.
Others expressed how they’ve been in similar situations at their own weddings, in which their mother-in-law decided to wear white.
“My MIL wore a floor-length ivory pantsuit to her daughter’s wedding, and I made it very clear early on that we were not playing that game with our wedding. Sure enough, she sent pics of a white sundress and I immediately stopped replying and told my (then) fiancé about it. He handled it and MIL eventually bought a very pretty teal dress to wear,” one person shared.
Typically, it is a rule of thumb that guests should avoid wearing white to a wedding. In an interview with The Knot, wedding dress designer Madeline Gardner explained the reasoning behind this rule and pointed out some other colors that guests should avoid.
“When you’re a guest at a wedding, the most important thing to keep in mind is not to upstage or upset the bride,” she said. “It’s safe to stay away from any outfits that are predominantly white, cream or ivory.”
