Father Explodes at Son Over Choice to Name Baby After Late Mother Instead of Late Stepmother
One Reddit user details family tensions with father after he chooses to name his firstborn after his late mother instead of his late stepmother
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Stock photo of couple holding newborn babyA 28-year-old man is seeking advice from the Reddit community after a heated disagreement with his father over naming his unborn child.
“My dad and I have a complicated relationship,” the man begins his post, explaining that his father divorced his mother when he was a baby and remarried around the time of her death when he was 5 years old. “He was already remarried and had another child when my mom passed away and I think he expected with time that I would forget about my mom entirely and assimilate into his new family like they were the only one.”
The relationship between the two men has been strained for years. The tension came to a head when the son was 13, and his father suggested his stepmother adopt him. “He told me she wanted to adopt me but didn’t want me to get angry at her for asking because I still had a photo of my mom in my bedroom and I talked about her still,” he recalls. He declined the offer and his father "never mentioned it again," he writes. "But that strain could be felt."
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Stock photo of man and son arguingFast-forward to the present, and the man's stepmother has since died. And now, his wife is pregnant.
The man writes that he and his wife privately decided to name their unborn child, a girl, after his late mother. But the decision is not sitting well with his father, who "lost his temper" at a family get-together when the man said the child would not be named for the late stepmother.
"He told me he's grieving, my siblings are grieving and I should take that into consideration," the dad-to-be writes. "I told him that has nothing to do with what we name our child."
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The situation escalated during a private conversation in which the father accused the son of being inconsiderate. “He told me if I’m hiding the name like that then I must be naming my daughter after someone else, likely ‘that woman’ and how I was inconsiderate to consider such a thing when his wife had raised me,” he explains.
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Stock photo of man holding baby“He told me a good son would take this into consideration and honor the woman his father loved, the woman who raised him as her very own," the man continues, emphasizing, "His grief does not get to dictate the name my wife and I choose for our child.”
Commenters are siding with the poster, generally agreeing that the father has never respected his son's own grief.
"He’s got some issues he needs to work through and I think the fact that he’ll have to hear your bio mom’s name for the rest of his life is punishment enough," writes one.
"Your Dad needs counselling," adds another. "He's showing no understanding towards you at all yet is demanding a higher level of understanding that he gave you. He's obviously not thinking clearly and is too wrapped up in himself."
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