How can you help make Christmas less stressful for your family? Be on time
Q. Our family goes through this type of craziness the last few years, and I would like your opinion on how to make Christmas Day happier and less stressful.
Here is the situation: The family is supposed to arrive by 1 p.m. so that we can begin having our Christmas dinner by 1:30 p.m. and then we are supposed to open presents. Every family is asked to bring a side dish, like a lettuce salad, jello salad, dessert or vegetable dish — ready to serve.
Unfortunately, one of the family members is always late by at least 20 minutes and brings a dish that needs to be put in the oven because it is not quite finished baking. (And they live closer than anyone else.) Therefore, it’s a game of keeping everything else hot and not dried out. The little kids can hardly hold their excitement and we don’t get to sit down to eat until 2 p.m.
Am I being overly critical or rude or is it about time for me or my husband to call this consistently late family and remind them that we are eating at 1:30 p.m. and whoever is not here, can eat later?
A. No, you are not being overly critical or rude but this consistently late family is being very rude and inconsiderate. As the hostess, it is definitely appropriate for you to remind your guests of the time of arrival and the time scheduled to begin eating. Rather than add the last phrase about “and whoever is not here, can eat later,” I would just stress the point that “we are sitting down to eat promptly at 1:30 p.m.” If they are not there on time, address the issue of when they will eat at that point. Hopefully, your reminder call will solve the situation. Happy Holidays.
Q. Opening presents at our house last year was a real fiasco. Paper was flying all over – we didn’t know who was opening what and who got what because it was all over the floor. No one barely stopped ripping to even thank the person who gave the gift. So this is our idea for this year and I think other families have instituted this same procedure. Please tell me if this is too rigid and “unfun.”
We are going to have a bowl with all the little kids’ names in the bowl. Santa will be there and he will draw out the name of the first child who then gets to open his or her gifts and we all get to see what they are. That child says thank you or can give a hug to the giver of each present before going to the next. Then Santa draws out another name and the same process takes place.
When all the children have opened their gifts, then the second bowl is brought out and Santa starts with the same process. I also thought we would hold dessert until after everyone has opened their gifts
One of my family members thinks this will stifle the excitement and ruin the fun. What is your opinion? Is my plan going too far?
A. Hurrah for you! Chaos be gone! Your plan is a perfect one and it is not going to ruin the fun – it will make the day better instead! Happy Holidays!
Q. Last year at Christmas, one of my girlfriends brought her new boyfriend at the last minute. I had to scramble to add a place setting to the table and then had to find a gift in my “stash” of extra gifts and get it wrapped to give to him. It was a pair of Santa socks, a box of candy and a gift card to DQ.
As they were leaving my girlfriend leaned over and told me she didn’t expect me to give her boyfriend gifts. I felt like she had a lot of nerve telling me that. I think it would have been totally rude and uncomfortable for everyone if her boyfriend didn’t have anything to open. Did I do something wrong?
A. No, you did nothing wrong. However, your girlfriend certainly did by not telling you in advance that she wanted to bring her boyfriend. You would have felt terrible if you had not been able to give a gift to her boyfriend. As a hostess during the holidays, it is always wise to have a few gifts in reserve for situations such as this.
Q. I always give baked items as gifts to my neighbors. One of them called me the other day to say she and her family were going to be going out of town for Christmas, but she would love to take whatever I was baking for them with them to the hostess where they were going to be staying. She raved about how wonderful my baked items were, so I said I would get whatever I was baking to her before they left. My husband thought that was really nervy and out-of-place. I don’t really mind because they are good neighbors.
A. While her request was a little unusual and perhaps a little presumptuous, if you hadn’t known they were leaving town, you would have brought over your baked item anyway and actually, it is quite a compliment that she wants to take it with her. Happy Holidays!
