34 Things Older Guys Wish They Never, Ever Did In Their Lives, And At Least Now They Live To Tell The Tale
I always love sharing men's POVs on certain topics, especially when they take time to self-reflect on things in their lives. This thread of men sharing things they regret doing or not doing in their 20s caught my eye and is filled with many interesting responses. Here is what some men shared:
1."My lack of maturity and confidence in myself."
2."Getting married and buying a house with the wrong woman."
3."The big one is that I never went out and tried to meet anyone."
4."I wish I had appreciated my freedom more and been more comfortable doing things myself."
5."Wasting a decade on booze and drugs."
6."In my early 40s, but here goes: not saving or investing. Even small amounts compound over time. Giving almost zero fucks about my career. When I later found something interesting, I was forced to return to school to credential myself. More wasted time and money. Spending too much time with people who were 'fun' but clearly didn’t have my best interests in mind. I consider myself exceptionally lucky to have the life I currently have."
7."My biggest regret was that I was way too focused on women, and not focused enough on myself and my career in my 20s."
8."I would say being financially illiterate, not paying off debts, and saving sooner. I don't regret the student loans since I enjoy a degree and a job. But I could've realized sooner I had to pay these off and not just pay the minimum as interest rates soared. Then, I simultaneously had a bad spending habit. Now, I have to rebuild my savings. Live and learn."
9."Not traveling, especially solo. I thought all traveling was prohibitively expensive and dismissed it as something I couldn't do."
—_me
10."Not investing sooner."
11."Not taking care of my body, I'm in my mid-30s. I started gymming three to four times a week, and I’ve never felt so confident and sure in my body. I just wish I invested the time in my 20s, too!"
12."Not taking school more seriously. My priorities were others."
13."Late 20s, but something I regret from my early 20s is not dedicating time to career growth. Almost 30, and it feels like I'm starting from 0."
14."Not developing a workout routine."
15."Hanging out with people whose views and beliefs didn’t align with mine. I also grew up very poor and have a soft spot for people who are poor, yet I’m friends with people who would mock them and don’t believe poor kids deserve to eat free lunch. I’m 29/30, and it’s lonely since I’ve started cutting off friends. Your 20s matter, and who you hang out with matters!"
16."Not trying to do 'the thing.' In my case, it was a music career. When you’re young, you’re supposed to take chances, at least to a degree. Whether you want to be a musician, comedian, actor, artist, etc., you should try to follow your passion and make a go at doing 'the thing' at least once. I'm not saying you can’t when you’re older, but it’s much easier to find your tribe and surround yourself with like-minded individuals when you’re younger. I came pretty close, but the fear and insecurity won and turned me into a total normie who still has passion and interest, but I’m older, have more responsibilities and less energy, and would have a harder time bouncing back from failure."
"If you’re young and thinking of trying to do 'the thing' with your passion, you have a higher chance of success today than you will tomorrow, and you should do it before you end up looking back and wondering."
17."I played it safe in my 20s and probably could've taken a few more risks."
18."Not having financial literacy by 25 to 28. Financial literacy on basic things such as term insurance, health insurance, and a certain amount to be saved from salary before spending. Upskilling yourself to diverse functions."
19."Wasted my time being shy, meek, and never asking for what I want. This lead me to have less drive and less success."
20."I neglected to nurture friendships once my late 20s rolled around. Became hyper-focused on work and catching up financially, which did pay off. I’m doing very well financially at 35 and have almost guaranteed that I won’t have to work past the age of 50 if I don’t want to. Or I can career downshift significantly in the next 10 years, but that comfort is fleeting. Now that I’m in my mid-30s, my friends are pretty much all married and have kids. I neglected the relationship so much that things just aren’t the same for those who aren't married. I’m married, so I’m not completely lonely. But I miss my bros."
21."Throwing myself into my job like I had infinite time to live later."
22."Not taking advantage of the social aspect of college more, especially dating. I was too content gaming in my dorm and keeping the same friend group I established after my first few years. Making new friends and dating in my 30s has been tough. I took for granted how easy it was to meet new people every semester in my classes."
23."Drinking like I did at the end of my 20s. It’s the one thing in my life that had exactly zero positive benefits when I look back. There has never been a situation I’ve been in where it would have TRULY been better with alcohol, but I’ve been in a whole lot that would have ended better without a single sip of it."
24."Pissed away 18–23 by not learning how to manage my ADHD, often coped by drinking a lot, which spiraled and made all my self-esteem issues worse, which I coped with more alcohol. I knew I had a problem, but ultimately, it was joining the military and getting out of my environment and bad habits that allowed me to break the negative cycle. Those four years were like a long reset for me. I'm in my early 30s now, and in many ways, I feel as far along as I should have been at 23. Though I have benefited from the military, I'd trade it all to have that time back but better mental health."
25."Wasn't out there socializing and meeting people as much as I should have. It gets a lot harder after your 20s."
26."Being a fuck boy."
27."I regret not finishing college the first time. Life is still good, but that first decision not to stick out from an accomplishment had snowballing effects throughout the following 15 years. I think the lesson for today and the future is to be aware of opportunities and how completing difficult tasks might have unknown repercussions."
28."Working myself to death and not enjoying my time with friends."
29."Letting other people determine my self-worth. Someone is always doing better financially, romantically, or more physically attractive. You can’t compare yourself against those people. Compare yourself to who you were last month. Grant yourself some grace. Work toward being the best version of yourself inside and out. That’s the way to having a lot of self-worth."
30."Barely 30 here. Spent too much time obsessing over dating in the shittiest ways. I didn't realize dating apps became as bad as they are, then when I did find a relationship, I death-gripped that shit because I didn't want to do it again. Now, at 30, I wish I would have just played the field, not thinking about commitments, just enjoying myself as I am. Now I don't even know really what I want out of life anymore."
31."Worked too hard. Burnt out harder. I developed several chronic mental health issues, chronic stress, physical health issues, insomnia, and overall hatred for life. Thirty-four now and still dealing with it, only slightly better."
32."Not being able to tell when a girl was lustful over me. I got attractive in my early 20s, started lifting weights, and got into bodybuilding. Girls would randomly rub my arms and stomach without my permission. I thought they were just being nice. I wasn’t used to girls being like guys and just seeing me as a piece of meat. I am a piece of meat. I just didn’t know I was."
33."Took the advice of '20s are your best years to take risks,' and it didn't work out (was unlikely to either way). Like most people say, it didn't set me back too crazily since it was still in my 20s, but I can't help but feel more behind and feel like I'm spending my 30s making up for that mistake."
34.And finally, "Being too afraid of doing the wrong thing that I just didn’t do anything."
Is there anything else you could add to this list? If so, share it with me in the comments below!
