How We Pulled It Off: An Anti-Wedding in the Icelandic Highlands

Olav Stubberud

Alyssa Bonanno and Will Mayer were never going to have a traditional destination wedding. The couple—who met in Chicago, reconnected in Los Angeles, and now live in New York City—are the founders of branding agency and production company Better Half, and thus are well-versed in creating ambitious visuals for big-name companies like Nike and Spotify. When they got engaged in November 2022, they had some unique goals for their nuptials: namely, to generate a bit of “friction” for their guests.

“I wanted to make everybody go somewhere they hadn't been before, pull them out of their comfort zone, and then give them something incredibly memorable,” says Will, whose background is in cinematography. Choosing Iceland for their destination celebration was an easy decision. “It's one of our favorite places in the world, and people always are surprised by it,” says Alyssa. “We wanted to show them all it has to offer.” Planning their event like a video shoot, the pair designed an unforgettable trip for their 80 guests in September 2024 that spanned the island nation, from a welcome dinner in Reykjavík to rest stops around waterfalls to a wedding day with a tattoo artist and midnight hot dogs. Here’s how they pulled off an anti-wedding of sorts in the Land of Fire and Ice.

Don’t hire vendors from the wedding industry

This advice might be reckless for any people who don’t specialize in visual production, but the couple opted not to hire anyone who’d worked on a wedding before (with minor exceptions for the officiant and cake baker). “Our one rule for the wedding was we didn’t want it to be a wedding,” Will says. They brought on Kristín Larsdóttir Dahl, an Icelandic film producer who splits her time between Berlin and Reykjavík, and entrusted with hiring her own production partners and personal friends, as with the art direction from Studio Procrastinate and Mirra Elísabet Valdísardóttir, who led a yoga class for guests the morning of the wedding.

In the process of bringing on vendors via Kristín, the couple had created a 20-page treatment describing the event’s desired visual style via mood boards and references, which included recent Jacquemus fashion shows that integrated elements of nature, and James Bond films from the 1960s. “We had exactly the core components we wanted for a tablescape. We had how we wanted people to feel,” says Alyssa. Key hires also included the fashion photographers Louis Browne and Olav Stubberud.

Find a jaw-dropping venue

The entire population of Iceland is less than 400,000—so it was a bit of a challenge to find an event space large enough to fit their group. The couple focused on hotels, as they hoped to house all their guests in one place in a buyout far from Reykjavík to take advantage of the otherworldly landscapes elsewhere on the island; then Kristín heard about a hotel being built in the Highlands.

“It was [still] under construction, a complete mess when we found it. But we were like, ‘Let’s just commit,’” Will says. The Highland Base Hotel, located over four hours from Reykjavík amid the volcanic Kerlingarfjöll area, is only accessible via 4x4 jeeps in colder months. “Again, friction!” the groom jokes. Aside from the resort’s sleek, modern exterior and wood-clad minimalist interior, it also offered access to a natural hot spring, a cold plunge, sauna, and views of the Ásgarðsá river and mountains. Plus, it had enough rooms not just for their guests but for the musicians and other vendors present for the wedding who needed overnight accommodations given the remote location.

Prepare for worst-case scenario weather

On a typical September day in Reykjavík, temperatures hover around the low-50s and skies are often gray and rainy. What the couple didn’t really consider until they’d already booked the hotel, though, was its location thousands of feet up in the mountains. “A few weeks out of the wedding, we started looking at the historical weather data and there was an 80% chance of snow. Winds could be anywhere between 10 to 50 miles an hour, and it could be as cold as -10 degrees Fahrenheit,” Will says. All of which would make it really difficult to get 80 guests to the Highlands.

All they could do was cross their fingers and prepare their loved ones. “We did a lot of educating people about base layers. ‘Please get smart wool. Please come with mittens. We are not kidding,’” Alyssa says. Luck was ultimately in their favor: Their time in the Highlands was beautiful and sunny, in the low 40s. Just days after they left, the area was hit by four feet of snow.

Plan around Iceland’s liquor laws

Iceland has a complicated history with liquor: Because prohibition lasted until 1989, alcoholic beverages can only be purchased in state-run stores, and taxes on imported alcohol are among the highest in the world. To keep the budget under control, the couple worked out a corkage fee with the hotel and imported some of their own, and then encouraged their friends to each bring the maximum legal limit of wine and spirits in their luggage.

Plan the most incredible itinerary

Because they were grateful their friends and family were traveling so far for their nuptials, Will and Alyssa set out to plan and execute a tight schedule of activities across four days. The fun started as soon as guests landed, when private transport whisked each group to the Blue Lagoon upon arrival before dropping them at their hotel. Dinner that night was held at an eclectic restaurant with food the couple loves called Hosiló, followed by welcome drinks at Röntgen, a hangout popular with locals that a waitress had recommended to them on a previous trip years ago. As a fun bonus, the two venues were connected by a secret underground corridor through the restaurant’s kitchen.

The next morning, a bus picked up the whole group, with pastries provided by Brauð & Co to head to the Highland Base Hotel four hours away. They stopped for lunch and to hike around the Gjáin, Háifoss, and Hjálparfos waterfalls, with another stop in the afternoon to see the Geysir Hot Springs.

“It was curated from all of our trips to Iceland the years prior,” Will says. “We also hired some local guides, because we thought it was important to educate guests geographically and culturally.” After the wedding, the couple also arranged transport back to Reykjavík for those staying longer, or directly to Keflavík International Airport if they were jetting out.

Embrace local tradition

The couple’s wedding day itself was also packed with offerings for guests to take in yet more of the abundant natural beauty nearby, including hiking or mountain biking in the Hveradalir geothermal area or dipping in the on-site hot springs. But the outdoor ceremony along the river showcased the culture of Iceland, as when the couple took part in the hand-fasting ritual that bound their hands together with a ribbon, or drank glacial water from a glass horn blown by friends of theirs. In addition to their DJ, a New York-based friend named Woody Cook, a local band called Inspector Spacetime was enlisted. Late in the evening, guests were revived with a very Icelandic snack: hot dogs and chocolate milk.

The interiors, too, celebrated Iceland, thanks to Studio Procrastinate. “We worked with them to figure out how we could bring parts of nature inside, because unfortunately it was too cold to eat outside,” Alyssa says. Flowers native to the Highlands were picked and preserved months earlier, and accented on the tablescapes with volcanic rock collected nearby. The studio built a light fixture with local grasses they personally dried, and scattered dry ice created a haze around the space such that, “the room almost felt like it was breathing,” the bride continues.

Sow camaraderie among the guests

In case being trapped hours from civilization in a lunar landscape or hiking and hot springing together for days wasn’t enough bonding, Will and Alyssa united their group by staging a game of Assassins, where each guest was assigned another guest they had to hunt down (and thus meet) and shoot. “I ended up flying in with a duffle bag of 85 Nerf guns,” Will says. “Our art direction duo made a signature scent for the wedding, so when everyone checked into their room there was this beautiful card, a signature scent, and then this ugly orange and blue Nerf gun with a bow tied around it that told them who they were assigned to.”

And at the reception, guests had the opportunity to seal their new friendships forever: A tattoo artist, Brynjar Björnsson, was stationed at the party. While the couple assumed maybe a handful of guests would get inked, nearly half decided to get tattoos on the spot, including the groom.

Look up to the sky

It’s not the kind of detail even these type-A planners could have arranged, but on their wedding night, as the party wore on, the Northern Lights danced across the sky. The phenomenon’s typical season had only started the week before, in mid-September, so the couple could only hope for the display they got. Says Will, “We were partying to these bands, and then everyone realized the whole sky was green.” As yet another stroke of luck, they’d later learn the 2024-2025 winter season was set to be the strongest for active auroras in a decade.

Originally Appeared on Condé Nast Traveler

The Latest Stories from Condé Nast Traveler

• Want to be the first to know? Sign up to our newsletters for travel inspiration and tips

• Thanksgiving in Paris Is One of the Most American Things You Can Do

• 15 Unwritten Rules to Know Before Visiting New York City

• Welcome to Park Ranger Instagram—the Most Wholesome Corner of the Internet