Too many toys is bad for kids — and parents, too. Here’s how to feel less overwhelmed (and clear out the clutter).
Legos for days; endless stuffed animals; a replica of every dinosaur that ever existed. Wall-to-wall toys can be a parent’s personal hell — of our own creation. Maybe you can’t say no to other families’ hand-me-downs, or your own parents insist on spoiling the grandkids with huge hauls. Or maybe you’re the problem. (No judgment! Who isn’t tempted to treat their kids with cute stuff?).
But when we’ve reached the point where even our dogs apparently have too many toys, it may be time to sit down and have a toy clutter intervention. Here’s how the kiddie chaos is increasing parents’ stress levels, and what to do about it.
Toy overload: How did we get here?
Children entertaining themselves with toys is, of course, nothing new; playthings like dolls, kites and toy instruments have been popular in the U.S. for hundreds of years. But for much of history, toys were often homemade and, for most children, usually few and far between. It’s only relatively recently that many parents have found themselves buried in their kids’ stuff.
“Since the end of World War II and the prosperity boom that happened in the 1950s, the proliferation of stuff has accelerated,” Andrew Mellen, a professional organizer and author of Unstuff Your Life!: Kick the Clutter Habit and Completely Organize Your Life for Good, tells Yahoo Life. “The country was flush with cash, and people were excited about ‘giving their kids a better life than they had.’”
The cheaper mass-production of toys put more playthings within reach of the average family — who also had more time for leisure and entertainment than ever before.
Mellen observes that while ads in magazines and commercials on TV had content marketed toward kids, “it wasn't in your face 700 times a day.” That’s no longer the case today, thanks to the internet and social media.
“Modern parenting comes with a unique challenge: quick and easy access to just about anything,” Tanisha Lyons-Porter, a professional organizer and owner of Natural Born Organizers, LLC, tells Yahoo Life. “Whether it’s an ad on YouTube or a toy spotted in a store, the ability to buy on impulse has created a tidal wave of stuff that can easily overwhelm our homes.”
And all that stuff doesn’t just crowd our literal space; too many toys is also bad for the headspace and mental health of kids and parents alike. Chaos and toy clutter can create “mental clutter,” make it difficult to concentrate and even lead to less healthy eating choices. One recent study found that having too many toys can stifle a child’s creativity, shorten attention spans and even hinder the development of essential life skills.
“A cluttered living space can contribute to a distracted mind — something parents don’t want for themselves or their kids,” Dr. Elias Aboujaoude, chief of the Anxiety Disorders Section and director of the OCD Clinic at Stanford University, tells Yahoo Life. “It may also encourage a consumerist attitude by suggesting that happiness is to be found in possessions — something parents don’t necessarily want to nurture in their children.”
How you can purge and organize toys without creating more stress
Creating some order from the chaos may seem like a daunting task, but if you’re ready to solve your own personal toy crisis, experts say there’s a way to do so while maintaining your sanity.
Start small. Sarit Weiss, founder and lead organizer of Neat & Orderly, tells Yahoo Life she suggests starting with the tiniest spot in a room — or even just one drawer — and going from there. “Pick one little space to start organizing, and make sure you're not getting sidetracked,” Weiss says.
“Think like a teacher.” Designate a specific basket or box for certain toys, and stick with it. “Think like a teacher,” Lyons-Porter says. “Create zones, similar to a classroom, where kids know exactly where things belong.” And not all toys need to be at floor level or easily accessible (trying to organize that way could just stress you out even more, Lyons-Porter says). Instead, prioritize having toys within reach that you know your child loves and uses the most.
Have “drop zones” for when you’re in a pinch. If you don’t have time to put something away, throw it in a “drop zone” until you’re ready. “These are quick-cleanup baskets where you can stash toys during busy times,” Lyons-Porter explains. “Later, you can reset and return items to their proper place — like every Sunday before the start of a new week.”
Avoid micro-organizing. Stick to organization tactics that you and your kid can actually follow easily (i.e., you’ll drive yourself crazy if you try to keep Legos organized by color, Lyons-Porter says). Mellen adds: “Parents like lids. Kids don't. So if you want all of the plush toys back in a tub, don't put a lid on the tub. If you obscure it, they're not going to remember which tub it is, and they'll just drop it on the floor and walk away.”
Abide by the “one-in-one-out” rule. It’s not as easy as it sounds, but try to live by the tried-and-true “one-in-one-out” rule — meaning that “when you get something new, you recycle or donate something else,” Weiss says.
Set up a donation box at home. Have a designated place to put things you’re ready to donate, and feel free to use it for unwanted gifts. “If someone insists on giving you quality hand-me-downs, place them directly in the donation box if you don’t need them,” Lyons-Porter says.
Check in regularly. Regularly schedule “decluttering sessions” throughout the year. “When my kids were younger, we’d review and purge their toys twice a year: before the holidays and before their birthdays,” Lyons-Porter says. “This routine made it easier to identify toys that were broken, [had] missing pieces, outgrown or no longer a hit.”
And how to resist the urge to collect more toys
It’s not just about the literal act of purging your home. Solving the root cause of the problem by committing to taking in less toys and stuff requires some inner work that isn’t easy — but experts say is beneficial for your health and well-being. Here’s how to get started.
Do some self-reflection. Aboujaoude acknowledges that resisting the urge to collect more stuff has never been more difficult, and that the ease of online shopping “has caused this problem to explode in many families.” So before making a purchase, he suggests stepping back. “Before acting on the impulse to buy that next toy, parents should ask themselves what is behind this behavior and what its unintended consequences might be for them and their children,” Aboujaoude says. You should also reevaluate what you’re choosing to hang on to out of nostalgia. “Parents who have difficulty getting rid of children’s toys for sentimental reasons or feel a ‘responsibility’ to save mementos that their kids will appreciate in the future should ask themselves whether this behavior is driven by hoarding tendencies,” he adds. If you’re looking for ways to keep more childhood mementos, get creative; taking photos of your kid’s artwork, for example, is a way to be able to look back on past sketches without hanging on to hundreds of pieces of paper.
Talk to your kids about your family’s priorities. The temptation to buy newer, better toys will always be there, so don’t hide from it. “Unless you pull your kids off of social media, they're going to be exposed to things,” Mellen says. “So this is an opportunity for parenting.” Instead of avoiding the issue, talk to your child about the allure of online advertising and how it may not align with your family’s values — whatever they may be. Mellen suggests making clear to yourself and to your child what it is that your family does value: like spending money on experiences over stuff, or saving up for special purchases.
Say “no.” It’s OK to say “no” to things you don’t need — like stuff your kid is asking for, or to those little knickknacks everyone gives out at birthday parties. “Skip the goodie bag,” Lyons-Porter says. “Politely decline, if it’s full of trinkets that will inevitably clutter your home or car. Most kids lose interest in these items quickly.” If a grandparent or other loved one insists on giving a gift, you can also suggest they gift your child with an experience like going out for ice cream or to an amusement park, or even contributing to a college savings account.
Learn to let go. Take a leaf from the book of the Japanese minimalist Marie Kondo and discard anything that you know doesn’t add value to your life or home anymore. “Frame it as self-care,” Lyons-Porter says. “Be open about your efforts to pare down for the sake of your mental health and wellness.”
