Woman Gets Invited to Friend's Wedding Shower, But Not the Wedding: 'I Feel So Used'

A woman is questioning if she is in the wrong for taking it personally after some bridal shower attendees were invited to the main event but she was not

A woman is looking for answers after her friend invited her to her wedding shower — but not the wedding.

According to a Reddit user in the r/WeddingShaming subreddit, the woman explained she was overjoyed when she found out her friend was getting married and was happy to support her.

"I was excited for her!" the user wrote in the post on Sunday, Nov. 24.

The user explained that to begin preparing for her friend's big day, she asked the bride's mother when the wedding date was, but her mom revealed that only immediate family would be invited.

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"To celebrate with everyone, there will be a shower and she requested that everyone bring non-perishable foods to stock their pantry and other things for the house," the user said, recalling her conversation with the bride's mom ahead of her shower and noting that there was also a wedding registry. "I really did respect that it was immediate family at the wedding. The shower was nice."

But before long, the Redditor began to suspect that something weird was going on, as "mutual friends who had attended the shower [asked] if I would be at the wedding as well on the day of the wedding."

"No," she continued, remembering how she responded to questions about attending the wedding. "I hadn't been invited and was told it was for immediate family."

After the wedding, which the Redditor said took place just one day before she shared her post, she began to feel "used," and noted in a reply later on that she only found out her friends were attending on the day of the ceremony.

"Am I being too sensitive for taking it personal?" she asked, posing the question to her fellow Redditors. "I feel so...used. I wish her well but I feel like since the wedding shower had such a small attendance why not invite everyone there."

"Am I good enough to give gifts but not be apart of this important day?" she finished the candid post. "I can't help but feel a twinge of feeling left out and hurt."

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The wedding community immediately took the user's side, writing that the bride's behavior was "tacky" and a "gift grab."

"Yeah. That’s a cash grab through and through," one reply read.

"The hard part is they are so nice and don't seem greedy at all. I have kind of viewed them differently after this," the original poster (OP) wrote back.

Another reply shared a similar story, recalling how their niece behaved similarly.

"I was told I would be invited to the shower, but the wedding would be really small and only immediate family would be invited," the reply stated. "Except it wasn't 'really small' and one of her sisters let slip that they invited about 100 people. Just not us. I didn't go to the shower and I didn't send a gift."

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"It’s rude as hell to invite someone to the shower but not the wedding," another Redditor replied. "That’s just a gift grab. They’re effectively telling you 'we'll happily use you to get more gifts but we don’t care enough about you to have you at the wedding.' It’s especially hurtful if they were lying about the wedding being close family only."

For the OP, the incident has soured her relationship with both the bride and her new husband.

"They wont be hearing much from me," she revealed. "If they invite me to the baby shower you better believing I'm hitting that decline button so fast. I will not be interacting with them any longer."