Woman Says She Doesn't Want to Take in Her Sister's Kids, Despite Them 'Not Going to Have Anywhere to Live'
A woman on Reddit wrote candidly about feeling stuck after her nieces asked if they and their mom could live with her
A woman is questioning everything about her family and her relationship with her nieces after her sister asked her to take them in.
In a post shared to Reddit's "Am I The A------?" forum on Thursday, Jan. 23, the 35-year-old woman opened up about the difficult situation she found herself in when her sister, 32, asked her to take in her three girls, ages 13, 9 and 7.
"Me and my husband (37) have been married for 3 years. We do not have children, nor have we ever wanted children. We love our child-free life," she writes. "I love [my nieces] very much but I've never been the aunt that wants them to spend the night or spend time more than a couple hours with them. They stress me out, all kids do lol."
The Reddit user got candid about the three girls' difficult living situation, opening up about their difficult home life living with her sister.
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"My sister is an addict and my nieces' dad is currently in prison," she writes. "Their grandma, who is also my mother but I have no contact with, has guardianship of them. That story we'll save for another post."
"My sister, who comes in and out of the girls' lives, has had nothing to do with me," she continues, adding that the story is complicated and that they have a "very toxic family environment." "Once in a while she'll reach out and say 'hi,' but that's more like two times a year, even though I reach out once a week."
Here's where her dilemma stems from — according to the Redditor, her sister and her daughters' home was sold, and they were told in November last year that they have until Jan. 31 to be out of their house.
"So today, Jan. 31, they had my 13 year old niece call me and tell me they're not going to have anywhere to live if I don't take them in," she reveals. "Yes, they had the 13 year call me and say that."
"I don't know what to do," she adds, clarifying how stuck she feels in this position. "I don't want to change up mine and my husband's life. I love they way our life is. I'm so mentally drained. I don't want the responsibility and don't feel like it's mine but I also feel guilty."
The user writes that she's been dealing with problems like this in her family for years, considering both her parents were addicts — as she puts it, she deals "with others' messes" and she's fallen into the same "toxic cycle with my sister."
The AITA community was quick to reassure her that she is not in the wrong for feeling stuck and not wanting to take in her nieces.
"Not the a------," one commenter writes. "Unless you're 100% wanting to do this, it's a no. You'll traumatize the kids even further being an unhappy guardian. When your niece called, did you demand to speak with their guardian? That's ridiculous they put a child in this predicament."
Others agreed, reasoning that the situation could quickly become extremely complicated and dangerous, considering that the Redditor would have no legal guardianship, power to make the kids go to school or obtain any social services. An additional commenter even calling the poster's sister asking her 13-year-old daughter to call her "disgustingly manipulative."
"It’s heartbreaking, but this isn’t your responsibility," another reply reads. "They put a 13-year-old in the middle to guilt-trip you, which is manipulative. You’re allowed to prioritize your life and mental health. If you want to help, look into resources or housing programs for them, but saying no doesn’t make you a bad person..."
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