"I've Been Dating Married Men For 10 Years Now": Women Share Their Stories Of Sleeping With Taken Men
People carry out affairs for several reasons, whether it's because they're simply dealing with a struggling marriage or they're looking for a thrill.
However, the people who seek out extramarital relationships often lie about their marital status in the first place. This leaves the "other person" under the impression that their relationship is much more than what it actually is.
We recently asked the Buzzfeed Community to share their experiences sleeping with men in relationships. Here's what they had to say:
Note: BuzzFeed isn't able to verify the claims below.
1."I've been dating married men for 10 years now."
"So I've slept with a few. Married men and I are willing to give one another the same thing. It's great! Best 'relationships' I've ever been in. Low maintenance, high fun! I think people would be surprised by just how many people are cheating out there. If you are gonna mess around with a married person, you have to be okay with not being a top priority. If you're looking for a future spouse, go find someone single."
–Anonymous
2."It’s been a few years and I still can’t forgive myself for being part of that."
"I started seeing a guy who told me he was divorced. I don’t like to pry early on so I didn’t press for exact details. He told me things, and it all just built towards being divorced. But he left out that there was another marriage with kids after that one. It was probably two months before I found out. He told me their relationship had been dead for years, they live separate lives but in the same house and just coparent their very young kids until they could figure out a formal split. I wish I had ended it there, but I didn’t. It went on for over 2 years, during which he did formally separate from his wife. It’s been a few years, and I still can’t forgive myself for being part of that."
–Audrea, 41
3."All I could think about was his poor wife, and why the heck I was doing what I did."
"I felt a lot of guilt. I went to school with the guy, and his wife I was friends with on Facebook and would chat to her sometimes. All I could think about was his poor wife, and why the heck I was doing what I did. I did stop it though, after 2-3 times. He messaged me a few times in later months and years, twice was when he was drunk, and once was threatening me with telling his wife (ex-wife by this time).
I blocked him on all platforms, and his wife separated from him, and to be honest, she’s better off without him. He’d slept with other women whilst he was married to her and it wouldn’t surprise me if she found out.
They have a child together, and when they were trying, he had the nerve to ask me if I had anything that could’ve passed on to him, more like the other way around, with all the women he’d been with 🤦🏼♀️."
4."I was the other woman without knowing it."
"In the Marines, many service members marry in order to cash in on some decent pay incentives. Some will marry friends; others will marry other members because then they both get more money. Adultery also happens to be a punishable offense. The circumstances do not matter. When I found out the guy I was dating was married to a friend, so he could send her money, I flipped out and ended things. He couldn’t seem to understand why I was upset! Sorry, no dick is worth the consequences, which includes a reduction in rank and a pay cut. Nope. No thank you."
5."My first serious relationship after my divorce was with a cop."
"He talked all the time about having to help his daughter’s mother do this and that, only to eventually confess that his daughter’s mother was actually his wife. He knew what I went through, and he intentionally put me in the position of being the other woman — and after all that, he played the victim when I broke up with him."
6."He told me how his wife passed away, and he is going through a rough time. For three years, I had no idea he was married."
"I was casually seeing someone. We both were looking for something different relationship-wise, and we agreed that if we found someone serious, we would end what we had. Three years have gone by, and all of a sudden, he ghosted me. I figured he found someone, and he was too scared to say anything. Four months later, he asked to meet up. I agreed just for closure.
He told me how his wife passed away and that he was going through a rough time.
Excuse me? Your WHAT?!
For three years I had no idea he was married. I feel like crap, this poor lady who was sick was being cheated on. Who does that?"
7."He was married and had a whole life in New Zealand."
"Dated someone for a full month in NY only to find out (very long story short) that he was married and had a whole life in New Zealand. I felt disgusted and angry. I figured hey, if I were the wife, I would want to know. Google and FB brought me to her quickly and easily. She was glad I told her. They got divorced. No regrets here… but I would NEVER knowingly date a married man. I am big on monogamy."
8."It was very thrilling. At the same time, I felt no remorse towards my boyfriend because it was like giving him a taste of his own medicine."
"I eventually fell for the guy, but it didn’t really work out since his girlfriend at the time was 'the love of his life.' We still had communication up until 2022. Now he is trying to contact me again. Honestly, he is the type of risk I am willing to take. He brings out another side of me that I never felt. He makes me feel so strong and weak at the same time. But the thing is, I know he’s not seeing a relationship with me."
–Anonymous
9."The kinkiest/best lovers."
"Exhilarating! My favorite were men who loved their wives but wanted some on the side. They were the kinkiest/best lovers and had the best fantasies that I loved to indulge them with."
10."I am a hotwife and have been with several married men."
"I’m in a situationship that has lasted on and off for six years. We are in it for mutual sexual enjoyment only, no feelings. His wife isn’t into sex. I sometimes think that he has had this secret experience with me all these years and is into kinky stuff his wife knows nothing about, and he feels he can’t tell her. I feel bad for him that he can’t fully be himself in his marriage and that the sex isn’t good. I know he loves his wife, she just can’t give him the satisfying sexual experiences we’ve had. I met him on a dating site, and he’s cheated with many others."
–Anonymous
11."Me and my coworker are both married, and we hook up from time to time; we travel on business together a lot."
"We both have a mutual understanding; we're not leaving our partners; we just like to have fun from time to time and satisfy each other's needs. This has been going on for three years now."
–Anonymous
12."I was in a relationship with this guy and we were six months in when I found out he was married."
"How’d I find out? Oh, his wife showed up unannounced and took a hammer to my car window. It didn’t bother me at first because he didn’t act married, but over time, it got harder and harder to ignore that. We stayed together for six years before it was clear he wasn’t leaving her, and I finally left. I heard from him eight months later, he claims they are getting divorced now….six+ years later. Too late buddy."
–Anonymous
13."His wife had their baby during our affair."
"I tried to end it before the baby came, but he told me he loved me and nothing would change. A month after he became a dad, he ended it for fear of losing his kid. This has been the hardest heartbreak to recover from in my life."
–Anonymous
14."Honestly, it’s refreshing to know it was genuinely casual and not having someone getting needy and catching feels."
15."We were dating for almost a year when we ended up getting pregnant, and that’s when I found out he had a woman, who he had been with for five years."
"She took care of him while he was down, put money on his books, even bought him a car when he got out. All of the red flags I missed — He NEVER posted me on social media, I never met his family, and we never went out unless it was after work. He’d spend the night, but not all the time. I completely missed the little things because I was trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. I felt like a home wrecker. I felt dumb. I was the coworker who got knocked up. His girl (ex now, I guess) repoed his car, I ended up having my baby boy, he’s happy and healthy, and I still see his dad at work."
–Anonymous
16."I had a backpacking affair with a guy I met while traveling in SE Asia. He had a long-term girlfriend whom he loved very much, but a month in the tropics brought us close, and we ended up sleeping together every night for a week or two."
"He would speak to his girl back at home on FaceTime every day. I really got feelings, and when he left to meet her for a holiday in Europe, I was devastated. I knew we wouldn’t have worked long term but I wanted him so badly. He really was just a good person who made a massive fuck up. He told me he was going to tell her — we agreed she deserved honesty — but surprise surprise, he chickened out and never told her. I believe they’re still together a year after our fling, she's still in the dark. Still makes me sad for myself and her."
17."He’s actually my ex and the love of my life."
"When we reconnected, I was in a relationship. He was married. I thought the affair was a quick one-time physical fling. He wanted more. He said he was in an almost loveless and toxic marriage with very little intimacy. I believed him and still do. I witnessed a few interactions between him and his wife. We decided to try to make a full-blown relationship out of it. We were in love, but he didn’t want to leave his wife because of their children. I didn’t want to ask him to leave because I felt he should independently choose me, and I didn’t want the potential guilt of being the catalyst that separated him from his kids.
It lasted over a year, but we couldn’t make it work. I wasn’t getting what I needed from him in terms of companionship and non-sexual intimacy. There was always the stress of 'What if she finds out and takes the kids?' I couldn’t blame him for that fear. He’s an awesome dad, and I would never want him to lose his kids. He’s still the love of my life. I love him deeply, purely, and with all of my heart. It’s the most complete love I’ve ever felt. I don’t think I’ll ever love anyone as much as I love him. Unfortunately for me, that stood for nothing in the end."
–Anonymous
18."He was my boss, and I thought he was the most wonderful man on the planet. What I didn’t know was that he was a pathological liar and serial womanizer."
"He knew I had a crush on him and pursued me, confiding in me about how his marriage was only show and they were not really together. I believed him, he was so sincere. I fell deeply in love with him, keeping it a secret because of our working relationship. We took trips together, and he met my family. It took some years for the realization to sink in. I heard rumors and gossip about other women, and he always convinced me crazy women made up the stories. I started to feel as if I was going insane, living with paranoia and distrust. I found messages and photos from other girls, one of the women (a co-worker) calling him out because she’d found out his wife was pregnant! Apparently, she (his wife) had seduced him one time, and it ‘just happened.' I resent him so much for those years he stole from me when I could have invested time in someone who deserved me. I feel very stupid for believing him."
–Anonymous
19.And finally, "Although he was married, happily in all other areas, his wife had had some awful medical issues, and sex was very painful for her; she didn't mind him getting sex elsewhere as long as he was safe, didn't get attached, and always came home to her. She also never wanted to hear about his partner/partners/adventures. They moved away a few years ago, so I don't see him anymore. His sex drive was as high as my own; the sex was phenomenal, and everyone knew where they stood."
–Anonymous
