7 daily habits to find inner calm when life gets too much
Being a mum of two young girls, as well as working full time, I often feel like I am chasing time.
I have always believed as women that we are superwomen and can do it all, and most days we can. But is this too much for our nervous system?
For me, it all came to a halt a few months back when I felt like I had hit a brick wall. I was exhausted and overwhelmed by it all.
Truth be told, with all the juggling I was doing, I wasn't taking time out to rest, heal and find my calm. Instead, I felt burnt out and overstimulated, putting my body into 'fight or flight' mode. This in turn had overworked my sympathetic nervous system and I knew it was time for me to reset.
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What is our sympathetic nervous system?
For those of you who aren't familiar, our sympathetic nervous system is essential for surviving. It is best known for its role in responding to dangerous or stressful situations in life.
In these situations, your sympathetic nervous system activates to speed up your heart rate and deliver more blood to areas of your body that need more oxygen to help you get away from danger.
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However, if you are constantly stressed or burnt out, the sympathetic nervous system can become stuck in fight or flight mode which can lead to a variety of issues such as disturbed sleep, irritability and a less resilient stress response.
This can also lead to increased levels of stress hormones, such as cortisol and adrenaline, being released into the bloodstream. How can we help this? My answer is to help our parasympathetic nervous system wake up, which in turn brings the calm within.
Waking up your parasympathetic nervous system
Your parasympathetic nervous system does the opposite of your sympathetic nervous system. It brings calm to your body after periods of stress and danger.
It helps your body to relax and conserve energy and acts as an antidote to the effects of stress, created by the sympathetic nervous system.
One of the key secrets I share with my patients to help them feel calm each day is to wake up their vagus nerve, which is a major part of our parasympathetic nervous system.
The vagus nerve
The vagus nerve starts at the brain and runs through the face and thorax (which holds the heart, lungs and major blood vessels) to the abdomen. It helps to counteract the fight or flight mode of the sympathetic nervous system and bring back the calm.
One of the simplest ways to stimulate this nerve is by humming, what you hum to doesn't matter. The more often you hum, the more this nerve is strengthened.
This activates your parasympathetic nervous system, helping your body to relax and get to a place of calm. The more often you do it, the calmer you will be, however, if you feel more stimulated, stop humming and try it again another time.
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Other ways to stimulate the vagus nerve and the parasympathetic nervous system include gargling, singing, cold water immersion, meditation and listening to the sound of birds.
Some of the above may get forgotten during your day-to-day life, however, something we do daily is breathing - and taking deep breaths can help bring you to a state of calm.
Before sleep, I always do a deep breathing exercise. Not only does it help stimulate the vagus nerve, it also helps me fall asleep quicker.
Practice the following in a place where you feel comfortable.
My breathing practice
Breathe in through your nose for four seconds, hold this breath at the top of your inhale for four seconds then through your mouth for four seconds.
You can sigh at the end of your exhale for further vagal nerve stimulation. Repeat this till you feel relaxed.
In the words of Deepak Chopra: "Meditation makes the world go into a field of coherence."
Whether you choose to breathe it out, hum it out or sing it out, calming your nervous system is essential for your daily life from relationships to we balance and coping methods.
The next time you feel you don't have any time for yourself, remember this is the time you most likely need it most.
