Bride Says Fiancé's Wish for a 400-Person Wedding ‘Makes Me Want to Crawl into a Corner and Hide’

• A woman asked Reddit users if she was in the wrong for wanting her fiancé to cut his guest list down from 400 people to 200 people

• She wrote that she's never met most of the people her fiancé wants at their wedding, and that he barely interacts with them. She told him she would be socially anxious surrounded by so many strangers, but he got defensive and accused her of not valuing his friendships

• Redditors took the woman's side and said that the groom-to-be is treating the wedding as if it were a networking event without any care for the bride-to-be's feelings

A bride-to-be wants her fiancé to cut his wedding guest list in half.

The woman, 31, explained in a post on Reddit's popular "Am I the A------?" forum that she and her fiancé, 32, butted heads when they began making their wedding guest list together. The couple of two and a half years are opposites, with the groom-to-be described as a "very social guy," having made a lot of friends and business connections in the restaurant industry over the last decade. In contrast, the bride-to-be keeps her social circle small.

"I get over-stimulated easily and have to prepare for big group interactions, and usually can only last a few hours before I need to wander off and recharge a little," the woman wrote.

She continued to note that if she had it her way, she'd have an intimate wedding celebration. When she initially drafted her wedding guest list, she only had 45-50 people, which includes the friends she shares with her fiancé and their plus ones. Conversely, her fiancé's list had almost a whopping 400 people.

"This includes people who he’s met in business and wants to essentially 'shake hands and kiss babies' with," the poster said, adding, "There are a significant number of people on the list that I have never even met, some I haven’t even heard of before this list … some people he only exchanges 'happy birthday' with every year and says they 'need' to be at the wedding."

Although the poster wrote that she has "a hard time justifying paying $250+ per person" on people she's never met and who her fiancé barely interacts with, she noted that "IT'S NOT ABOUT THE MONEY. It's about the number of people making me uncomfortable."

The groom-to-be offered to cut down both of their lists so that they will have 400 people in total but that number is still too high for the poster. The thought of a wedding that large makes her "physically ill."

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"I have to be extremely outgoing and social at work and it's EXHAUSTING," wrote the poster, who also works in the food and beverage industry. "A wedding is already a highly emotional day. I don't want to increase that by feeling overwhelmed."

The woman said that she's tried explaining this to her soon-to-be husband, but they're still not on the same page. She noted that he became "really defensive" and said she was making him feel like she didn't care about "people who are important to him."

"The cost isn't my objection," the woman reiterated in her post, noting that the two live in an expensive city. "I don’t want to sound like I don’t care about his friendships, but to me, some of his reasons for inviting people just seem childish or irrelevant."

She continued: "Ideally I would like a wedding with 150 people, he wants closer to 500. I think I could do 250 without having a full panic attack and meltdown. I don’t want to sound like a diva, but the thought of being around 200+ people I’ve never met and being the center of attention makes me want to crawl into a corner and hide."

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Reddit users in the comments section largely agreed that the woman was "Not the A------" for wanting her fiancé to cut down his list from 400 to 200 people, but they were more concerned about the cost than the poster's comfort.

Other people said that the groom-to-be, who is opening a new business soon, is inviting so many people to the wedding to treat it like a "networking opportunity."

"To him, it's a soft launch for his business without any regard for your feelings," one person commented.

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