After Decades of Paying for 'Joint Gift' for Mom by Himself, Brother Finally Stands Up to Sister at Wife's Request

A man and his sister have a tradition of buying their mom a gift together, but she doesn't pitch in financially

Steve Debenport / Getty Images Family exchanging gifts in stock photo
Steve Debenport / Getty Images Family exchanging gifts in stock photo

A woman is expressing concern that her husband is being taken advantage of by his own sister during the holidays, sharing that while the two give their mom a "joint gift," only he actually pays for it.

In a post shared to Reddit, the woman writes, "My husband and his sister have a 'tradition' of buying their mom gifts together, but it always means she will pick the gifts and my husband [pays] for them. She never contributes a dime but the gifts are still presented as being from both of them."

As the tradition has continued into adulthood, the poster has suggested the sister contribute to the "joint" gift.

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"I’ve been shopping for his mom’s gift for weeks, until I found out this evening that his sister just texted my husband yesterday telling him she wants to buy their mom expensive Lululemon clothes for Christmas and he agreed to it without talking to me," the woman writes in the Reddit post.

She continues: "I’m frustrated because this feels unfair, especially since she’s 30, makes good money as a nurse, and spends on luxury for herself but not on gifts for her own mother and brother."

Now, the woman wants to know why she and her husband "are always having to be the ones who pay yet don’t even have a say-so on what to buy?"

"And why we are always the ones who buy gifts for them but they never buy us anything?" she adds. While her husband "acknowledged being taken 'advantage' of," he also thinks his wife is being “petty” for being upset about the situation," she adds.

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Some commenters suggested the woman's husband is "so wrong," with one writing: "You need to tell your husband that if he continues to side with his sister rather than you his wife why did he marry you?"

"Tell him if he’d prefer to stay married he either tells his sister she needs to immediately send him her half of what the gift cost or this gift will be only from you and him and also let her know this is the very last year we do a joint gift," the commenter adds.

Writes another: "He’s the whole problem. You really need to stand up for yourself ... At the very least you need to separate your finances."

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