Why return-to-office mandates could set working moms back decades
Are working moms fine today? And were they ever fine before? These are questions I’ve been reflecting on lately, especially after a post I shared on LinkedIn went viral, garnering over 3.6 million impressions, 29,000 reactions and 3,300 comments.
My post was in response to a man who dismissed concerns about returning to the office full-time, arguing, “It’s not a big deal. We’ve done it before, so why all the complaints?” He even added, “I understand remote [work] works really well with workers with children, but everything was fine before.”
But if you talk to working moms, the truth is that nothing was ever fine. And it definitely isn’t fine today.
The backlash—and what it reveals
The response to my post was intense. I was flooded with messages from moms sharing their stories, thanking me for speaking up about the importance of flexible work. But I also faced significant pushback. Many men asked, “What about dads?” One woman even called my post “slighted and sexist” and claimed that women’s equality in the workplace today is “pretty darn good.”
This reaction reflects a broader misconception—that working moms’ struggles are exaggerated or outdated . While more dads are involved in parenting than ever before, research shows that in most families, moms still carry the majority of childcare and household responsibilities.
The pushback highlights the tendency to downplay the disproportionate impact on women, even though these issues affect both parents. Until we address these disparities directly, working moms will continue to bear the brunt of these responsibilities—often at the expense of their careers and well-being.
Related: Working mom’s viral video nails why remote work is so important for mothers
The mental load: The invisible weight moms carry
What was true before the pandemic remains true now: moms aren’t just working full-time jobs—they’re also managing an often invisible load. Beyond physical tasks like school drop-offs, meal prep, and doctor’s appointments, moms are keeping track of schedules, signing up for extracurricular activities, planning meals, remembering birthdays, and ensuring everyone has what they need. A 2023 Pew Research Center study found that even in households where both parents contribute equally to the family income, women still take on the majority of child-related and household tasks. Another study in The Journal of Marriage and Family found that mothers manage 71% of household mental load tasks—the endless cycle of planning, coordinating, and anticipating needs.
And when things don’t go as planned—when a child gets sick or childcare falls through—it’s still moms who pick up the slack. Research from the Gender Equity Policy Institute found that mothers do 1.6 times as much childcare and household work as fathers, spending over 19 hours per week compared to just over 12 hours by fathers. Even in households with involved dads, moms remain the default caregivers, absorbing the last-minute disruptions that can make balancing work and family even harder.
And this imbalance has consequences: Moms are stressed, burnt out, and, in many cases, sidelined professionally because they simply couldn’t do it all. As one of my LinkedIn followers put it: “It feels like I am constantly juggling everything, and I am always terrified I am going to drop a ball.”
The real impact of remote work on working moms
Remote work doesn’t magically erase these responsibilities, but it does make them more manageable. It eliminates commute times, saves families money, and gives moms the flexibility to balance work and home life in a way that isn’t so crushingly unsustainable.
More importantly, it lightens the invisible mental burden that follows moms into work hours—the constant planning, anticipating, and coordinating that doesn’t stop just because they’re on the clock. Remote work allows for greater control over schedules, making it easier for moms to stay present both professionally and personally, rather than feeling like they’re failing at both.
Beyond work-life balance, the financial benefits of remote work are impossible to ignore. In today’s economic climate, where gas prices, transportation costs, and other living expenses continue to rise, eliminating the daily commute can significantly ease financial stress. Additionally, remote work can lower childcare expenses—one of the biggest financial burdens for parents, particularly those with young children. Flexible work arrangements help families avoid excessive childcare costs or the logistical nightmare of scrambling for last-minute backup care when daycare falls through.
For many moms, remote work isn’t just about making life easier—it’s about making staying in the workforce financially possible. Yet despite the benefits, return to office mandates are gaining momentum. And as always, it’s working moms who feel the impact first.
Related: 81% of working moms face burnout while ‘managing it all,’ Gallup study finds
Why this matters now
Ignoring these realities doesn’t make them go away—it perpetuates them. As I posted about the importance of remote work for working women, especially moms, I received a wide range of responses. Many dads argued, “What about us?”—and I understand. Remote work benefits everyone, regardless of their caregiving roles.
But here’s the reality: the systemic inequities women face in the workplace require specific attention. Yes, we’ve made progress in women’s labor force participation, and that’s great. But moms with young children are being left behind.
According to the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics, mothers with children under six are far less likely to be in the workforce compared to other parents, and their participation plateaued last fall. Flexible, remote work is one way to bridge that gap—benefiting all parents while allowing women to maintain careers.
While remote work won’t solve every challenge—like unaffordable childcare or the lack of federal paid family leave—it is a significant step toward achieving workplace equity. This isn’t about convenience. It’s about creating a workforce where women don’t have to choose between their careers and their families. And let’s be clear: while remote work benefits everyone, it provides especially vital relief to moms.
The bigger picture: Return-to-office mandates are setting women back
It’s 2025, and instead of addressing the systemic barriers that make it harder for moms to thrive professionally, return-to-office mandates are exacerbating gender inequity. A prime example is JPMorgan Chase, which disabled employee comments after backlash to its five-day return-to-office policy. Many workers criticized the decision, and for moms, policies like this signal a return to outdated, rigid workplace structures that fail to account for caregiving responsibilities
As As more companies follow suit, it’s moms who are once again left to juggle the impossible. They are balancing the demands of their careers with the persistent and disproportionate share of household and childcare responsibilities they continue to shoulder.
We have a rare opportunity to shape a future where moms don’t have to choose between thriving at work and being present for their families. Keeping flexible work options isn’t just about convenience—it’s about keeping moms in the workforce.
Sources:
Employment characteristics of families. Bureau of Labor Statistics. Employment characteristics of families – 2023.
A typology of US parents’ mental loads. 2024. Wiley Online Library. A typology of US parents’ mental loads: Core and episodic cognitive labor.
Husbands and Wives Earn About the Same. Pew Research Center. In a Growing Share of U.S. Marriages, Husbands and Wives Earn About the Same.