35 Tweets About The True Romance Of Date Night After Kids
One night, kids are just a sparkle in your partner’s eye — but before you know it, you’re shelling out over a hundred dollars just so you can both escape from those little devils.
Yes, it’s prohibitively expensive and yes, you’re too tired to keep your eyes open. But consider the long-term investment: regular date nights are cheaper than divorce!
Here, the wittiest parents on X (formerly Twitter) describe in detail what it’s like to go out with the love of your life after you’ve become parents.
You know you’ve neglected Date Night when you Uber it to one of your favourite restaurants, only to find out that they’ve been out of business for 2 months. 😬😬😬
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) February 2, 2019
My wife and I are the best parents to our kids when we are on a date night and drunk
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) August 18, 2023
[date night]
Me: (thinking) We have a love so pure and true. Our love can overcome any obstacle-
Husband: *begins chewing*
Me: Check please.— Jessie (@mommajessiec) November 26, 2018
*Date Night As Parents*
Mostly silence bc we know we shouldn't talk about the kids and various looks around the room commenting about the "beautiful lights" and "nice curtains" before I awkwardly blurt out "I got the next size up in diapers for the baby".— Stay at Homies (@stayathomies) March 21, 2019
I complained about my husband never spicing things up on date night and now he’s wearing a bow tie at Applebee’s
— Maryfairyboberry🧚🏻♀️ (@maryfairybobrry) August 4, 2021
It occurred to me that my wife and I have 12, maybe 13 years before we can probably have a date night without worrying about baby sitters or the kids.
It’s made me stressed.
Not because it’s years away, but because it might not be enough time for her to decide where to go.— threetimedaddy (@threetimedaddy) November 22, 2019
Date night before and after having kids pic.twitter.com/l5V1pjT2Pd
— The Dad (@thedad) June 6, 2020
My husband and I shouted at the kids to go back to bed at the same time and that’s the closest we’ve come to a date night in weeks.
— yelisa (@beingyelisa) September 13, 2018
Me after dinner: okay guys clean the kitchen ima go get my nails done then meet daddy for drinks
My oldest: oh how nice
My middle daughter: awwwhhh you guys are due for a date night
My baby girl: are you bringing home mozzarella sticks?— MOMMA $PICE (@ItsMrsPlugg) March 29, 2024
My wife and I were three drinks into date night when our 11-year-old came to us for help with her geometry homework, and let me tell you, we're all living dangerously tonight.
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 17, 2022
My son asked if queens were real. I said, "yes, there's one" & pointed to my wife. So don't tell me I don't know how to make up for forgetting about date night.
— A Bearer Of Dad News (@HomeWithPeanut) July 22, 2021
What I thought I’d hire a babysitter for before I had kids:
-fun date nights
-weekends away
-maybe even day dates!?!
What I actually need a babysitter for:
-cleaning my house
-finishing something for work that I couldn’t finish during the day bc I had 3 appointments
-yardwork— Lucy Huber (@clhubes) August 2, 2024
Me getting ready for date night:
Shower, make dinner for kids, try to put make up on, get kid a snack, put make up on again, do my hair, referee sibling fight, get dressed.
My husband:
Sits in a chair & asks why I’m not ready yet.— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) April 20, 2024
We got in the car, and my husband said we're gonna do a quick stop at Costco. I didn't even do my hair! If you're gonna take me on a date, please tell me first. I'm so mad rn.
— Marcy G (@BunAndLeggings) August 22, 2024
First date night in a long time, and my husband insists on wearing a flannel shirt. So wherever we go must be flannel friendly.
— Hollie Harris (@allholls) December 30, 2023
My husband and I haven’t had a date night in a month. So here we are, sitting at a brewery table, kid free, group texting with my dad about backyard fencing options.
This is 40.— Meg St-Esprit (@MegStEsprit) May 3, 2024
Day 4 of Vacation:
The in-laws have offered to babysit so we can have a date night.
We leave for the airport in 3 hours. I wonder how long it will take for them to realize we've left the country....— Anecdotal Birthcontrol (@AnecdtlBrthCtrl) July 6, 2022
Date Night.⁰⁰The one night a week you can have dinner in a restaurant that doesn’t serve chicken nuggets or chocolate milk.
— The Mom at Law® (@TheMomAtLaw) July 28, 2018
Me *opens door for wife on date night* allow me
Wife *takes microwave meal out* thanks— The Dad (@thedad) June 11, 2021
Before I was married people told me about date night but they never mentioned it just meant folding laundry together
— Real Life Mommy (@reallifemommy3) December 23, 2021
Being an adult is super fun because one day you’re on a date night at a great restaurant splurging on a fantastic meal. Then years later, you’re married, standing over the kids’ toilet together trying to unclog it on a Saturday night and end up splurging on an emergency plumber.
— Rachel Sobel (@whinecheezits) August 18, 2021
Let’s get married and have kids so instead of date night we can fight with tiny people over bedtime and then fall asleep binge watching Netflix.
— NicholasG (@Dad_At_Law) October 17, 2021
My husband brushed up against me in the bathroom this morning that will have to count as this month’s date night
— Mommeh Dearest (@mommeh_dearest) August 25, 2022
Having kids with family nearby must be wild like, you don’t pay $17/hr to leave the house outside of school hours? You just call grandma for inservice days? You don’t spend $100 for a date night before you even go on the date? Crazy stuff
— Lydia Kauppi (@lydiakauppi) March 1, 2023
One second, my wife and I were drinking wine watching a rom-com.
The next, we were sitting with a sick kid holding a puke bucket and watching "Is It Cake?"
Life comes at you fast. Welcome to date night.— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 12, 2024
[date night]
Wife: can we just do nothing
Me: omg yes— Adam (@YSylon) October 12, 2023
Secret to a successful marriage is going on date nights and taking turns to be the designated hungover spouse
— Vinod Chhaproo (@Chhapiness) May 30, 2023
Finally got out to a baseball game for a date night with my husband. The kids and babysitter know they can FaceTime us for anything important, so naturally my 7yo FaceTimed us during the 4th inning to let us know he got dark matter in Roblox. Priorities.
— Goldfish and Chicken Nuggets (@gfishandnuggets) September 29, 2022
Drinks, Legos, and a bunch of shows we need to finish on Netflix. Doing date night like proper adults. pic.twitter.com/PNeMH48e2n
— James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 16, 2024
If your husband takes you to Applebee’s on date night, you should probably just get a lawyer.
— Sweet Momissa (@sweetmomissa) May 24, 2021
date night is paying $120 for someone to play with your kids so you can argue with your spouse in peace
— Daddy Go Fish (@daddygofish) March 27, 2023
[Date night]
Me: Want to watch a movie or something?
Him: I actually heard there was a good show on tonight..
Me: what’s it called?
Him: ok ready? type in B-
Me: ok
Him: R-
Me: ok
Him: U-
Me:
Him: I-
Me:
Him: N-
Me: I’m going to bed— Lurkin' Mom (@LurkAtHomeMom) April 24, 2019
There comes a point in marriage when The Home Depot becomes a strong contender in where you go for date night.
— Sarcastic Mommy (@sarcasticmommy4) July 26, 2023
OUR KID-FREE DATE NIGHT HAS BEGUN I am so excitedoh okay never mind my wife is asleep already
— Rodney Lacroix (@RodLacroix) January 13, 2024
My husband and I finally had a date night. I took an hour to get ready. He changed from his day hoodie to his evening hoodie.
This story has a happy ending.— I Hide From My Kids (@IHideFromMyKids) December 18, 2021
