People Over 40 Share The Crucial Life Lessons They Wish They'd Known In Their Early 30s

When we're young, we think of being in our 30s as an age where we should and would have everything figured out. Of course, nothing can be further from the truth. The reality is that when we hit our 30s, we tend to feel more at a crossroads, and realize that we don't know everything.

Recently, I stumbled upon an old Reddit thread where the user eldeeder was curious about what people over 40 would change about their 30s knowing what they know now when they asked: "Reddit people 40 and over, what advice do you have for people in their early 30s?"

The thread got hundreds of responses. Below are some of the top, best, and most-often repeated comments.

1."Big goals are just checkpoints and have far less punch in hindsight. The day-to-day moments of sitting around with friends, cuddling on the couch, laughing together at a funny joke, those moments burn into memory and hold all of the real importance. Attaining or not attaining goals seems to have nothing to do with happiness. Looking back, some of my biggest failures that seemed so catastrophic at the time now feel meaningless. They are just part of my story. The people I've lost, I miss every day. It's only about the people."

2."I changed careers three times between 25 and 35. It's not about what you want to do with your life but what you want to do with your life right now."

3."Don't let yourself be intimidated by anyone. Make sure you learn from other people, be it successes or failures."

4."Get out of debt and stay out."

5."Don't buy a bunch of crap you don't need; by the time you're in your 40s, you'll be drowning in that shit."

6."Whatever you think you are going to do someday, do it now if at all possible, and if not possible, make a plan to make it a reality and start working on that plan. Otherwise, 10 years from now, it will still be just a fantasy. If you wish for it, it's a fantasy. If you plan for it, it's a dream. But only if you work for it might it become a reality."

7."Never settle. Being '30-ish and single' is not an excuse to settle for whatever comes along and marry and/or have a baby. Fast forward to my age, and you'll find yourself more miserable than you can imagine, AND you'll realize that when you reach my age, you don't really feel any older, and you still see a lot of time ahead of you. Time that seems pointless because you saddled yourself for the rest of your life (and/or legal family ties) with a raging sack of shit. Yes, I speak from experience."

8."If you have to/should lose weight...DO IT NOW! It's 300% harder 10 years later. Your body fights you every step of the way."

9."Start thinking about your exit strategy. When would you like to retire? What will it take to do that with the money you'll need? Don't obsess over it, but think well ahead for planning. Don't just target what your income will be (pension, investments, etc.) at the point of retirement. Consider what its value is going to be for the 30-40-50 years you may be living after that point."

10."Good and bad things will happen in your life. It's what you make of each that determines who you are. You choose. No one makes you happy, sad, or angry; you choose. Steal my motto: Always ready for the next adventure! I'm a 65-year-old redditor!"

11."Get rid of your 'dead weight' friends. I had several people that I thought were going to be my friends forever in college. I cut them all off like a bad habit. Shitty people just try to drag you down with them."

12."It's never too soon to get divorced. If you're married and it's not working, end it sooner rather than later because it only gets more difficult, not better."

13."Don't slave away for a company thinking it's for some sort of greater good and that you will be greatly rewarded sometime in the future. Unless there is an actual, measurable benefit for you in putting in so many hours, it's not going to happen. Nobody thanks you in the end, and you'll just burn out. Now, if you do this with a clear purpose and/or have actual benefits, that's fine."

14."Doing hard drugs in your 20s is normal. In your 30s it's edgy and exciting but makes life messy. In your 40s it's just sad and pathetic."

15."You are the problem. If you are getting upset over something, consider first that you may be the one with the problem. Get advice from others, and definitely talk to your SO about it, and bring it up as something that is concerning you, not 'Hey, stop doing X. You're pissing me off.' By taking the attitude that you are the problem and seeking advice, you are leading by example rather than tearing apart by blame. Even if you KNOW you aren't the problem, fake it, pretend that you are, and bring up the issue. What you will find is that BOTH are the problem and only by starting with a humble heart and not accusing will you actually discover and solve the real problem, which took a change on each side."

16."Say what you mean, and mean what you say, especially in relationships."

17.And lastly, "Spend time with your parents, they won't be around forever."

Okay, folks over 40, what is some advice you'd give to people in their early '30s? Or what is something you wish someone had told you? Let us know in the comments!!!

You can read the original thread on Reddit.

Note: Some responses have been edited for length and/or clarity.