16 Stories Of Men Doing Really Wholesome Things That Prove Toxic Masculinity Is A Disease

Thanks to things like toxic masculinity, it can often be rare to see men through the lens of wholesomeness of vulnerability. But recently, we asked the BuzzFeed Community to share the most wholesome thing they've ever seen a man do when he thought no one was watching, and my heart actually might burst. Here are the responses.

Note: Some responses are from this Reddit thread.

1."I saw my husband petting and talking to our feral colony cats. He also gave them lots of dry food and a bowl of half water, half milk. He only ever complains about them."

sillywalrus76

2."When my ex and I were living together, I walked in on him smelling my worn sweater before hanging it up. He was pretty embarrassed, but I fell more in love with him in that moment."

shinysword57

3."After only dating a few weeks, I walked past my bedroom and saw my boyfriend petting my elderly cat, and he leaned over and kissed her head. I had to put her down a few weeks later, and this memory is one of the reasons I said yes when he proposed."

Man smiling, taking a selfie with a fluffy cat snuggling against his cheek in a cozy room
Jim Cook / Getty Images

4."An old coworker didn't realize I was around the corner while he was on the phone with his wife. I heard him giggle and then say, 'This is why I love you so much!' There was also a time when his wife came to work, and while she was talking with our secretary, I saw that he was just staring at her with such a smitten look."

ssstege11573

5."My stepdad had been pretty undemonstrative as long as I knew him, but when my little son was sleeping over, my mom told me that she heard him go over to his bedside and say, 'I love you, little buddy.'"

psycwench

6."One time, I told my (newish at the time) boyfriend how handsome I thought he was, and he excused himself. I got worried, thinking I overstepped or did something wrong, and went looking for him. I found him crying in the other room. When I asked what was wrong, he just said, 'nobody’s ever said that to me before.' I wanted to cry, too. Love him."

—rohasi
Channel 10

7."I was hanging out with my friend E, and she runs into her friend J at the bar. We're all standing, and E leans down to fix something with her shoe. J subtly shifts his hand to cover the corner of the bar near her head, then withdraws it as soon as she stands up unscathed. It was one of the simplest, sweetest things I've ever seen a man do."

catmandude

8."Watching my father pull the car over to call my mom from a random gas station phone. She was in Asia. I found out later, during her trip back to her home country (the only time they had been separated for longer than three days in their long marriage), that he ran up thousands of dollars in overseas long-distance charges because he called her every day. In this case, he just saw a phone box next to a light pole, pulled over, and made us wait as he called her again."

besteagle62

9."Standing in the hospital doorway, watching my dad comb my dying mother’s hair so she would look pretty for my visit."

Person lying in bed holding hands with another person, receiving IV treatment, conveying care and support
Goodboy Picture Company / Getty Images

10."A bazillion years ago my husband and I's pregnant hamster had a bunch of little pale tan babies. They looked like tiny piglets. One night I saw him pick up one of the teeny little guys and hold them close to his face. Then this deep-voiced, kinda rough-looking dude whispers to the itty bitty hamster, 'Look how cute you are.' That was great."

bonedust

11."I’m a record producer. On a particular song, the client wanted a child’s voice to open it, so the bassist’s 10-year-old son came and recorded a vocal part. Once we wrapped, the singer said to the kid, 'Musicians get paid,' and he handed the kid a £20 note. The bassist then did the same. A small gesture, maybe, but in our world, making a living is hard and it was amazing to see professionals showing how it ought to be."

Toymeister

12."I saw a very short guy get out of a super lifted truck, and I automatically assumed, my bad, 'he'd need a rope ladder to get back in.' Then, a dog snoot popped out of the door, and that guy kissed the pupper right on the nose with scritches before closing the door to run his errands. I damn near melted. It was so cute!"

Person with long hair and elegant jewelry appears emotional at an event, hands near face, surrounded by a seated audience

13."I consider myself extremely lucky to have a dad who has no qualms about showing his emotions. I think he tries to be strong in difficult situations, not because he’s afraid to show that he’s upset, but for the sake of his family. I’ve seen wholesome moments from him throughout my life, but it always makes me so happy to catch him with the pets. We have two, a cat and a dog, and he adores them both. The cat has been in our lives for years now, and the dog was a typical ‘dad doesn’t want a dog until we get one, and now they’re best friends.' I’ll find him on his tummy on the floor with them, playing or just talking to and holding them, when he doesn’t realize I’m there."

golddustniamh

14."My dad crying over my mum’s dressing gown after she had passed away. He’s not one to show emotion, so to hear him crying over such a simple object showed just how much he loved her. He thought he was on his own as my sister and I had been downstairs watching TV while he got a bath ready for himself. We heard the hint of a wail and went upstairs to find him leaning against the wall while holding onto the gown."

"He kept apologizing, saying he didn’t want us to see him like that as he wanted to stay strong. We were touched once again by not only his bravery but also his love and care for us while dealing with his grief. He’s always a man who doesn’t particularly want to be seen or recognized for everything he does, but after his care for my mum during her ordeal with MND, he deserves all the praise he can get."

catieferrarer

15."The pet house bunny that he 'tolerates'...I found him brushing out my bunno's tangles, saying 'You're so good for Daddy.'"

—katlinel
Westend61 / Getty Images/Westend61

16."At a concert, I saw a buddy walking with his friend who was blind and also somewhat physically disabled. I overheard him telling his blind friend, 'Oh man, I was so smashed last night! I couldn’t walk or see nothing. Thank god for you and your cane. You were steering us everywhere like a champ. I would have been helpless without you!' It was really so heartwarming and you could see how much it meant to his friend to be told how he was the helper, not the person being helped. I’m assuming he was being a little hyperbolic, but the amount of joy I saw his kind words bring to his friend's face was so heartwarming."

fabutzio

What's the most wholesome thing you've ever seen a man do? Tell us in the comments.

Submissions have been edited for length/clarity.