17 Brutally Honest Confessions From Single Dads

Recently, we asked the single fathers of the BuzzFeed Community to share with us a "hard truth" about parenting that not many people know or understand, and the responses were incredibly thoughtful — so much so that we wanted to additionally highlight the stories of single dads from the Reddit community. Here are some of the stories that just might make you appreciate single parents even more:

1."Raising a teenage boy is wild. I don't remember eating that much when I was growing up, but I was in the kitchen feeding my boy and cooking like we were a family of four every night."

2."Traveling alone with your young child when you really, really need to use the facilities. You have to take the poor kid into the men's room with you because you can't leave her outside alone. She has to keep her eyes closed as you take care of business, plus you don't want her looking at the guys at the urinals. Not only that, but you sure as hell are watching out for any potential weirdos. It's stressful. Moral of the story for single dads: poop at home."

—u/OxfordBombers

3."Most men's restrooms don't have baby-changing tables. Also, everyone assumes that I'm married, and that's annoying."

4."One hard truth I've learned about parenthood, especially as a single dad of a teenage daughter, is how unprepared you can feel for moments like her starting her period. No one really talks about the awkwardness of being the one who has to figure out which pads or tampons to buy or how to navigate those conversations when you've never experienced it yourself. It's humbling and a bit overwhelming, but you quickly realize that it's your job to step up and make sure she feels comfortable and supported. The truth is, it's not just about handling the logistics — it's about being her emotional anchor through the changes she's going through, even when you're still figuring things out yourself."

—Bry, 34, California

5."My wife passed away shortly after giving birth, leaving me to raise our twin daughters alone. While it was so helpful to have support from both of our families, I still had to step up and learn a lot. I had to learn how to style hair (which definitely took a lot of YouTube tutorials), and I also had to buy them their first bras and pads when they grew old enough to need them. While it wasn't easy, this whole experience was something that I'd never take for granted. I look forward to attending my daughters' high school graduation next June!"

6."Hiring female babysitters for my two young daughters. EVERYONE treated me like I was going to have sex with the babysitter! It was ridiculous. I'm not even there, people! I leave once the sitter gets there!"

—u/AtHomeToday

7."There's a silent, unspoken bias when doing things with and for my daughters as if I'm not supposed to be present. The best example I have is Girl Scouts. Now, I'm a registered lifetime member of Girl Scouts and approved as a helper parent, which means I've gone through the background checks and all that. But it was a totally different matter when I took my daughter to a district-wide campout last year. My daughter asked me to go, so I agreed. I was one of two dads, and they stuck us in the absolute farthest place they could, away from the rest of the campers. It was a literal 10–15 minute walk to my daughter's campsite. The tag-along moms slept in the cabins, and though I obviously didn't expect that for me, I thought I'd least be able to sleep outside of them. The attitude from the rest of the volunteers and leaders was clearly that my presence was tolerated, but by no means welcome."

8."Nobody cares about you. Whereas single moms have every resource the government can give them, like alimony and child support, single mothers also often get support from family members and sympathy from coworkers. As single fathers, we rarely get any of that. We are alone."

—Octavio, 44, New Mexico

9."When I go to parent-teacher interviews with my ex-wife, the teachers speak directly to her the vast majority of the time. This isn't necessarily a hardship, but it is unintentionally disrespectful."

10."As a single father, you're often treated like you did something wrong, regardless of the circumstances. It's also very easy to get cut to pieces in the courts. Certain parts of parenting aren't treated on an equal basis, such as how mothers and fathers are perceived or how they're able to nurture and develop their children. Most times, according to stats, it's 'bad' fathers who leave the mother alone and are the issue. But, occasionally, the mother isn't cut out for parenting, and the father is left to fend for themselves in the courts and community."

—Spencer, 45, Minnesota

11."Having to explain to my young son why we can't spend time together with his mommy."

12."I'm a father of a 6-year-old girl. It's hard sometimes to get her to wash her private bits, and that's something I'm 100% not comfortable doing for her. She knows how, but as a six-year-old, she sometimes refuses or gets into a state about having to wash herself in the bath. Also, hair. I have a shaved head, so I don't even use shampoo or conditioner myself, let alone know how to braid or style hair. I can do a basic plait, but I always feel kinda bad when I see other little girls rocking fancy hairstyles while my kid is in a basic ponytail 90% of the time."

—u/rowdy-riker

13."I became a single dad at a youngish age, and dating was difficult with women in their mid-20s and no kids. They didn't seem to understand that I couldn't just take off on a Tuesday to go to a party because I had my son. My son always comes first, and I don't give up my time with him for a few drinks and a potential lay. I travel a lot for work, so I spend my time in town with him. Once, I had a girl sit me down when we went out to dinner. We had just ordered drinks when she told me that if I didn't prioritize her equally with my son, then it wasn't going to work out. I put $20 on the table, wished her a good life, and left."

14."One of the biggest things I've had to deal with is the stigma. Whenever people hear I'm a single dad, they immediately jump to the conclusion that I drove my wife away or caused some break in the marriage. The look of surprise when I tell them that I filed for divorce because my wife basically abandoned the family gets old really fast."

—u/[deleted]

15."Strangers telling me things like, 'Oh, is it daddy-daughter day?' or 'Are you giving mom a break today?' is tough in my situation because my kid's mom is deceased. I handle it fine, but my little lady still gets upset more often than not. I can't blame strangers because they don't know, but still."

16."Potty training while out in public. I can't tell you how many times I stood outside the little girls' room hoping a nice woman would notice and take my daughter in for me."

—u/itsagoodadayasany

17.Lastly: "Being a single father has taught me a lot about my own masculinity. I know I shouldn't have, but I used to feel insecure about cooking, cleaning, and doing all the shopping. My wife passed away from cancer, leaving me with our two amazing kids, and I knew I had to step up. But I didn't think I would have to navigate through my own fragile masculinity, and it was a surprising but necessary experience. It's taught me a lot about how society views gender roles and what it means to really be a man."

If you're a single dad, what's a difficult truth about parenthood that's not often talked about? Do you relate to any of these stories? Let us know in the comments, or you can anonymously submit your experience using this form!

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.